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Day 28 - Love Makes Sacrifices

beforethevows — Sun, 19 May 2013 17:19:00 GMT

On to Day 28. Right now I’m just so thankful that God is leading me through ways to do the dares 1200+ miles apart from my boyfriend. I’m not sure if yesterdays dare was in fact “daring”, I just did what I felt was right, which was to tell him that I understood his need for space and I would stop texting or calling or talking to him during the day, since he had mentioned a few days ago that he felt smothered. I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do, but I also know that whatever God’s will is, it is. When I prayed on it, I felt like this was the path to take, so here we go. I’m not sure what the ultimate end of this all will be. He’s home in a few days. Just gonna keep praying for the strength to follow my path, wherever it may lead.

Day 27 - Love Encourages

beforethevows — Sun, 19 May 2013 12:13:00 GMT

For the first time in over a week I got to talk to see my boyfriends face for Day 27. It went well. I thank God for any conversation we have that goes well, does not result in fighting and leaves me feeling like things will probably be ok between us when he comes back. We didn’t talk for long, but I made sure to thank him for driving out of his way to get internet access (he doesn’t have any where he’s staying) to come and talk to me for a few minutes face to face. So what did I apologize for being so hard on him for? Mainly for how I’ve been these last few months was all I could think about when I prayed on it. He mentioned the other day that he feels like I text him too much during the course of the day and it feels to him like I’m checking on him; really it’s just because I’m thinking about him and talking to him during my day makes anything I am actually doing 300% more enjoyable. Regardless he said it bothers him so I made an effort to let him have the day without me texting unless he said something first. I told him I could understand where he was coming from and that I would work on it. I also promised him that I would work on healing myself and getting back to the girl he met when he was deployed, I asked him for his help and thanked him for his patience with me.

What really struck me about this chapter was “you’re not saying you’re perfect, but it seems like you should be able to point out genuine problem areas. Right?” And I thought RIGHT! But as I continued through the chapter I felt my eyes opening. It’s not about that. Yes I have to be able to talk to him about my feelings. But I need to do it with love. I need to criticize less and listen more. I prayed for God to give me the strength to be what this man needs whether I wind up with him ultimately or not. I prayed for God to open his heart to me once again, and mostly to Him. So that my boyfriend can find whatever part of himself he feels he has been missing for a long time. Today is a new day, and I’m so blessed for everything it brings. It’s time to start seeing that.

Good Day

foreverlearning — Sun, 19 May 2013 09:17:22 GMT

Well we tried a church closer to home that the pastor from last week suggested to us. It was nice and comfy, very Australian. It's held in a school building and the pastor was there with his guitar singing. The message was easy to understand and the people were nice. I think we'll go back next week.

My friend came over with her Grandson this afternoon. They are the ones whose Grandfather attacked his Grandson. It was really good to see them. They have come a long way since I last them. The Grandson has stopped having nightmares now and he only needs one more counselling appt. The grandma has finished her counselling. I was thinking that if we keep going to this new church I'll see if she'ld like to come along. We have room for 1 more in our car so I'll ask her.

Day 39 round 2

foreverhopefull — Sat, 18 May 2013 15:12:57 GMT

Today's dare was difficult to do because I am focussing on the possible reaction I'm going o get from my husband. He is annoyed so easily, therefore I'm sure another letter professing my unconditional love for him is going to get under his skin. Last round he appreciated the letter because he was happy to be with me again. He has sure been jerking my heart back and forth. In really trying to give it to God and focus on other things other than trying to save my marriage. He is so confused. Going back to the other day, he stated that he has no desire to have sex with me. He said it in a mean and almost proud way. But yet, 20 minutes later he was making advances and then we did it. During the act, he said he was sorry for neglecting me, but now once again the distance is back on at full force. I do appreciate the fact that he still talks to me about his day and what not. He doesn't really want to hear much of what I have to say, mainly just whatever is on his mind. He found a job that starts in a few weeks and he said he is so excited to get out of the house. I hope him being at work during the day gives him the space he needs in order to get right in his heart according to Gods will. When I'm at work, I don't hear from him all day. He still refers to certain things in our future but he also says negative things about us not being together. Initially I cheated this dare. I left a post it on the fridge just saying I love you and have a nice day. I was going to leave that as my letter. Once I got to thinking about what Sean keeps saying about doing the dares and not worry about the reaction, I came up with a letter. I will leave it somewhere for him to find. It just reiterated my love for him. I thank him for sticking around still and I believe we are on the road to recovery. I state that I am hear to love him no matter what darkness he is carrying. I hope it doesn't push him further away :-/

Day 26 - Responsibility and Love

beforethevows — Fri, 17 May 2013 11:45:00 GMT

The dares just seem to keep getting harder as each day passes right now. Some days I just want to shout, hey give me the patience dare again I can DO that one. On the bright side, it has led to me praying and reading my bible several times a day. In spite of being a country apart right now, in spite of him telling me I’m smothering him, I’m feeling more connected with God and spirit than I have probably ever. So there is that.

On to today’s dare, responsibility. I started with the thing that has most been weighing on my mind, and the hardest for me to say knowing I could lose him in the process. When I confronted him about the email he sent to another woman the other day I told him it had been forwarded to me. Despite the fact he denied ever writing it, I know him well enough to know that he would have still gone to this other woman and torn into her for sending me this information. I didn’t want her to take the blame, it was time to take responsibility. So I told him. It was never forwarded to me. I got into his email and read it. I was shaking as I did it. I sent him an email first, but couldn’t wait for him to read it, so I wound up telling him over the phone instead. I knew it could drive him towards her. I knew he would be furious. But I was feeling too guilty to let someone else take the blame for my actions. And if this is ever to work with me and him, it can’t be based on any lies, even this one, so I told him. I apologized. I told him I went about it in the wrong way (I did). I also tried to convey to him that I was hurt in reading that, that I wanted him to be honest with me when I gave him an opening, I did it all without yelling (bonus point there for me because this would usually turn into a screaming match, I’m still sticking to my rules).

He still denied everything. That he didn’t remember writing it. That if he did it was to flatter her because she was nice, not because he actually felt that way. I tried to ask him to see it from my side. How painful that would be for me to read how he thought someone else was so pretty, how he couldn’t wait to see her, how special she was. How he would feel if I was writing those words to someone else. He said he guessed it would hurt him too but he didn’t MEAN it. I guess in his mind maybe that’s supposed to make it ok, and no matter what I said I couldn’t quite get through to him how disrespected I felt reading that, and that under no circumstances should he be with me and write those kind of things to any other woman regardless of the reason. But it didn’t seem to get through.

Instead he told me he thinks he wants a break. That he’s seriously considering coming home and packing all of his stuff and going back to Ohio after he gets in Tuesday. I was wrong in the way I told him things happened. Really wrong. I fully admitted this, and apologized. But he was still furious (I guess I can’t blame him for that). He said he’s sick of feeling like he’s always being monitored or treated like a liar when it’s been 6 months since he cheated on me and he doesn’t know why I can’t get past it. I keep praying on forgiveness, regardless of what path we take I have to forgive his infidelity and let it go, because it will destroy me if I let it take hold. I have a little daily prayer app on my phone, so I spent lunch yesterday reading the verses about comfort, and praying for help. I’ve asked him to wait to make a decision until he returns home in a few days and then to talk with me about it in person. He says he still loves me. So now I guess I just wait to see what he decides, and keep praying for God to heal my heart and my soul.

Joe Thorn on cultural engagement

JakePratt — Fri, 17 May 2013 11:00:00 GMT

Cultural Engagement
Joe Thorn

As the church is faithful to the mission given to her by Jesus Christ she will, out of necessity, “engage culture.” Of course, engaging culture is not our mission, but “making disciples of all nations” is what our Lord has called us to do. Yet, this sacred work cannot be done in a vacuum outside of the cultural milieu in which people live.

Paul’s experience in Athens (Acts 17:16-34) is helpful as it demonstrates how he approached people and ministry in a particular culture. The Apostle found himself in Athens, not through the careful planning and execution of a detailed ministry strategy, but in the providence of God as he encountered opposition to his ministry. And, while he was there, Paul was not idle. He was led by God to push forward with the gospel into a unique time and place. Here we see three things that characterized Paul’s ministry as he engaged culture.

Paul was provoked by the lostness and idolatry of the people. He was struck by the deep and pervasive idolatry of the people in Athens. These were men and women who were created to know and reflect the glory of God, but they had rejected the Creator and instead chose to worship created and imaginary gods. Paul engaged the culture not because he loved culture, but because he loved God and loved people made in God’s image, and because it is a necessary aspect of carrying out the mission of the church.

Paul focused on the grand narrative of God that culminates in the work of Jesus. His response to people and culture in Athens was to do what he always did in every city—proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord. He first went to the Synagogue where the Scripture was available to be read and expounded upon. He didn’t develop a totally new approach to engage the people God had surprisingly sent him to. Rather, he continued to fulfill his calling to preach Christ crucified. As the Athenians heard this message they became curious or incredulous.

Paul showed the Athenians how their culture and lives were both connected to and yet disconnected from the truth of God. He could do this because he understood their religion and worldview enough to point out the need for redemption from within their own belief system, as he brought the good news to them from outside of it.

Cultural engagement is not the thoughtless consumption or uncritical reception of things in culture, but a pressing into the lives of people who live in a particular cultural context with an understanding of their world and how the gospel ultimately answers their brokenness and alienation from God. Cultural engagement is not the goal of ministry, but a necessary component of faithful gospel proclamation. It means we work to know the beliefs, values, and idols of the people, determining where, what, and how they worship. It means we work to clearly articulate the supremacy of Jesus over these things. It means we remain focused on the mission Christ gave the church.
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This essay is taken from The Mission of God Study Bible, Copyright © 2012 by Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville, TN. All Rights Reserved.

Rnd 3 Day 38 Love fulfills dreams

kpransom — Fri, 17 May 2013 10:38:36 GMT

Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.

One of her desires was for me to be a true partner in our marriage. I met part of that today when I took responsibility of the repair of the car. Before she would do this because for one reason or another she would not trust me to follow up on things like this. Quite frankly I did give up trying to help her on certain things because she didn't trust me. Tonight as I was giving her a backrub she thanked me for taken care of the car and glad she didn't have to do it. She said it was strange for the mechanic to talk to me about the car instead of her. I also am planning something special Lord will for her 50th birthday. She always wanted to swim with dolphins. My wife loves dolphins. So I am starting to save money to a trip to the bahamas. She has never been so this will be something special for her.

Anxious

foreverlearning — Fri, 17 May 2013 05:35:12 GMT

The other day on the way back home my husband and I were following each other in seperate vehicles. It was dark not long after midnight and he told me to stay up close to him. A few hours later down the track it was still dark and raining when he overtook a truck and took off. We have mobiles and a radio in the car that we used to keep in touch earlier on. As I didn't know the road that well I stayed behind for quite some time before I felt ok to pass him. Even then it was nerve racking. Anyway I kept driving with no sign of my husband anywhere. I prayed the whole time feeling more and more anxious as I didn't know where he was. A while later he contacted me and I was quite upset with him, he hung up on me and took off. I pulled up in a town for a bit thinking it doesn't matter anyway, he's gone. Eventually I arrived at the town we were heading to and drove to where he had wanted to go. By this time it was morning. As I was pulling up, he pulled in behind me. He had followed me from just outside the town, with no call or anything. Meanwhile I'm wondering where he actually was as he had our son. When we started talking, I just said to him I needed help to get around the truck back there. He said he had tried to call me up(???) for me to go around and then he couldn't stand being behind it anymore so he took off. I didn't say anymore about it but the thoughts are there of why couldn't he have pulled over to make sure we were ok. I would have been constantly looking out for him.

Then just before it occured to me that the reason I get anxious about being around drinkers or partiers is that I have post traumatic stress from my previous experiences with it. I knew I had it from growing up in an abusive house. It was like a war zone everyday for the 16yrs I lived there. I hadn't thought of it though for my husband and his drinking. He used to be quite abusive and mean towards myself. It was the same kind of situation where I never knew what he would be like. He hasn't been as bad for about 8 months now but he does still drink abit and he said he's not going to stop.

Again lots to pray about.

Confused...game playing?

foreverhopefull — Fri, 17 May 2013 02:50:54 GMT

Lately I have been battling with what thoughts are mine, the enemy speaking, or God speaking to me. My husband and I had a talk last night per his initiation. He stated thy the negative feelings are creeping back in and that he fantasizes about leaving me everyday. He said he just wants his freedom the week he wouldn't have the kids. I reiterated that I believe this is his depression talking because he is so different when it is that. I reminded him tht just a few weeks ago he stated he would regretted leaving and thanked me for sticking by his side while he was going through something. He just said maybe I'm right but right now he can't see it and that he won't leave until he for sure knows with a clear mind. He said he is only going to get meaner. He then let me know that he has no sex drive so there is no need to go there with him. But yet he comments on how he would love a Victoria secret model to touch all over him! He says anything he can to hurt me, but I immediately go into prayer. So my question is this, do I not initiate anything? No sex, no cuddling, no affection and just let him lead all that? I feel like that's a game, but Sean, you stated that these things might push him away. I just don't want to be so available to him I guess. I told him there needs to be boundaries with respect and that he can't speak to me the way he does at times. He didnt care what I had to say about that. He said he is not capable to provide me what I deserve when it comes to love and that's why he wants me to find a Christian man that can make me happy. He joked yesterday that he wished I were dead, and when I got teary eyed he said I was too sensitive and that I can't take a joke. I just don't know what is being a doormat and just doing what Jesus would do. If I don't stand up and respect myself , how can I expect him to?

God's Unfinished Story Part 2

Rick H — Thu, 16 May 2013 23:26:22 GMT

Yesterday I wrote about my morning meeting with the 91 year old bride to plan the 70th wedding anniversary party of her and her 93 year old husband. I detailed how she told me the story of their 70 year marriage since meeting in Oklahoma, her opinion of the modern concept of being “happy” in marriage, how people who say, “I just want to be happy” (that’s a direct quote from my wife) are really saying “all I really care about is myself”. She also described surviving the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl in the 1930s. Her husband fought in World War II and the Korean War. It was like studying a pastiche of history sewn together with one marriage that has lasted 70 years… so far. This is what the Lord did for me to start off the day.

Through the rest of the day, He began to show me how He was busy writing the new story for me, how He was going to create opportunities for testimony, how what He has in mind for me extends far beyond the confines of a less than good marriage. At the same time he showed me things that said He was still at work so love still needed to be patient… at least for a while! The phrase “wait on God’ was a common theme of the day.

I had a wonderful conversation with Pastor Anthony about dealing with anger. Honestly, my wife taking the 2 week trip to Europe with the CEO guy and not pay for anything not only made me angrier than anything else she has done, but the undertones of a well off guy she met in a “bottle” club where rich guys go to meet women interested in rich guys, a man she had only seen for 2 weeks at best when she planned the trip, took my disgust for her actions to a whole new level…or perhaps down to a new basement. Her open adultery in a situation where we are not even legally separated had me questioning Anthony, “this IS adultery, right?” I had been ready to let her have the quickie divorce, to find any excuse to get that ring off as soon as possible.

But God was in control of this day and He spoke to me clearly, allow her the separation, keep the ring on. But why? Does this mean there’s still a chance for the marriage? Do it because I asked you to, because it is My will. I almost cried in the van on the way home. OK, Lord, I don’t understand, but OK. Then when I got home it was as if I felt God put His arm around my shoulder and say, “ I know things have been a little tough lately, rejoice in this day I have made for you.” Still not understanding but feeling strangely MUCH better, I sat down and wrote yesterday’s journal. All the time I kept hearing in my head “I have plans for you”. I’m still hearing it today, in fact.

Slowly but surely, the thoughts of my wife dissipated. Before this all started, I spent a lot of time alone because of my wife’s travels. I lived somewhat through the online social world of Facebook, Linkedin, and the professional DJ sites that I belong to. Since this all started back in November, I had pretty much shunned all that, feeling my pain would come screaming through on every post. Lately I have dipped my toe in the water a little as a business person, but personal sharing has been kept to the bare minimum. I have also been careful about mentioning my revived faith in the social context. Yesterday I made a couple of short posts, one about how hearing the 91 year old lady talk about her marriage was like getting a glimpse into the mind of God and another about God putting his arm around my shoulder and saying what I wrote above with a few details on the day. The reaction shocked me with the number of people “liking” and the comments. People want to hear stuff like that, Suddenly I realized that your personal ministry, your testimony is EVERYTHING, everything you do, say, write, or tweet, be it personal or business related. It’s ALL the Lord’s work. The whole of your life is your testimony , your ministry. You live in Christ, you walk in Christ, you talk in Christ.

I read something about how the progression in Christian life is like an hourglass with the cross in the middle. Your life before the cross is wide but ever narrowing as time goes on, but then once it gets as narrow as possible and you pass through the cross in the middle of the hourglass it begins to ever widen again. I completely understood that wonderful analogy.

Around 4pm I got the text that I have been waiting 3 weeks for. My son text me that I could come and see my granddaughter. She’s been in an intensive care unit since her surgery so one visitor at a time is the norm. I drove to the hospital smiling all the way and when I saw that beautiful little being it was truly love at first sight! I got to hold her for over an hour and all I did was stare and smile for that entire time. I hadn’t held a newborn since her father, but this sure felt different than any other time. Other grandparents had warned me about the bond and I certainly felt it. I got to hang around for another hour while she was being fed and changed, blessed to see her awake and alert. I was so proud of my son. He is going to be such a great dad. As I have said, my bad example certainly had a good result with both him and my stepson.

His fiancee' looked at my hands as I was hanging over the crib and said “you’re still wearing your wedding ring?” I hate to say it, but my children are all quite happy over the impending divorce as they feel like they are finally getting their father back. No sense beating the details here, but that’s how they feel and I can actually understand. I looked at the ring and could feel God entering that room. Is this why you want me to keep wearing it? God smiled and I looked at my daughter in law to be, “it really doesn’t have anything to do with her, it’s more about my faith. Just because one person does all the wrong things that doesn’t mean everyone has to. If and when the divorce is final, I’ll take it off.” To my surprise no reaction, no stop being such a wimp, dad, no how could you do that with the way she has treated you. My daughter in law just said her hands were too swollen to get her ring on and the moment passed, but the testimony was out there, God…writing the story again. Preparing the future. Laying the groundwork.

After the hospital visit, I scooted to the church, where I got my elderly parents to eat for the second week in a row even though I wasn’t there. I caught the final hour of my discipleship class remembering Anthony's recipe for healing. Time in the Word, time in prayer, time in fellowship with believers… Time. When the class ended Pastor Bruce shocked me by asking me to close the class with prayer. I had no apprehension. It was brief and with beam like focus, a prayer directed by the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Father, for this time, thank you for your unending love. Fill every heart here with that love and then lead that heart as we leave. Put one person in front of each of us during the next few days, one life we can help you change by revealing the love and power of your glory. We thank you for this time, we thank you for this church, we thank for each other, but most of all we thank you for your beloved Son who walked among us in perfection and then gave His life that we may be forgiven our sins and take our place in heaven beside Him. Thank you for Jesus Christ. Amen.

Day 26 - Responsibility

arap926 — Thu, 16 May 2013 15:42:56 GMT

This is something that I came to terms with a while ago. I have asked my husband for forgiveness in a general sense and then specifically about each thing that came to mind. One time I flipped out on him because he stained the brand new couch and then went out and bought 3 different products to try to fix it and none worked. As I was trying to clean it I continued to rant. One day that came to mind and I asked for forgiveness. I have done this often and now it just seems to annoy him. I have asked for forgiveness in a general sense for all the things I have said and done. He has said he forgives me but I’m not sure. All I know is that I forgive myself, I have repented and now I will not focus on that person that I was because she is dead.

I just pray that God continues to reveal anything else or any other areas where I have failed in my responsibility to my husband or any areas where I have said or done things to God that were wrong. I always try to be honest with Him. I tell him how I feel. Sometimes I am very angry with him but I eventually get over it. I think He can handle that.

I am sure that sometimes I probably make excuses for my actions without even knowing it but I have been trying. What stood out to me was the whole thing about not taking responsibility for our actions to prove how noble I’ve been but to admit how far I have to go. I do know that I have a long way to go which is pretty exciting but I know my default is to pat myself on the back. Those around me are constantly telling me how strong I am and how much of a good job I have been doing with my situation. I know it’s all God but some of it does go to my head. Even my husband complements my strength. It becomes hard to stay humble but I’m working on that.

I am very concerned with my husband’s needs and for an entire year have not even considered my own. I feel that it is time for a healthy balance. It was soooo good to hear – THIS IS NOT A DEMAND THAT YOU BECOME A DOORMAT! Oh praise God!

The question was what does K need to see in order for him to believe that my confessions were more than just words. I have shown him selflessness and patience and love and I do not attempt to control him and I am no longer easily angered.

Day 28 - Deep Breath

italy716 — Thu, 16 May 2013 14:08:38 GMT

The journey my husband and I have been on through the healig of my adultery is exhausting. It's been 8 months since he found out and we have had huge healing. I started going to counseling on my own 2 months ago...my husband shocked me last week and told me that he too had started counseling 6 weeks ago!!! Knock me over! We have had an amazing 3 weeks but then last night like many times before the foundation we are trying to rebuild started to crack. He said "I am just supposed to live with what you did? I am supposed to wear this and say it's ok and still take care of you"? How do I respond to that? He keeps thinking that at the 1 year mark all should be healed and if not then we need to end this. How can you put a time constraint on healing? I feel that only hinders the process. I keep praying for him to remain strong...for Christ to give me the strength to be calm and have the right words when the foundational cracks appear. Today I have a lot of anxiety......

Day 35 - Accountability

Bryan — Thu, 16 May 2013 12:32:18 GMT

Not sure if I should expect the best and proceed that way or expect the worst and prepare that way.

Through other's of my support team, the conversations regarding a reconciliation should probably not be started by me at this time. They feel its best to let her start any of these conversations and since she has probably confided in them more then me that is what I will do at this time. But that does not mean I can't get some of my ducks in a row if/when they may happen.

Would love a Marriage mentor couple to be able to talk and discuss openly with past, present, and future issues. I have a couple in mind and would like to approach them on the subject when the time is right. I don't want to start false hopes with myself or with them. They are our former neighbor's and we had gotten to know them fairly well in the 7 years we lived next to each other.

Marriage counseling was something I had asked her to do with me when this first started and she said she needed time first. Still willing to give her that time. But I feel we still need to do this, its just finding the right one at the right time.

Both of the people who caution me to give her the space and time she needs are very hopeful that this will come to a reconciliation. They have both spent time with her and in prayer and this is the feeling that they both get. To me this is great news, but have to let that expectation go. I can not fix her, I can only fix me. Time in communication with God is helping along with the counsel from others on this site. For all that I am grateful and thank God daily for all the support he has provided for me.

Day 25 - Love Forgives

beforethevows — Thu, 16 May 2013 12:05:00 GMT

Day 25 starts out by saying that it’s the hardest dare in the book. In light of recent events yesterday, I definitely struggled with this one today. I’m a big believer in forgiveness. I talk about it all the time when I teach yoga (my second/third job). Funny how I spend so much of my week telling other people to forgive, even if they don’t know how, but to genuinely say that they do and put that intention into the world, because holding on to a grudge does not serve them. I need to get better at taking my own advice I guess. I spent most of the day feeling sick over my boyfriend telling me I’m smothering him and over the email I read. I found myself returning to my bible for comfort on my lunch break and reading the psalms, and whatever else struck my fancy. I trusted God would guide me to the passages I needed to read. I prayed, I don’t know, multiple times yesterday. I prayed for strength, I prayed to forgive my boyfriend, I prayed to be able to follow His path with honor. Before I went to bed I worked my way through an exercise that I always give my students in class. I took all of the things I was trying to forgive my boyfriend for, the infidelity, the lies, the temper, seeming callous and cold to my feelings, making me feel small, and I gave that feeling a color. While praying I closed my eyes and pictured that color leaving me, the anger, the feelings of betrayal, the hurt. It helped. I woke up after a bad round of nightmares of him telling him he’s cheating on me again, which kind of has me down today. I’m still praying. I’m still putting my forgiveness out there. I know that God will heal my heart in his own time.

The Tough Stuff Part 2;

Rick H — Wed, 15 May 2013 18:52:36 GMT

I have decided to perhaps journal a little more as this negotiation between my wife and I progresses. I hope that no one else would have to deal with this sort of stuff here, but I doubt that is true, so hopefully these stories will help someone who gets to this point.

Yesterday afternoon my wife came over to pick up the mail. I actually fed her as she complained that she hadn't eaten all day. Things went pleasant enough until the end when she tried to bring up the settlement. After me telling her that I was going to see my granddaughter and I did not wish to discuss that today, she said she understood and then, of course, proceeded to discuss it anyway. I am almost sure that she assumed since I was very nice, shared the baby's pictures and even served her food that I was still open to her manipulation. She acted surprised when I not only didn't give in, but was really very tough minded about her pleas for a reduced settlement and also not sympathetic when she started saying that I would have to work with her a little on the payoff. When she began with how she had moved on with her life and she wanted me to move on with mine, I somewhat rudely interrupted saying if she could afford to have a new boyfriend and afford to travel Europe with him for 2 weeks, she could afford to pay me, she came back with "I'm not paying for anything". She sort of stopped, realizing that she was caught in her own trap in so many ways with no way out. After that she immediately turned and got in the car saying we could talk later.

I thought about how they tried to trap Jesus on the issue of whether to pay tax to the Romans and so many other times the Pharisees and manipulators tried to trap him and how He was able to show their hypocrisy every time.

In this case, my wife not only admitted to the trip with this man and realized the light the fact that he was paying for everything put her in, but she was trapped in her own response. If she said she was paying her own way, that didn’t look good. If he was paying everything, that didn’t look good either and had a whole other set of potential convictions attached to it as well. I did not intend this trap, but I did pray long and hard from morning on that if I saw her Christ would take the helm of my heart, control my thoughts and my words, so I believe he created the situation and led me to say those words at just that moment when her guard was down enough to give that answer.

Shortly after she left, I text to her to call or drop back by to finish the conversation when she was done with her dinner meeting. If not tonight, then Thursday, but not tomorrow or Friday. I was angry, I admit that, a very flesh based anger, verging on vindictiveness. I finally got a text back around 10 with nothing about the meeting, but rather a thank you for my sharing the pictures of my granddaughter and how she was beautiful. Frankly, I think that was another almost desperate attempt to set me up for manipulation.

When I woke up this morning I found that I still harbored that anger. I prayed and prayed on that. This morning I went and met with a client for Sunday’s event, which is a SEVENTIETH anniversary party. This 91 year old lady was just delightful with a wonderful sense of humor and lucid as can be. She expressed their blessings at being able to make it that far and said people nowadays were different. The modern idea that married couples should be “happy” was merely an acronym for how selfish people are to her. People who leave marriages to be happy are really saying “all I care about is myself”. She told me their story of how they met during WW II and how many times she was telling herself I’m getting out of here, but she never did. Now they feel like they have reached the gold ring. I could see God in the whole story, working His magic behind the scenes, rewarding His faithful and obedient servants for their faithfulness, taking the good times and the bad times and rolling them together into one giant sense of wonder at celebrating 70 years together.

I also called my friend Pastor Anthony about the anger that I was feeling, although it had subsided when I spoke with him. Always good for scripture, he told me that wrath belonged to the Lord and the mouths of the righteous would never speak in anger. Wait on God, he said, God will bring peace. He has as I write this.

Caution to remember, however, that peace and happiness are not the same thing, so we must be prepared when the onset of peace comes, but the sadness remains. Sadness is the classroom right next to Discomfort in the Lord’s school of this life. You have something left to learn from this sadness.

Anthony is always good for one gem and I would like to share that here. I told him that one of the things that had me angry was that my wife had consistently refused to go to church with me, yet now was seeking church and attending with a relative here in Virginia. The blatant hypocrisy of her doing this while planning an adulterous trip with her boyfriend angered me. Of course, I realized that is the flesh passing a judgment, so I was not about to say anything out loud. I told him that because I had set her up with the relative, who is very devout, I felt that I had let a thief in the temple. This was, of course, just more flesh taking over spirit with these thoughts. I knew that, but I wondered if there was a way to speak the truth in love. He gave me a simple, but brilliant way to do so. The next time she talks about church just say that “I am so glad you are seeking God, what is He telling you?”

The visit with the 91 year old and speaking with Anthony were God’s answers to my morning prayers to please take this anger away. Last night I was so angry that I was ready to let her file for the quick divorce and contemplated taking my wedding ring off as it seemed a constant and stark reminder of her betrayal, deceit, and lies. After speaking with these two today, I can see that ring differently and have new purpose in keeping it on, That ring is a reminder of God’s faithfulness to US, his eternal promise to bless us for our suffering if we just remain obedient and stay on the course he has laid out for us. I will keep the ring on and give her the separation not the divorce. I won’t interfere with the work of our Lord or his timing. Whatever He has in mind for me and this marriage, I will let the project remain in His hands. He is the one with the plan. I am his servant and praise Him for all things which flow only through Him.

Day 25 - Forgiveness & some major questions

arap926 — Wed, 15 May 2013 16:25:51 GMT

Ah forgiveness. I never got to this one last time because I quit the week before.

It was said that we know we have forgiven if we feel sorry for them, pity them and hope they get it all turned around. That is exactly how I feel about my husband. However, in the past I have wondered if I have fully forgiven him because what he does still gets me mad. This text has made me realize that I can be mad (at least I think) about what was done if I am getting mad at the situation and not necessarily at the person. Do you think that is fair to say? I don’t get mad about it often but when I think about the fact that my husband created this situation (by beginning a friendship with some woman) which lead to our demise and then did nothing, or very little, to try to restore our marriage I sometimes will become angry about it. Not enraged but hurt and mad. When thinking about this I also sympathize with him because I don’t think he really knew what he was doing or at least to the extent that it would hurt me. I feel bad that he didn’t have a strong enough relationship with God to turn to Him instead and I feel really bad that ultimately he has no relationship now with God at all. But yes when I think back on what he did it makes me mad. I don’t take it out on him. I don’t bring it up. And I do understand that he was living by flesh and that we all make mistakes. So is it fair to say I have forgiven?

Now that the BIG stuff is out of the way I think I should address the little things. It has been one year since the issues of my marriage came to a head. K and I are in virtually the same place. Somewhere along the way, over this past year, we grew really close and formed a great friendship type bond. Recently we have been drifting apart. Mostly due to his busy schedule and to the fact that I have started setting up boundaries that I do not think he appreciates although he says he does.

K and I had Wednesday night “dates” consistently over the past year. A few months back he started canceling last minute and one time he just didn’t show up. I let it go and still remained available Wednesday. I am no longer going to do that to myself anymore. If he doesn’t make it clear that he will be coming over and other plans come up I take part in those activities. Boundary #1 I am not going to enable him to make/cancel plans like I am at his every beck and call. That is not kindness and that is what I had wrong all this time. I thought I was being kind but was actually being harmful but enabling such actions.

Boundary #2 is the intimacy. This one I am not so sure on. I thought that our intimate experiences were keeping the one flesh part of covenant alive and sticking it to the devil by considering each encounter as a way of saying “he is still my husband!” I feel like I might also be enabling him here as well but in a different way. I do not feel that he is using me – as I am sure he could find others to engage in such activity with. I have set up the boundary long ago that if he’s going to sleep with me then it’s going to be only me and if he decided to partake elsewhere then I would no longer be interested in pursuing a sexual relationship with him. My problem is that when he does come over on a Wednesday its for an hour with the first part being casual conversation – including conversation about my need for money, and the second part of a sexual nature followed immediately by him putting on his shoes and leaving. I asked him not to do this anymore. He would also sometimes leave the money we had discussed on the table. I also asked him to stop coordinating the money with the sex for obvious reasons. As a result of my requests he has stopped leaving immediately after and plops down on the couch to talk for a few minutes before leaving. It seems so artificial. He does continue to leave me money on the nightstand though and it’s starting to annoy me. As a result we had a bit of a blow out which consisted of me crying and telling him how I didn’t feel important to him and we don’t even feel like friends anymore. He told me a bunch of hurtful things which I know are a result of his double minded nature but it left me in a different place which I will explain later. Such things were said as he does not miss me (as a friend or as a wife) and that he does not think of me as his wife anymore and that the only reason he hasn’t filed for divorce is because he is lazy about it. (Mind you these are all direct contractions to things he has previously/recently said – ahh poor double-mindedness).

So I say allllll of this to say that I think maybe I should set up a boundary to stop our sexual interactions. I don’t really want to for obvious reasons of need and also because I do SOMETIMES feel close to him during the act. But again I think I might be enabling. A resulting boundary would be that we could not meet at our house anymore because I know we would not be able to contain ourselves.

We talked about eliminating that part of our relationship. I talked about how our relationship is not even a friendship anymore for reasons such as the fact that I wouldn’t keep a friend who so often gives me a hard time when I need assistance with something, or someone who refused to do anything outside of the house with me. His response was that he acts like that with all his friends recently and that if we stopped having sex that our friendship would be better. Then yesterday he text me something fresh – if you get my drift. I’m sure you do but I guess he didn’t.

So now besides my above questions I have one burning underlying question which has to do with forgiveness to an extent.

More background information is needed… (sorry)

When K and I first started dating I was very aloof, strong, carefree and not easily effected by him. I find myself – after our blow out – returning back to that girl. Still holding on to all the growth I have made but starting to care less about what he does and doesn’t do, what he says and doesn’t say. I just don’t care. I think this is good. But the problem is where it comes from. It comes from this place of being fed up and to a degree the hurt I felt from hearing the things he said to me. I am still pleasant but I don’t return all of his texts and I’m not so eager to call him just so that I can say that we talked for the day. I am also not eager to do for him or to tell him things or to ask him for assistance – in fact I don’t plan to ask him for help on anything anymore unless there really is no other way. It feels good. But I also worry if this comes out of anger and unforgiveness. I still feel bad for him, pray for him and understand that he is under the influence of unbridled flesh and evil spirits. But I am also done with being so concerned and making it my priority to keep us connected. I’ll let God do that if He wants to. Otherwise I’ll just do the dares and that’s it.

So if anyone made it through reading ALL of that – lol – What do you think?

Day 24 - Love is Faithful

beforethevows — Wed, 15 May 2013 12:12:00 GMT

Day 24. How ironic this should be the title of today's dare. I can’t even really talk about it yet. He told me yesterday he thinks I’m smothering him. I finally confronted him about the email I saw that he sent to another girl a few months ago, telling her how into her he is. How pretty she is, how amazing. He says my actions these last couple weeks are smothering him, that I’m doing too much. Just gonna pray today. I don’t know what else to do.

Orphan Justice: How to Care for Orphans Beyond Adopting by Johnny Carr

ChrisCowan — Wed, 15 May 2013 08:13:00 GMT

"Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world" (James 2:27).

Christians are clearly called to care for orphans, a group so close to the heart of Jesus. In reality, most of the 153 million orphaned and vulnerable children in the world do not need to be adopted, and not everyone needs to become an adoptive parent. However, there are other very important ways to help beyond adoption.

Indeed, caring for orphaned and vulnerable children requires us to care about related issues from child trafficking and HIV/AIDS to racism and poverty. Too often, we only discuss or theologize the issues, relegating the responsibility to governments. No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. Based on his own personal journey toward pure religion, Johnny Carr moves readers from talking about global orphan care to actually doing something about it in Orphan Justice: How to Care for Orphans Beyond Adopting.

Combining biblical truth with the latest research, this inspiring book:

• investigates the orphan care and adoption movement in the U.S. today
• examines new data on the needs of orphaned and vulnerable children
• connects “liberal issues” together as critical aspects or orphan care
• discovers the role of the church worldwide in meeting these needs
• develops a tangible, sustainable action plan using worldwide partnerships
• fleshes out the why, what, and how of global orphan care
• offers practical steps to getting involved and making a difference

Download the introduction and chapter 1.

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DavidSchrader — Tue, 14 May 2013 19:02:00 GMT

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Day 34 and 35

foreverhopefull — Tue, 14 May 2013 16:33:44 GMT

So for yesterday's dare, I thanked him for being present for our boys dedication. He didnt have much to say other than he didnt really want to be there. For today's dare, I actually have us on a waiting list to go back to counseling. Although he has not mentioned anything, I feel he might be getting a little closer again. We went shopping last night just the two of us. When we came home, we were intimate, my initiation of course. We watched our shows together an and some point in the night, he actually asked me to snuggle with him! It's been about a week since he's done that. He did make rude comments yesterday. He put his ring back on but let me know it was so I would get off his back about it. He seemed very angry about the whole thing. I am really feeling Gods presence lately, so that is comforting. I prayed about his ring and he is the one who put it back on. He could have just kept it off and I would have to deal with it. I see that as a good sign. There have been a lot of little good signs lately, but there also have been negative things that he says too. He stated it would be so much easier if he didnt have to deal with the kids for a whole week at a time every other week. That's what he thinks will happen if he leaves me. I'll just stay in constant prayer for comfort and guidance

Day 23 - Love Always Protects

beforethevows — Tue, 14 May 2013 11:38:00 GMT

I had to pray on this dare again today, a lot; getting rid of something that steals my heart and attention from my boyfriend. On the one hand, there’s not too much I feel like I can do right now as we are still across the country from each other, but I feel like it’s a good idea to get in the practice now of what I want to change, so by the time he returns next week I will be more able to give him the time and love he deserves. Other than my 8-5 (which being pretty much the sole supporter of this house is not changing anytime soon), I was having a hard time figuring out what to cut out. When he moved in I cut back a lot of my hours at the gym (I used to go 6 days a week, when he’s home I go only 2 or 3, and usually only when I know he is doing something for school for a few hours and won’t talk to me). I also teach at that gym from time to time, but I’ve cut back my hours on that to just being on call so that I can choose to go in or not, and most times I choose not to. The only answer God gave me was my phone. A lot of times during dinner or after instead of talking to him I’m replying to emails or text messages from friends or doing the whole social media thing. I would still like him to start running with me after dinner (or even going for walks with me since the weather is so nice and he keeps saying he wants to get back in shape), but he made it pretty clear before he left he has no desire to work out with me by his side, he’d rather do it alone. I also brought up reading the bible together since he’s read it a few times and I’m still muddling my way through my first journey with it. He says he wants to. Rather than following what’s going on with my friends lives after work, I am going to start putting my phone away as soon as I get home from work so that I can really spend time listening to my boyfriend tell me about his day with my full attention. He deserves that.

Day 33 - Love Completes

Bryan — Tue, 14 May 2013 04:43:14 GMT

I have so lost my focus for doing the dares. I am on this site reading and lurking everyday, but have not been doing what I should have been. This 40 day journey has taken me over 2 months to get to this point. The reasons, no not reasons, excuses I could list would be long, but it all comes down to me wanting to do them. Or as stated in my last post, being afraid to do them.

Dare 33. Love completes. This is most certainly true. My wife completes me in so many ways, but she has chosen to live apart from me. This is a reality I need to accept. God can make me whole. I just need to put him first and foremost in everything that I do. If I do this good thing will start to happen. So for now my love will have to function on it own

As for discussing decisions she has made it pretty clear that I am on my own as far as financial or personal decisions are concerned. So I commit them to prayer and discuss with friends and/or family. Current;y what I mulling over may bring me closer spiritually and physically. It may be a selfish want, but it is also along the lines of doing something that interests me, which has been a statement that my wife has said I need to do. So it is all committed to the Lord for the guidance on making the decision that best allows me to follow his will so that I may walk in his way.

Desperate

Dynamik1 — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:00:31 GMT

I love my wife. We met through nothing less than Divine circumstances and our engagement felt Divinely directed as well. After marrying, 8 years ago we've struggled with many adversities - difficult child-births, job loss, death of a parent, foreclosure, auto repossessions and we're now at the point where my wife is burned out by me. I've got bad skills when it comes to fighting, disagreeing, anger, shouting, etc. She's told me these things over and over, yet I didnt take heed because I thought these things were just differences in how we resolved conflict - not willing to admit that my way was flawed or broken. We had a physical altercation last Summer that has left a scar on her heart. Last week she left home and took our children to her parent's house. She would still be there were it not for a house-guest that was planned for this week. When she was gone I was devastated. Heart broken. Am completely willing to do whatever it would take to prevent her from divorcing me, to get her heart re-engaged and to honor and cherish her the way she deserves.

We had an initial visit with our Pastor of Marriage and Counseling last Weds. He referred us to a marriage counselor that we saw on Friday. The marriage counselor declined to do couple's counseling because she felt the situation was too volatile (I was very upset) - she referred me to a male counselor and recommended that I get medically evaluated for depression/anxiety. Today (Monday) I saw my family doctor who evaluated me and is doing labwork to assess testosterone and thyroid levels. Most likely we'll treat my anger and impulsivity with an anti-depressant. Keep us in your prayers.

The Tough Stuff

Rick H — Mon, 13 May 2013 15:40:48 GMT

It’s been a few weeks since I have written a journal. My granddaughter, who was born right in the middle of me writing my last entry, is still in the hospital. She had a birth defect that required surgery but she is now recovering nicely. I still haven’t been able to visit in person and that is probably in some ways a bi-product of my marriage as my wife had already been banned from seeing the grandchild by both my son and his mother, my ex-wife. Not that it would matter to her. She is not even aware the child has been born so far as I know, at least she hasn’t mentioned it to me. The extent of our contact has been a couple of highly manipulative phone calls that mostly have revolved around money and how “unhappy” she is. Of course, she hasn’t mentioned her new relationship and the man she’s known less than 6 months who is traveling Europe with her for 2 weeks.

We are at the ugly part of separation divorce now and it is the financial end. To clarify, my wife planned our split for over 2 years to coincide with the selling of our house here in Virginia. During those two years, in addition to taking up with at least 5 men in one way or another, she also paid off her home in Florida with money she saved from modeling jobs while I held the fort down in VA as well as rentals that I handled the contracting and legal end of. During the last years she also put money away to the tune of $60,000 while I struggled to barely meet my end of the home mortgage and expenses. When we sold the VA home I was financially devastated and had to borrow 3,000 from my 85 year old father to get in this townhouse which she encouraged me to get and which I am now stuck with for another year after she left.

Despite these very apparent inequities and the fact that she earns about 40% more money per year than I, I have struggled mightily with the decision process regarding finances should divorce occur, as now seems almost inevitable. The decision to force her to pay a settlement goes against my nature and it has been one that I have spent hours in prayer and contemplation about. Money just seems so ugly in the middle of this, yet we still must maintain awareness of how today’s decisions affect tomorrow.

God found ways to answer my prayers, usually by making me aware that this woman has already moved on to a new life and had pretty much done so long before that house was sold. God has found ways, sometimes as small as a phrase she uses that tells me it doesn’t come from her but rather from the boyfriend, a CEO business type. For example, when a few days ago I was trying to set up a time to meet and give her some mail, she mentioned that she would “touch base” tomorrow. My wife never uses terms like that, but her boyfriend does, he’s a computer guy so he’s big on short business like phrases. One thing I have learned about my wife and her “friends” is that she can’t help sharing the good news of them, even with her husband. When she was seeing the Englishman, she was making a big deal out of the fact that London was THE place to see the Rolling Stones. When she had the Italian boyfriend she asked me what a count’s wife would be called, mentioning that her Italian ex-boyfriend was a count (of course, I didn’t realize that he was also her current boyfriend at the time). One of the amazing things about her is that even after the sins committed in darkness are brought into the light, she still refuses to admit to them yet continues to give her own evidence of them.

God found ways to make His will known. Judgment is reserved for Him, justice is of the world. We have the civil law system and God created that as well. Ultimately, and after literally hours upon hours of prayer, I decided to ask for a settlement. It is a more than fair settlement after 13 years of marriage. Needless to say, my wife disagrees. It was an excruciatingly difficult decision because the flesh wanted to believe my wife when she said she might stay if I didn’t ask for anything. It was the flesh that wanted me to believe and the Spirit that told me not to. It was the Spirit that moved me to realize that the Lord wants justice here in our lives and that my wife had to see some consequences of her actions here. I know there are some who will disagree with my actions and that is OK. I feel comfortable with it in the Lord and I have done everything with as much compassion as possible ALWAYS making it very clear that I still love my wife and my first choice is ALWAYS that our marriage be restored.

In a recent thread, someone mentioned that their wanting the divorce spouse had stated that they hoped the person would find a nice Christian wife/ husband. Many people jumped in and related that they had heard the same thing or similar, then someone said how the enemy is not very original. That is so true, so here’s another one I have heard on a fairly regular basis and I am betting others here have as well. “You are using your faith against me!” You can substitute religion or whatever for faith, but I’m betting many have heard something similar, perhaps followed by the accusation that your faith is not real, only a temporary condition designed to make the other feel guilty about their actions when in fact you are the one responsible for their actions in a roundabout way. Some shortcoming or slight that you have is actually behind the terrible thing that they have done. It’s YOUR fault! Christ deals with blame shifting in Luke 2:41-52. When his mother accuses him of being responsible for her worry when the young Jesus disappears into the temple, he refuses to accept the blame, instead chastising her a little for not realizing that he would be in His Father’s house. Then he goes home with his parents however, so He says no to blame shifting, but yes to obedience and love for his earthly parents.

These are all very fine lines to walk and I would not wish having to do so upon anyone, but there comes a time when the truth must be dealt with. Christ does not want us to shrink from that. He does want us to show compassion and love in all that we do. In His world, our world, you can be serving someone at the same time you are telling the truth about their sin. Telling is not judging. If you see a man shot another man and say “he shot him”, that is not judging, despite what the enemy would have you believe. That is dealing with what is. Love the sinner, hate the sin. It’s really pretty simple instruction. Deal with the world as it is, always speak the truth, try to change things with love and compassion ONLY.. Easy to say, difficult to put into action.

Nothing will happen unless she files for divorce or forces the separation agreement. I will still be praying for His will in her life and our marriage, still asking for her heart to change, but accepting His will and realizing that her willfulness can overcome His will, at least for the time He allows it. I will be praying that when the moments between us come I can have the courage to be truthful and lead my heart to the compassion to show love that is not returned. Pray for me, friends, and praise Him for being my comfort in this most difficult, but ultimately most rewarding journey with my Lord and Savior.

Day 33 round 2

foreverhopefull — Mon, 13 May 2013 15:21:59 GMT

After reading replies from the last few days, I realize I may be too pushy with throwing myself at my husband. He is still distant, but I felt a teeny bit closer to him yesterday. He did go on stage with us at church and was even the one to introduce us. Immediately after we were done he went to the lobby to read. I just have to be glad he even went. Then later he tried different things on that fit him now since he lot weight and he asked what I thought of some of the clothes. Then at his parents, he included me in conversations with him and his brother. He actually didnt seem annoyed with me. On the way home, he asked if I wanted to get dessert and coffee once we dropped kids off at home. At the restaurant he played on his phone most of the time, but I didn't feel too ignored. We finished te evening off laying on the bed playing games and talking. But, he went to living room while I slept and when he finally came to bed, he went to his side like usual. I made sure not to ask for snuggles. I will work on giving him his space today and to stay in prayer. I had moments of peace yesterday while thinking, he may leave me, but I have God. I hope this is not the case, but I have no control over that.

Day 22 - Love is Faithful

beforethevows — Mon, 13 May 2013 11:48:00 GMT

Compared to the last few days, this one was a lot easier for me than some of the others recently. Unfortunately we didn’t talk on the phone once yesterday. When I did get a chance to sort of talk with him over text, he was at his brothers playing video games. I didn’t remind him I had asked him to call me earlier in the day so I could hear his voice. I figured that would be too much pushing or manipulating of the dare (or maybe not?). Either way, we did have a sorta nice chat via text message. And I told him that way, that I love him, no matter what, always. It’s funny how over the last couple weeks my idea of what unconditional love really is has started to change. While praying before bed last night I asked myself, what if he was unfaithful again? What if I found out about more lies down the road? And I would still love him. I will always love him. I prayed for God to help take that fear out of my heart, to trust fully in His plan for me and my relationship. I can’t change my boyfriend. That’s between him and God. If there is more, than I know it’s because God knows I can handle it. With Him all things are possible, no matter what. I read a quote the other day about how when life knocks you to your knees you’re in a perfect position to pray. This really struck home for me. How long have I spent trying to get myself back up in the past without that help? No matter what fears I may have, how bad the day may be, or whatever may happen with my relationship, I am so thankful I was lead down this road to a relationship with my faith. It only took 28 years to get there, but I’m so glad the time is now.

Book Giveaway: Manhood Restored by Eric Mason

ChrisCowan — Mon, 13 May 2013 09:16:00 GMT

This week's giveaway is Manhood Restored: How the Gospel Makes Men Whole by Eric Mason.

To enter the giveaway, follow @BHAcademic on Twitter and send the following tweet from your account by Wednesday, May 22 (by 11:59 p.m. Eastern Time): Win a copy of Eric Mason's "Manhood Restored" from @BHAcademic http://ht.ly/kG3Uv

We will pick 1 random winner to receive a hard copy of the book. Be sure to follow @BHAcademic on Twitter so we can DM you to obtain your mailing address. Winners will be announced on the blog and notified within seven days.

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Must be 18 years or older, and a resident of the US. See complete rules HERE.

Day 32

foreverhopefull — Sun, 12 May 2013 18:27:29 GMT

Boy did this one take some work. He was in a mood and I was being so nice to him. He said he feels bad when I cater to him because he has no desire to e nice to me, in fact he said he said it is difficult to be nice to me. He seemed like he was on the verge of telling me we're done last night. I kept trying, and ended up seducing him. It was all of just him getting pleasures which I was okay with. I then have him a foot and a back rub. We laid and played games on our phone and he turned over and went to sleep. He doesn't want me near him at night now. Just a week ago, however, he would hold me every night. I don't know what is going on in his head, but I am in constant prayer about it. I miss my husband so much. I know the only way we will ever be truly happy is if is through Christ. He reassures me that is not going to happen. He said this morning he is dreading getting the kids dedicated. He doesn't want to be on stage. He said he couldn't care less if our kids ended up following Christ. I am also in constant prayer for strength to do what God wants me to do.

Rnd 3 Day 37 Love agrees in Prayer

kpransom — Sun, 12 May 2013 13:59:30 GMT

Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it's in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don't forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.

This dare presented itself when i was rubbing my wife's back. She always wanted to pray together but before this praying together was not a priorty for me. Before starting these dares praying was not a priory period. As I draw closer to Christ. My desire to pray increases every day. Desiring to pray with my wife even more. Praise God for His mercies and grace that we are His children and He corrects those whom He loves. I was amazed at what my wife prayed to the Lord about. I am beginning to realize the power of prayer together. It says in God's Word if two or more are gathered in my name there I am in the midst of them Matt 18:20. The Holy Spirit speaks through the people in your life. He spoke through her through prayer and that is definately a blessing.

Day 21 - Love is Satisfied in God

beforethevows — Sun, 12 May 2013 13:15:00 GMT

So, the bible reading plan I’ve been doing since I started the LD has me reading one chapter a day in Chronological order, then either a psalm or proverb and then spending at least 5 minutes praying on the meaning of what I’ve read. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that you don’t HAVE to read the bible in order. Or that I should at least start with the New Testament rather than the old. But I have a hard time with jumping around. I’m one of those that likes to read in order, who likes to know the all the back story, so I found a plan that lets me do this (and I can track what I’ve read on my phone, plus one for technology here).

Yesterday when I got up I read my chapter, and found myself returning to Psalm 91. It’s the very first Psalm I ever read, and was passed on to me a few years ago by a friend who thought it would bring me comfort as I was dating a police officer at the time. Every time I read it, I feel God’s love. I visualize angels. It is always my go to Psalm when I need a little encouragement. When my boyfriend was still overseas and we first started talking I also learned that it was his favorite (and a favorite of most of the military). We don’t read the bible as often together as I would like. But we have both discussed this Psalm in length, read it together several times. It’s even framed on my wall.

I felt so good after that I kept reading. I asked God to guide me to what I needed, closed my eyes opened my bible, and the first passage I came to was this. “You pushed me violently that I might fall, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and song and He has become my salvation.” (I’m still new at the bible reading thing, so I don’t know how to do the little quote thing right where it tells you what book and chapter this is, but it’s Psalm 118). And it fit. It was exactly what I needed to read. Suddenly I didn’t feel so hopeless about having to complete so much of this a country apart from my guy. The Lord will lead me through it. He will help me. He is my strength. And He will help me complete the dares to the best of my ability if I just pray on them.

Realisation

foreverlearning — Sun, 12 May 2013 10:14:47 GMT

I've realised I didn't handle the other night very well when my husband and I had a fight. When it occured, when I realised I was getting upset I walked away and hopped in the shower. I had walked away to try to settle myself down but then my husband followed me. He wanted to talk about it and I told him I needed time to calm down. He wouldn't leave and then I exploded a bit, then he left me to settle down. When I went to our room he wanted to talk again he wouldn't leave me be so then up it came again. I cried and cried and cried. In the end he said he finally understood what I had been saying. Now I'm thinking there has to be a better way to sort things out. When we're at home I go for a drive and have some time alone with God. I can be gone for a few hours but when I return home I'm usually refreshed and see things in a different light. Sometimes though it isn't possible to do this. My dad used to do it to when he'ld argue with Mum. Off he'ld trot walking around town then he'ld return after a while. I'll have to pray about what to do.

On a different note today I took our kiddies to a church out here where my husband works. It was really lovely, very homely. It's actually held in a house that's been renovated. The denomination was the same as the one we had been attending. The children enjoyed it too. It's nice to know that if we do happen to move here we have a church already sorted. The people are really friendly and I had a good talk with the pastor. One of my husbands workmates goes there too.

Frustrated, Sad, and discouraged

foreverhopefull — Sat, 11 May 2013 23:01:47 GMT

I am feeling so lost right now. I know that this journey is about me and Christ, however it has been very frustrating dealing with the distance my husband has created once again. I have been trying to stay strong with the dares, but sometimes I lack. I mentioned me getting put on his credit card once again, and he this time, instead of saying he'll take care of it, he said he'd rather me not on it. When I asked him why, he didn't really have a reason. Another frustrating thing, is he keeps forgetting to put his ring back on after his workout. I asked him if he didn't wear it intentionally, but he claims sometimes he forgets and other times he does not want to put it on. He said it's easy to forget about it because it is not important to him. He got really defensive and didn't want to talk about it. Then he asked to leave to go read. I just bawled my eyes out to God for a good 20 minutes. I feel such despair. I am starting to lose hope in this marriage. He, just four weeks ago was so happy that I didn't give up on us and thanked me. He even said he would have regretted it if he left. But now, he is confused once again, and doesn't think he wants to be here. He agreed to go back to counseling, and even is willing to go to individual counseling. I get nervous because he does not want Christian counseling, so I do not know if they will be big supporters of marriage. I told God that I am letting go, but I still cannot help but feel so sad. I really want my marriage to work, as I feel God does too. I am just tired of the emotional abuse from him. He tells me about other girls in his workout class being hot, he jokes about wanting a divorce, he hates his life, he mocks my relationship with Christ. Anytime he is an obvious jerk to me and I ask him not to disrespect me like that, he says "Why don't you go pray about it then". Tomorrow we are getting our two little ones dedicated in church. He made sure to let me know that as soon as that is done, he will be going back out to the lobby to get coffee and read and will not stay for service. What a hypocrite. Can I please get some positive feedback from once seemed like a hopeless marriage. I need some guidance. I am struggling deeply right now.

Day 20 - Love is Jesus Christ, and a lot of tears

beforethevows — Sat, 11 May 2013 21:10:00 GMT

So Day 20, for lack of a better term, it emotionally exhausted me. I started talking and apologizing to God, and then I started crying and I couldn’t stop for a long time. I’m seeing it as a blessing. That I am really beginning to see the path in front of me as He has laid it out. I was so caught up in apologizing and confessing how imperfect I am that I wound up emailing my boyfriend too since he’s still gone and was asleep before his big VA Benefit thing today. The whole thing is too long and personal to post here, but I apologized for my faults over the course in the yearish plus of our relationship. For sometimes being sarcastic, or disrespectful or even just rolling my eyes. I don’t think he’s had internet access to check it yet, nor will I tell him about it. I know that he will come across that little email when it’s the right time.

Otherwise, honestly, I’m having a hard time with him being gone. I always do. I’m praying to God a lot to help guide me and keep me strong over this next week plus. I’m also doing a lot of praying (ok more like begging is how it feels) to let me heal, to forgive, to let go of any past transgressions on my guys part and to take each day as a new start. I can only accomplish this with God’s help. So today more prayers, more bible reading, and probably more tears, but I have faith that I am on the right path; I will be the light, the testament, and I am doing it for me. Because it’s about time.

WOW!!!!

TOBaby — Sat, 11 May 2013 20:14:23 GMT

Hello All

I have been absent from this website for some time as my life has been busy and full- that is a good thing. I am currently on day 14. Day 13 and day 14 are a little difficult to fulfill only because of logistics. We don't spend much physical time together and I don't think we are where we can discuss the rules of fighting yet. However something amazing happened. And It was truly all GOD. Last weekend we were out of town for a friend's 40th birthday celebration. On the evening of the party my hubby and I went out to dinner by ourselves prior to the celebration. Everything had been going well. We were having a nice dinner and then the conversation became a little emotional. There were negative things I wanted to say as a reaction or defense to what I was hearing but I chose to remain silent. At one point I became teary eyed and emotional. I excused myself to go to the bathroom to try and settle myself down. While there I prayed to GOD that I not react bitterly and that HIS will be my acceptance-whatever it may be. I was able to compose myself and the rest of the evening went well. That evening my husband reached for me in bed. It was the first time in nearly two years that we were intimate. I know it was my prayer to GOD and my choosing HIS way over mine and instead of trying to make my own path. I am seeing amazing work in myself and my husband and our relationship. I am so grateful for GOD's love and patience and my ability to realize that HE is with me always. HE will not abandon me and if I listen to HIM first I will find peace with myself and my decisions and my relationships. Interestingly I've also not been overeating and binging on junkfood. It seems as though my mind and body are finally working together towards the same goal and not against each other and without much effort or thought. I know this too is GOD's work in me. I hope to report more steps of my journey soon. I pray for all of you out there in need of peace and love.

May all the mother's out there have a wonderful, blessed and beautiful day.

Just starting - may be be too little too late

Hopefuture — Sat, 11 May 2013 13:55:15 GMT

I'm just starting the love dare journey. My husband moved out over 7 months ago and filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. I've forgiven him for leaving and recently been convicted of my part of the damage to our marriage. I'm so very open, and always have been, to doing the work to fix us, but he says he's happier since he left and he just doesn't care enough to fix it. He said he realizes he is also at fault for not communicating frustrations and let it go too long to the pint that he didn't care anymore. I would do anything to have him back and start completely over to learn a healthy relationship with him. I'm afraid realizing what I'd do different now is just too late b/c he's so very done. I believe god can restore us, I just don't know he's open to what god wants or can do. I'm doing the dare with great hopes he comes home, but if not that it teaches me to love unconditionally while getting/expecting nothing in return. I hope others will pray for me and him and for miraculous restoration of the marriage and a new heart w/in each of us.

A question I have though, and that really held me back from doing this, is how do I do a lot of these dares when the only time I see him is to exchange the kids and he doesn't live in the home and he has no desire to be around me or receive anything from me? I'm only on day 2, but already stumped with how to do something kind from another home that doesn't seem pushy to him or push him away or make this all about looking like I'm just doing it to get him back.

Rnd 3 Day 36 Love is God's Word

kpransom — Sat, 11 May 2013 13:50:06 GMT

Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.

I have been reading a daily reading of the bible in general and some writings by Spurgeon as a daily devotion. Also, a daily teaching about the grace of God. All very helpful in solidifying my walk with Christ. I had an opportunity to share Christ with a neighbor. I wouldn't even have had the alertness if I didn't do the devotionals. It puts my life in the proper perspective as to what is important in this life. I express a desire to read and stduy the bible together but she still seemed hesistant. I can't really gauge her emotional state as she is still in much pain. I do pray for her and with her about this when the opportunity arises. She is not herself when she is in pain. One positive of this is I get to spend more time with her. Normally, she doesn't come until early evening and then only a few short hours before I have to go to bed.

Rnd 3 Day Love Dare Day 35 Love is accountable

kpransom — Sat, 11 May 2013 13:38:33 GMT

Find a marriage mentor - someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.

Although I am still seeing a counselor. I still haven't found a marriage mentor. Time hasn't really given an opportunity thus far. So I have to make this a priority since this is the third time around for this dare. My counselor said that I am making good progress. He suggested that I do a check up with my wife as to how we are doing. We used to do this before by taking a night out just to talk. Unfortunately, I allowed other things to take priority. This is also what happened with Christ as I put other things before Him and this is the result. Rebuilding my relationship with Him as well as with my wife. It is still a day by day process. One that is easy to get complacent about if I am not diligent in seeking Him everyday.

Rnd 3 Day 34 Love celebrates Godliness

kpransom — Sat, 11 May 2013 13:34:50 GMT

Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.

Despite my wife's pain she still committed herself to do a testimony about what God had done in her life. She has a anal fissure and it is very painful for her to stand for long periods of time and the mornings are excrutiating. She is definately an inspiration and I told her so. She said she appreciated it but could I pray to take the pain away. I believe we are both learning a lesson during this time. My to minister to her. She to find confort in the Lord.

Let Down

foreverlearning — Sat, 11 May 2013 09:33:49 GMT

Well it's looking again like we won't be able to move out here with my husband. Things have happened with his work that could change his employment conditions there. He thinks we should leave it and see how it all pans out. I do feel disappointed as we thought it was going to happen. Sean's words pop in that maybe God still doesn't want us to yet. Maybe we both have more growing to do. I have noticed that my husband drinks nightly. Only a couple but he still does. It's a very big part of him just like his work is. He even sleeps with the phone in his hand as he's on call 24 hrs a day.

I know I need to keep the focus on my journey and keep doing the next best thing. I really am the only one responsible for our children. He hardly has anything to do with them at all.

Devotional for today...

Missy is Faithful 2013 — Fri, 10 May 2013 18:55:00 GMT

Day 24 - Lust

arap926 — Fri, 10 May 2013 13:47:38 GMT

I’m not sure that I really lust over anything. My greatest desire is more of my husband. If you could say I lust over dinners with him, going to the movies, cuddling then I guess those are lusts.

I guess in his absence I have been lusting after things to fill the void. Yes, God has been my first and foremost but I have this obsession with fixing the house that we were supposed to be working on together. Or new clothes to make me feel better about myself. Or partaking in any and every activity that I have listed on my bucketlist. Part of this is bettering myself but I guess part of it is lust as well. Is it wrong that I want to fill my life up with activities to fill the void?

On another note - my exboyfriend found out about my situation. Well he thinks I am getting a divorce. This scares/worries me. He is not the best person. Please pray for me in this area. Thanks friends!

Days 18 & 19

beforethevows — Fri, 10 May 2013 11:44:00 GMT

Days 18 and 19 have fallen at the perfect time. It’s little things like this that really convince me that I started this exactly when God knew the time was right and I was ready to follow His path.

Day 18 didn’t go quite as planned. It was the day before my boyfriend left town. Work was slow so I decided to leave early and come home and surprise him. The look of happiness on his face when he saw me pull up early filled me with joy. I spent the rest of my day helping him pack and get ready to spend the next two weeks back home. Unfortunately, I was so worn out after all of that, that I fell asleep on the couch and he wound up making dinner. Later that night in bed however, he brought up a lot of the topics in the book all on his own. We stayed up late talking and holding hands and enjoying eachothers company. Some of what he said I already knew, some I didn’t. It was nice to just be able to talk and kind of get “reacquainted” with what a good man he really is deep down. I really want to go for round 2 of the LD already just so I can do this dare as it says in the book. I guess that means God feels like I need to learn all of this at least twice.

Day 19….another mind blowing kind of day. I reread the chapter a few times as well as the appendixes about leading my heart and praying. I also reread my entries on here over the last few days. I see a lot of progress there. But at the same time, I want to make sure I don’t lose sight of anything I’ve learned either. This isn’t just something to do for 40 days and forget. It’s about building habits. It’s about staying steady in my talks with God and not forgetting to pray. Normally I’m quiet when I pray. I just kind of close my eyes and visualize what I’m saying. Last night I felt the call to speak out loud. I asked God to forgive me for not seeking Him sooner. For not being perfect, for faltering along this path sometimes. For not always loving as purely and unselfishly and unconditionally as He does. I asked him to help me stay on the path, and to guide me in completing the remaining weeks of these dares a country apart from my boyfriend. I was overcome by such a feeling of peace and love and light that I KNOW he was listening.

Can we still believe in demons today? Clinton Arnold answers

ChrisCowan — Fri, 10 May 2013 09:29:00 GMT

Can we still believe in demons today?
Clinton Arnold

Many modern scholars regard belief in demons as a primitive worldview that includes elves, dragons, and a flat world. They contend that the advent of modern science, especially advances in understanding body chemistry, psychology, and neurology, enables better understanding of the phenomena the ancients attributed to the work of demons.

Skepticism about the existence of angels and demons is at odds with the direct and explicit testimony of Scripture. From the Garden of Eden in Genesis to Satan’s doom in Revelation, the pages of Scripture are filled with references to evil super- natural beings who oppose God and His purposes. Their frequency of appearance actually heightens during the ministry of Jesus and the apostles. In fact, we learn most about their nature, character, and activities from Jesus and Paul.

Beside the biblical assumption of demonic reality, other matters must be considered:

Science is inherently incapable of answering this question. Some critics grant science authority to make judgments on issues it is incapable of judging. Just as science is incompetent to adjudicate on morality, so it is also beyond its jurisdiction in trying to decide the question of demonic existence. Science seeks to describe and explain natural phenomena. There is no reason to assume it has power to answer questions regarding the supernatural, such as whether these beings exist.

Purely naturalistic explanations are not adequate for describing many forms of evil in the world. Although the impact of sin on the human soul explains much of the proliferation of evil, some situations are still so abhorrent or inexplicable that they suggest a demonic origin. The horrors of an Auschwitz or of a mother roasting her own child to death imply a powerful force leading humanity to destruction.

Some therapeutic situations are best explained by the work of a spirit being. While it is true that symptoms produced by schizophrenia, dissociation, and other psychological and chemical disorders have often been wrongly attributed to demons, some conditions are best explained by the direct influence of a spirit entity. The international community of mental health professionals recognizes this and labels it “Trance and Possession Disorder,” an especially common diagnosis in non-Western cultures.

We need to learn from the broader sweep of human history and cultures. The last 300 years in Western history represent the only time when the existence of evil spirits has been viewed with widespread skepticism. Furthermore, an exploration of other cultures throughout Asia, Africa, the Pacific Islands, and elsewhere reveals that belief in evil spirits continues to be integral to the worldview of many people groups.

Belief in the reality of evil spirits need not lead to uncritical or unwarranted beliefs about demons nor the bizarre and dangerous practices of extremist individuals and groups. Our task should be to integrate this more complete view of reality into our functional worldview with constant sensitivity to biblical teaching on this topic. At the beginning of The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis warned that we can err in two ways as regards the devil. We can fail to take account of him or we can give him too much attention.
_____________

Clinton E. Arnold is Dean and Professor of New Testament Language and Literature at Talbot School of Theology.

B&H Names Amanda Sloan Acting Vice President of Marketing

DavidSchrader — Thu, 09 May 2013 22:44:00 GMT

NASHVILLE, Tenn., 5/09/2013 – B&H Publishing Group president Selma Wilson has named Amanda Sloan acting vice president of Marketing. Mary Katharine Hunt, who previously held the position, will join Justice and Mercy International as executive director of Operations on June 1.

Sloan came to B&H as marketing manager of Trade Books in 2010 and has helped lead promotion efforts on New York Times best sellers The Vow (Kim and Krickitt Carpenter), The Resolution for Men (Stephen and Alex Kendrick), The Resolution for Women (Priscilla Shirer), and Reshaping It All (Candace Cameron Bure). Prior to that she was national marketing manager for B&H parent company LifeWay Christian Resources’ stores division. She holds an MBA in Marketing with an emphasis on brand management from Vanderbilt University.

“I am so grateful for Amanda and the excellent work she has already done in marketing for B&H,” said Wilson. “Our executive staff so appreciates her accepting this role on our team in this time of transition. We will miss Mary Katharine but know this new role is God’s perfect plan for her life.”

Hunt joined B&H in 2011 and spent twenty years combined at LifeWay Christian Resources. While at B&H she led the team’s Every Word Matters™ rebranding initiative, was instrumental in re-launching the B&H Kids imprint, and refocused the company’s day-to-day strategic marketing efforts for the digital age. A champion of overseas mission work in her personal life, Mary Katharine will remain based in Nashville with her new job but also travel regularly to other countries confronting global injustice.

B&H Publishing Group, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources, is a non-profit publisher made up of people who are passionate about taking God’s Word to the world. Because we believe Every Word Matters™, we seek to provide intentional, Bible-centered content that positively impacts the hearts and minds of people, inspiring them to build a lifelong relationship with Jesus Christ. Among our print and digital releases for the trade, church, and academic markets, titles include The New York Times No. 1 bestsellers The Love Dare and The Vow as well as the award-winning HCSB Study Bible.

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Day 23 - Protect (?) Should I continue on this way?

arap926 — Thu, 09 May 2013 15:57:49 GMT

What first stood out to me in today’s dare was that we are relationally disconnected. During my devotional time this morning I found myself crying out to God because I don’t know what to do at this point. Does God call me to just take what I can get from my husband? Nothing bad has happened between us but we haven’t been seeing each other to speaking very much lately. He cancels our Wedn “date” more often and for a while I was just sitting at home expecting Wedn to happen because it was a constant. So now I no longer wait around which makes it even harder to keep a connection bc we see each other so little. Our relationship has become so casual and with a lack of meaning. How do I relationally connect with my husband again? Should I address him about this? Is there some action I should be taking? I have given it all over to God and I have been fervently praying for direction but it is just not clear to me. I would like to suggest to my husband ways we could see each other more. I could meet him for lunch when he is between jobs or he could sleep over (or move back in!!). I fear his response and if I receive rejection in this area and he does not want to pursue that type of relationship what then? Can I tell him that I can’t continue such a casual relationship with him or continue taking what he is willing to give?

My own needs would be the only thing that could possibly be turning my heart from my husband but I don’t even think that is the case. Our lack of time together is the only thing stealing away my affections because it becomes so hard to express such physically.

10 days

Sean — Thu, 09 May 2013 11:38:08 GMT

I will be leaving for china tomorrow. And as you guys know it's is hard for me to get access to the site, but I will do all I can to get here daily. Just please if I fall behind understand. In fact it is always best to PM me if you want my direct response to something since that is the first thing I check.

I would also request prayer for safety since the new bird flu outbreak. Things have calmed down greatly and I don't fear... Also request for successful business while there.

Thank you guys and gals

Explanation

foreverlearning — Thu, 09 May 2013 08:22:48 GMT

I tried to answer Rick's letter on my last entry but the letter disappeared. Instead I'll just write it here.

I probably should have explained better that I've started a Mormon study called Becoming Spiritually Centered and Overcoming The World by James B. Cox. My mentor is a Mormon and she suggested that it may help me. I am enjoying it and the dares fit right in with it. The overall purpose of it is to help me become one with Christ and to

Learn how to make each day worthwhile regardless of what is happening in the world around me and to

Learn and practice the steps necessary to change my thought patterns to match the Saviors.

The self-worth letter came about from learning how to create high feelings of self-worth, the Savior's way. That was the lesson for me yesterday.

Todays was about feeling the Holy Spirit throughout the day so I'ld know I was in the straight and narrow path. The gist is that if I don't feel the Holy Spirit's guidance I am of the world again. It's very interesting.

ln the last few days I've been able to complete the dares and continue on with my own journey, while my husband continues on his. It seems to be working for us.

Fear is holding me back

Bryan — Wed, 08 May 2013 18:24:22 GMT

So hard for me to put these feelings into words, but my fears are holding me back

From Wikipedia: Fear is frequently related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable. It is worth noting that fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear can also be an instant reaction to something presently happening.

I have so many fears. I hope writing them our and sharing them will help me overcome them.

What if God's will is different then mine: Huge fear, Why would God not want my wife and I to be together anymore? From all I've been taught, from all I've read separation and divorce are not very well liked by Him, so why would he not heal our marriage and bring us back together?

The love I have for my wife will never be returned: I have learned so much from doing reading and doing these dares, and still have much to learn. I welcome the thought of my wife doing them on me, but unfortunately she is unwilling and unable to take this on at the moment.

Not able to live up to expectations: Part of my self-esteem issues. Have never felt I have been able to live up to every one's expectations of me. Not even sure what they are or were, but just feel I haven't met them.

Wrong decisions: Always fear that I will make a wrong decision and that it would be best if someone else made it.

Failure: Says it all

Not being needed: Again the statement says it all

Losing contact: Loneliness

As I write these out I realize that each and everyone one of them are interfering with my relationship with God and everyone else for that matter. I have to put them aside and make room in my heart for the Holy Spirit to work. These are major road blocks for the Lord, while not for him but for me. I've put them in His way and he is waiting on me to remove them. All I need to do is ask for his help with them.

All things are possible, but they are on His time and are done his way not mine.

B&H Named Publisher of the Year at 2013 SEPA Awards

DavidSchrader — Wed, 08 May 2013 16:51:00 GMT

NASHVILLE, Tenn., 5/08/2013 – B&H Publishing Group was named Publisher of the Year at the Spanish Evangelical Publishers Association (SEPA) Awards held this past weekend in Miami during Expolit 2013, an annual conference and expo designed to promote the growth of ministry and resources within Hispanic markets.

B&H also received the Book of the Year award for La Resolución para Hombres (The Resolution for Men) by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. Further, the Kendricks’ continuing bestseller El Desafío del Amor (The Love Dare) was awarded for selling more than 250,000 copies.

In addition, B&H was honored with bestseller awards in the following categories: Reference Books (Diccionario Bíblico Ilustrado Holman / Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary); Text Bibles (RVR 1960 Biblia para Regalos y Premios / RVR 1960 Gift & Award Bible); Specialty Bibles (RVR 1960 Biblia Letra Grande Tamaño Manual con Referencias / RVR 1960 Hand Size Giant Print Bible); and Study Bibles with Notes (Biblia de estudio Arco Iris / RVR 1960 Rainbow Study Bible).

“This is the first time we’ve received Publisher of the Year from SEPA, and we thank God for all seven of these honors. We love providing biblical resources for our Spanish-speaking brothers and sisters,” said B&H president Selma Wilson. “I am so proud of our team—their hard work, their commitment to excellence, and their passion for the gospel.”

On July 1 B&H will release Biblia del Pescador (RVR 1960 Fisher of Men Bible), a unique Bible that focuses on evangelism, discipleship, and ministry. Edited by pastor Luis Ángel Díaz-Pabón, president of the Global Missionary Society, its first print run will be among the largest for Bibles in B&H history.

SEPA, the Association of Christian Resources Providers (SEPA Spanish Evangelical Products Association) since its inception has served as a focal point in the evangelical publishing community and organizations to achieve dialogue, organize activities and events that promote the distribution of Christian resources. SEPA today plays an important role in promoting and expanding the participation of new publishers and new organizations to achieve greater impact in the lives of men and women with the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

B&H Publishing Group, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources, is a non-profit publisher made up of people who are passionate about taking God’s Word to the world. Because we believe Every Word Matters™, we seek to provide intentional, Bible-centered content that positively impacts the hearts and minds of people, inspiring them to build a lifelong relationship with Jesus Christ. Among our print and digital releases for the trade, church, and academic markets, titles include The New York Times No. 1 bestsellers The Love Dare and The Vow as well as the award-winning HCSB Study Bible.

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Day 17 - Love Promotes Intimacy

beforethevows — Wed, 08 May 2013 12:10:00 GMT

After our “fight” or whatever last night, things still seemed kind of off between us yesterday. He was quiet and sullen during dinner with my parents and seemed distracted, which isn’t like him at all, he’s usually great with my parents. I asked him a couple times what was wrong, but he kept saying he was ok. When we got home he seemed to relax and told me he just wanted to enjoy some time with me since he’s leaving tomorrow morning. We talked for a while. I apologized to him for the night before. I told him that I don’t want him to think things have changed and that he ever has to be afraid to talk to me about anything. That I love him, will always accept him for who he is and will always be there. It made my heart fill with joy to hear that he knows that, believes it, and to hear him say that I am still his best friend and know more about him, the real him than anyone else ever has.

The biggest eye opener of today was how much I shut off intimacy. How closed and guarded I have become with a lot of my thoughts and feelings since I found out he was unfaithful to me. It dealt me a blow at the time like nothing I have ever experienced. I still think about the day I found out sometimes. It still hurts, but with a lot of prayer and asking God to help me let go it has gotten a lot easier. But still, there needs to be more. I need to really be able to fully reopen my heart to him again if this is ever going to work. So my lunch break was spent praying, asking God to help me. To let me fully let those walls come back down. I will be continuing to pray for this, to open my heart fully not only to my boyfriend, but to Him.

A Good Day

foreverlearning — Wed, 08 May 2013 08:49:05 GMT

Todays been quite a good day. The thought I dwelt on I am developing HIGH feelings of self-worth. This is a big one for me. My usual day is normally spent being caught up with everyone else' s things. Today was different.

The first step towards this was I needed to see my worth as Jesus sees it. That I am a daughter of God. I wasn't sent here to prove my worth, but to determine which way I'll follow.

Remembering myself as God's daughter really helped me. Seeing others as God's daughters and sons was wonderful too.

This afternoon I took our children to the park. We have been going there the last few days. The other school children have been allowing our kiddies to play with them. Today the other kids were acting differently. Some were high school age others primary school. I watched from afar keeping a close eye on things. Sure enough, a fight broke out with some other people who turned up there. After my children were safe I walked down and it broke up. The other people took off and I checked to make sure they were all ok. Fortunately they were. To others looking on they would have looked like a group of thugs, to me they were God's children who needed help.

It's been another interesting day.

Carl F. H. Henry (Seven Summits Worth Climbing in Church History)

ChrisCowan — Wed, 08 May 2013 07:26:00 GMT

Carl F. H. Henry
Seven Summits Worth Climbing in Church History
by  Jason G. Duesing

“He is intellectually the most eminent of conservative theologians. I would say he’s been the professor and I’ve been the student.” So said Billy Graham reflecting upon the influence of Carl F. H. Henry (1913-2003). Like Philipp Melanchthon to Martin Luther, or Andrew Fuller to William Carey, with the passing of time the figures in history that built the theological infrastructure to support and defend an evangelical movement often fade from popular memory. Graham, Luther, Carey we know, but names like Carl F. H. Henry are not readily in view. Although unknown, Henry is not forgotten. Gregory Alan Thornbury’s latest work is quickly becoming one of the books to read this year. This is a welcomed and needed volume, for the perceptive Thornbury observes, “So it seems as though there may still be enough of us left who believe that Carl Henry, a key to evangelicalism’s past, may in fact be a cipher to its future.” What is it then that made Henry so effective in his day and thus worth reviewing now? Carl Trueman believes that one part of what made Henry remarkable was his “unerring ability to see the big picture, to focus on issues of real substance, and to communicate the significance of these issues to the theological public.” Henry saw this big picture first in his younger days as a journalist.

Carl Ferdinand Howard Henry was born to immigrant parents in January 1913 in Long Island, New York. Following the practices of American Episcopalianism, Henry ventured through confirmation at the age of twelve but later, in his words, abandoned “all that institutional religion could offer.” However, upon graduation from high school, Henry took a position at The Islip Press where he would meet one of the most important people to impact his life. Mrs. Mildred Christy “a white-haired, middle-aged lady” served as a secretary to the editor and would regularly tell Henry she was praying for him. On one occasion where Henry took the Lord’s name in vain, she expressed her hurt to Henry, and he felt it. “I knew she was a widow. What I did not know was that her teenage son, whom I apparently resembled, had recently died in California in a motorcycle accident. Nor did I know that she prayed God to give her a son in the ministry, or at least, in the Lord. What’s more she alerted two friends in Ohio—with whom as a teenager she had often sung gospel songs in churches and rescue missions—to put me, of all people, on their prayer list. To be on the prayer list of that triumvirate, of local believers like Martha Gorton, too, was like being at the mercy of an air assault.” Four years later, a persistent Mrs. Christy would offer Henry regular invitations to church and then finally to meet a special guest speaker. After a series of excuses and rebuffs, Henry finally agreed to meet the speaker, and the man both challenged Henry and answered the burdening questions of his heart. On June 10, 1933, Carl Henry trusted Christ.

After his conversion, Henry went to Wheaton College where he met his future wife, Helga, and continued working as a journalist. After marriage, he earned a degree from Northern Baptist Theological Seminary. While serving as a part of the founding faculty at Fuller Theological Seminary in California, he completed a Ph.D. from Boston University in philosophy. In 1947, Henry published The Uneasy Conscience of Modern Fundamentalism, a book Russell Moore terms, “perhaps the most important evangelical book of the twentieth century.” There, Henry critiqued retracting fundamentalism as well as social gospel liberalism and called for a “rediscovery of the revelational classic and the redemptive power of God, which shall lift our jaded culture to a level that gives significance again to human life.” So it is fitting to see a call for the rediscovery of Henry as really a call to rediscover the foundational principles of a God who makes himself known in his revealed Word. While at Fuller, Henry helped launch Christianity Today, an evangelical magazine designed to “take academic theology to the masses” and to give pastors an alternative to the more theologically liberal Christian Century magazine. Henry’s tenure with Christianity Today lasted until 1968 and saw the magazine circulate to over 160,000. After spending a year researching and writing abroad, Henry returned to various teaching posts but focused primarily on his majestic six volume God, Revelation, and Authority. What is more, while rightly seen as the premier twentieth century evangelical theologian, Carl Henry was also a Baptist by conviction and served his denomination in a similar supportive role during a time of controversy. Henry passed away in 2003.

Henry’s journalism background helped him tackle substantive and crucial theological issues in a way that not only left no doubt what he believed but also displayed how his beliefs came as the result of well-reasoned arguments. In response to the idea that one might believe in Jesus but not in the truthfulness of Scripture, Henry states, “The indispensability of personal faith in Christ in no way implies the dispensability of the Scriptures as the Word of God written; apart from Scripture, we can say nothing certain either about Jesus Christ or about the necessity of personal faith in him” (GR&A, 4.203). Here, Henry in long form expounds what he had since been articulating for evangelicals for some time, that “if evangelicalism is not defined on revelatory grounds, then it wasn’t worth the effort.” When asked how he would define evangelicalism theologically, Henry replied, “In 1 Corinthians 15:1-14, the indispensability of biblical theology to a sound doctrinal foundation is placed beyond doubt. An evangelical is one who is Scripture-accordant. Twice, the apostle Paul stipulates faith ‘according to the Scriptures.’ He said this in a context that includes the substitutionary death and bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ. Without this dependence on and submission to biblical revelation, there is no evangelicalism.” In a New York Times story chronicling his departure from Christianity Today, the author noted Henry’s flair, writing, “In a recent speech he called Protestantism’s ‘modernist’ bent ‘a bag of wind theologically,’ and said that the ‘death of God sideshow has already gone bankrupt.’” In a 1963 Christianity Today report following a meeting with theologian Karl Barth, Henry cleverly stated, “Barth has given new vitality to the Reformation formula of soli Deo gloria. But historical evangelicalism held not only to soli Deo; it held also to sola Scriptura.” As Albert Mohler notes, Henry’s style of “aggressive engagement” on these issues is the very thing that aided his “effective and thorough restatement of the evangelical doctrine of revelation and biblical authority.” In 2013, the year that would have marked his 100th birthday, the name Carl F. H. Henry is probably not known to many evangelicals. But, should a recovery of Henry’s life and thought occur, perhaps a new generation will join Billy Graham in the glad acknowledgement that Carl Henry’s “been the professor and I’ve been the student.”

Further Reading:

Carl. F. H. Henry, Confessions of a Theologian: An Autobiography (Word, 1986).
Carl. F. H. Henry, God, Revelation, and Authority, 6 vols. (Crossway, 1999).
Carl F. H. Henry, “Fifty Years a Baptist,” in Tom J. Nettles and Russell D. Moore, eds., Why I Am A Baptist (B&H, 2001).
R. Albert Mohler, Jr., “Carl F. H. Henry,” David S. Dockery and Timothy George, eds., Theologians of the Baptist Tradition (B&H, 2001).
The Carl F. H. Henry Center for Theological Understanding at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School: http://www.henrycenter.org/about/timeline/his-works
“Carl F. H. Henry (1913-2003): A Tribute,” Southern Baptist Journal of Theology (Winter 2004).
Gregory Alan Thornbury, Recovering Classic Evangelicalism: Applying the Wisdom and Vision of Carl F. H. Henry (Crossway, 2013).

Experiencing God at Home

DavidSchrader — Wed, 08 May 2013 00:23:00 GMT

God-centered,
God-directed,
and God-blessed.

Amidst society’s rapid secularization and increasingly anti-Christian stance, there are plenty of parents who sincerely want to raise their children to love and serve God and to experience God’s blessing upon their lives.

Still, the statistics are sobering. Rising divorce rates, the bullying epidemic, multiplying online distractions, and dangerous cyber addictions have our kids facing temptations and pressures we never imagined at their age.

The challenges are many, but solutions are available.

In fact, the Bible has shown us that the darker things get, the more determined God is to use Christian families as lights on a hill. God is just as interested in working through your family today to extend His kingdom as He was with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Mary and Joseph.

Experiencing God at Home by Tom and Richard Blackaby gives you the tools that will help your family be God-centered, God-directed, and God-blessed despite a world unfocused and off course.

Ask God to open your heart as you open your home to His guidance and blessings.

The Resolution for Women

DavidSchrader — Tue, 07 May 2013 21:56:00 GMT

Have you joined the resolution revolution?

Priscilla Shirer's New York Times best seller The Resolution for Women is a call for women to live intentionally to honor God and their families.

Reviewers at Goodreads agree:

"This is excellent insightful material, great for a small group study (our community group women are reading this together for our summer book group). I've never read anything by Priscilla Shirer before, and her writing is fresh and thought-provoking. There is a lot of wisdom here."

"A book to read, a book to reread and a book to recommend."

"I'm declaring this book an absolute must read for women and young women."

eBook Deals for Mother's Day 2013

DavidSchrader — Tue, 07 May 2013 19:45:00 GMT

God bless all the moms out there!

Mother's Day is this Sunday, May 12, and if your mom has an eBook reader, why not surprise her with one of the following titles now at awesomely low prices?

This offer lasts through May 14, 2013, so act fast!

Mended by Angie Smith / $3.99
Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble ~ ChristianBook ~ iTunes

The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer / $4.99
Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble ~ ChristianBook ~ iTunes

Bible Promises for Mom / $2.99
Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble ~ ChristianBook ~ iTunes

Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter by Vicki Courtney / $4.99
Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble ~ ChristianBook ~ iTunes

Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Son by Vicki Courtney / $4.99
Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble ~ ChristianBook ~ iTunes

Life Interrupted by Priscilla Shirer / $2.99
Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble ~ ChristianBook ~ iTunes

The Life Ready Woman by Shaunti Feldhahn / $2.99
Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble ~ ChristianBook ~ iTunes

Letting Go of Perfect by Amy E. Spiegel / $2.99
Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble ~ ChristianBook ~ iTunes

Its been a while

foreverhopefull — Tue, 07 May 2013 16:35:24 GMT

Okay so I was previously known as hopefullforever, but I had some issues with my account. I have not been able to log anything for the last few weeks so I will try to remember everything. It has been so rough lately. On April 21, my husband said he didn't want to leave me anymore. He thanked me for keeping our family together and said that if he would have left, he would have regretted it. We were doing pretty well there for a while, and I made sure to keep Christ first. He has been home a lot more lately since he got laid off a few weeks ago. He has also been battling with depression for the past 8 or so months. Hes been taking medication for a few months now. We had a date night a few weeks ago, and it was nice. We held hands, cuddled, and just overall had a good time. Since then, things have slipped away. I don't know what is going on. Our date was on a Friday, which he had a few drinks, then the next night he had a few more drinks at a family get together. I explained to him that when he does that, it defeats the whole purpose of his antidepressant medication. He gets irritated when I try to tell him anything about his depression. Well come the next night, he had a horrible night. He just wanted to be left alone to cry and listen to music. I pretended I didn't notice as I laid next to him playing games on our phones. After a few hours of that, he wanted to hold me, but informed me of his episode. I told him I knew he was crying, but I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by pointing it out. he thanked me, and said he hates that I am so nice to him. Since then he has been distant most of the time, showing little affection. Most recently, just a few nights ago, he was feeling really down again...due to drinking. He said that he is so unhappy in this marriage. He doesn't feel the need to leave me, but said he doesn't love me like he should. He gets more depressed thinking this is as good as its going to get. He also has very little patience with our children and would rather not spend time with them most of the time. I told him this was his depression speaking, but he says I am just making excuses. I asked him what about when he told me that if he left he would regret it, and he just said that he thinks he still means it, but isn't sure. He is going through a battle in his mind. He told me the other night, that I better get used to him being an a**hole, because it is only going to get worse. He always forgets to put his ring back on after his boxing class. I think now, he intentionally doesn't put it back on because the other night, after we got back from the class, I asked him for me ring, which is with his. He grabbed both out to see which one was mine, but threw his back in the bag. I just don't understand him. I have been praying and praying. I pray for strength, and peace. I also pray for God to pierce my husbands heart and to clear his depression. I really think this disease is destroying him. I we are supposed to be a testimony to others, but I don't know how my husband can see it. He speaks so poorly about Christianity and mocks God all the time. I believe it is him and his depression. If he is not well, how can he think clearly to feel conviction. I feel like a doormat most of the time in this marriage. I reallly want it to work, I just hope this isn't what the rest of my life looks like with him. He also told me that he hopes i find someone in church that I can be happy with, because he can't provide it. Who says that to their wife. He said he just wants me to be happy, and he can't love me the way I love him. He feels bad that I love him more. I told him that is only possible through Christ. He of course, rejects that idea.

Sean this is for you

foreverhopefull — Tue, 07 May 2013 16:06:03 GMT

I was previously hopefullforever and lost accesibility to my account. I was trying to reset my password, but it never sends me the emails. I created this account just to be able to communicate with you. I have a lot of changes that I want to journal about. Should I just use this profile now?

Day 16 - Love Intercedes

beforethevows — Tue, 07 May 2013 11:54:00 GMT

The day started off with great promise. Work was awful, and while texting him about what a rough day I was having, who should show up to take me to lunch but him. I was so grateful I wanted to cry. I kept thanking him for coming to meet me. The little things like that mean so much to me. He really made my whole day better. But then when I got home everything was different. Admittedly I wasn’t in the best mood either because of work. I kept thinking back to the previous days dares and how I needed to not take my frustration out on him, and show him how happy I was to be home and how excited I was to see him. I could have done better, but I could have done worse too.

He said he was tired so we went to bed early. And lying there he started telling me how sometimes he still just wants to pack all his stuff and go back home. How everything about how he is living right now is what he never wanted. I didn’t get angry or yell. I kept all of my promises from the list I made on day 13. I listened to what he had to say. I asked questions. I wasn’t negative. I just let him talk. But yes, I cried. And hearing the tone in which he asked me why I was crying sounded like it was filled with such disdain. I told him sometimes those things are just hard to hear. He kept talking about how he’s not happy within himself. I can’t change that. He has to. God has to. I just told him that I was there for him no matter what, I’d help anyway I could, and that no matter what I loved him. They weren’t just words though. These last few weeks have really shown me how much I actually MEAN that. I love him regardless. No ifs, ands or buts. No conditions. I just do. Yes, I was disappointed that we’re having this talk just a few days before he leaves. Because I wanted these last few days to be happy and full of us just enjoying each other’s company. I’ve made plans to blow off all of my normal activities other than work so I can spend extra time with him before he leaves, but I’m also grateful that God allowed him to open his heart to me before it became an argument, and at a point we could still talk about what is on his mind.

In terms of praying, I reread the chapters on how to pray and what to pray. This is still where I feel lost sometimes. Praying is still so painfully new to me. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m doing it wrong. I just keep reminding myself that if I am sincere in my words to God and what I’m asking for that maybe the exact words don’t matter so much. He knows what’s in my greatest good and what’s in my heart. I prayed that I could leave my selfish thoughts out of what I’m praying for my boyfriend to gain in his heart. But again, I’m not perfect. I’m flawed. I’m selfish. I just hope the love I have shined through more. Anyway, my prayers for him yesterday:

1) That he can find a way to control his anger in a healthy way. (yes this is selfish on my part because it is what I want, but it’s also something he has said he wants help with. Not a total selfless prayer on my part, but I’ll give it 50% or so)

2) That he finds peace and happiness within himself. That he is able to love himself for who he is, regardless of whether or not he’s gained weight since he’s become a civilian again. That he can see himself through God’s eyes as a flawed, but still as the deserving, amazing, beautiful man he is.

3) That he seeks God again and rekindles his relationship with Him. Ironically he’s the one who lead me to really seeking my relationship with God, but he’s been more resistant to Him lately than ever.

I still have a long way to go. A lot to work on. This is another one of those dares I am going to revisit a few times and revise as needed. Some days it feels like my relationship is taking 2 steps forward and 8 back, but even baby steps are steps. Here’s to always moving forward, whatever the path ahead may bring.

"Read. This. Book."

DavidSchrader — Tue, 07 May 2013 11:36:00 GMT

Searching for one of those life-changing reads? Be sure to take a look at 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker.

Disturbed by her family’s comfortableness with American excess, Jen convinced them to join her in a unique social and spiritual decision to live by a rule of seven, reducing material possessions/distractions in order to connect with a greatly increased God. 7 tells their deeply inspiring and often humorous story.

Since the book's release last year, Hatmaker was named among Christianity Today's 50 Women to Watch. And the online reviews for 7 often go like this:

"All right, I am going to come out and say this. I LOVED THIS BOOK. Read. This. Book."

"I am adoring @JenHatmaker 's book '7.' It's rocking my world. Buy it!"

Missing

foreverlearning — Tue, 07 May 2013 08:35:49 GMT

I realise now I didn't handle the issue properly the other night or in fact back in December when it first happened. Today I read about forgiveness and judgement. It was thought provok ing for me. It mentioned about the author who had a person at work tell stories about him. He prayed for him and turned to God for relief, guidance, and the strength to overcome it. As he continued to pray and sought to walk with God his feeling changed to one of understanding, then sorrow, and then love. The understanding came from realizing that this person didn't know who the author was, nor who he himself was. His actions didn't match his true identity. With the sad feeling, he prayed for him so the man could come to know the truth, and feel the joy that comes from valuing himself the way God values him. The love feeling came as the author felt the pure love of God for him. As he felt deeply some of Jesus's suffering for him, he was willing to suffer for this person's mistake. He said he'ld do it out of the love he felt for God and Jesus. He would not expect anything in return from the man. After all this he was able to forgive the man without requiring him to change.

He said how well it works for us will depend on how strong our love is for God. If the pain we experience from someone is greater than our love for God, then we will probably be overcome by the temporal experience. If our love for God is greater than the pain, then it is much easier to transfer the pain unto the spiritual world and use it for spiritual growth.

Wow!!! I hadn't done any of this but I will now. I didn't pray for the girl but I will now. By the sounds too I really need to improve my relationship with God. Otherwise I wouldn't have been hurt so much. Wow!!!!!

Days 14 & 15

beforethevows — Mon, 06 May 2013 11:31:00 GMT

Days 14 and 15 made for a great weekend. This was our last weekend before he leaves town for almost two weeks, and I feel like we made the most of it. I pushed off all my usual weekend running around and errands, minus running to my sisters and to the store once. Other than that we spent time together. We talked, we laughed, held hands and cuddled and watched movies and played with the dogs. We made breakfast together, and just enjoyed each other’s company. Watching him nap with my dogs in the mornings reminded me just how crazy I am about him. How lucky I am that we have this second chance to rebuild things. And he’s been different lately too. More responsive to my needs. Doing more of the little things because he says he knows it’s important to me. I feel like we’ve hit a massive break through. I’m still trying to make time to read a little of my bible every day and to pray. All in all feeling pretty positive about things right now, even knowing that him going out of town is usually a challenge for me. I feel optimistic. I know that with prayer and my conversations with God, and continuing to be the woman this man deserves these few weeks won’t matter in the grand scheme of things. We’re better and stronger than ever.

Next Best Thing

foreverlearning — Mon, 06 May 2013 08:22:49 GMT

My husband and I had another fight last night. The good thing that came out of it was he understood what I've been saying to him since Christmas. It was like a light bulb went off in his noggin. I just wish it wouldn't reach that point before he gets things. It's horrible, totally depletes me, then he gets it.

I've been working my program, mainly the first 3 steps. That seems to be where I'm at with it all. One step at a time, doing the next best thing.

Tracey

Manhood Restored by Eric Mason

ChrisCowan — Mon, 06 May 2013 07:12:00 GMT

The earthly crisis within manhood will be there until Jesus returns, but in Christ men are pointed toward the gospel as the vision for renewal. Manhood Restored: How the Gospel Makes Men Whole by Eric Mason combines theological depth with practical insights, putting men in step with a gospel-centered manhood that will enrich every facet of their lives.

Table of Contents:
Introduction
Chapter 1: The Life and Death of Manhood
Chapter 2: The Impact of Daddy Deprivation
Chapter 3: The Restorer of Manhood
Chapter 4: Restored Worldview
Chapter 5: Restored Sexuality
Chapter 6: Restored Vision
Chapter 7: Restored Family
Chapter 8: Restored Church
Conclusion

Download: The foreword by Tony Evans, the foreword by Matt Chandler, and chapter 1.

Watch: the trailer for the book

(Please visit the site to view this media)

ahhhh

sheldonie — Sun, 05 May 2013 07:44:47 GMT

Well i am really struggling today.......

Yesterday I had a really bad migraine, half of everything was missing when looking and looked like a porthole in the ground or anywhere i was looking. My husband was a little tentative...... then he decided to come to bed, asked first if it was ok to put the telly on. I said as long as it was quiet. Well after two mins the light and noise was unbearable so I said id go sleep in the living room so he could watch his film. If i did he flipped, swore and flung the remote control. Boy did I cry.... probably self pity, or just another of his traits that is killing me.....

Today I awoke with a migraine hangover...... husband is going biking all day...... that is where his heart is..... not with his family. Anyway he did come and give me a peck on the cheek to say goodbye and then he left at 7am this morning.

I had to face>>>> Toilet broken, dishes everywhere its so hard to live with a selfish man who seems to be thoughtless.

Anyway my 14 year old son came in with a cup of tea. My daughter helped with the dishes.

Think it is a build up of loneliness in a marriage, no love or intimacy, silent treatment and emotional abuse......Isnt it funny how self talks you into "thats it cant do this anymore I want out!!!!"

I did manage the dare two days ago about loving them forever........ his response was "whats the catch" That is where he is at.

Part of me feels so sorry for him that he is unable to trust or love anyone closely without feeling there has to be some condition tied with it.

I will just spend some time with God my comforter today, seeking his wisdom asking for forgiveness where I am being a stumbling block with Gods plan for my husband.

It is so hard to know how to be, where I have always given and not received always sacrificed and then God strengthened me and I became strong in him.

Also my husbands emotional affair two years ago keeps on taunting me...... ahhhhhh

Day 13 - Love Fights Fair

beforethevows — Sat, 04 May 2013 14:35:00 GMT

I read this chapter….oh I don’t know how many times, over and over again throughout the course of the day. I read it and I prayed. I read it and I cried. I read it and felt shame for all of the times I have not been the things I would want in a partner. Then I read it again, and again. I finally got my chance to take him out for a nice dinner to celebrate him being done with his first semester of school. And over wine and great food I brought up the topic of coming up with healthy ways for us to fight. Though our arguments are few and far between, they are TOXIC when they occur. It usually winds up with him storming out of the house, me sobbing in the bedroom and both of us feeling broken, hurt, insulted and through with our relationship. Funny how I never saw what a simple fix was right in front of me the whole time, pray about it, talk about it, make rules BEFORE the fight ever happens and stick to them. He told me he would have to think about it and we would discuss it later. I made sure I was clear that this is not about blame and what he does wrong, but what we both need to work on. In the meantime, I made my own rules, which even if he never decides to bring this back up with me will help the arguing some.

1) I will never again talk to him like an enemy, a child, or in a sarcastic manner. He is my best friend and I will always treat him with the love and respect he deserves.

2) If he says he needs space I will honor that wish and let him take the time he needs to cool off.

3) I will no longer bring up anything from the past that I say I have forgiven him for and then later throw back in his face because I really haven’t. I choose to forgive. I ask God to give me the strength to be able to.

4) I will not bring up ending the relationship. Not even if it’s what I think he wants.

5) I will not assume he means one thing when he’s saying something else. Off of that, if I don’t understand something he says, or my initial response is to take offense to something I will ask, not yell, ask for him to clarify his point of view and feelings.

I feel like I will need to revisit this a few times. I plan on praying on it some more over the course of the next few weeks and adding to this list. For me, I know this is something I really need to work on. I’ve always prided myself on my “New York temper.” What a selfish, ignorant fool I’ve been.

B&H Resets Fiction Strategy to Align with Broader Strategies

DavidSchrader — Sat, 04 May 2013 00:08:00 GMT

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (May 3, 2013) –B&H Publishing Group president Selma Wilson has announced a new strategy for the company’s fiction program.

Uniquely positioned for developing strategic partnerships, B&H will intentionally focus on publishing only those novels that are tied to broader strategic endeavors, including initiatives with ministries, external film partners, LifeWay Films, and the B&H Kids line. Past releases using this model have included such best sellers as The Love Dare, The Vow, The Resolution for Men, as well as titles such as October Baby and Unconditional. New and upcoming releases include the Experiencing God at Home line, The Lost Medallion by Bill Muir and Alex Kendrick and The Truth Seekers Series by Bill Myers.

“B&H is focusing on projects that align with our core strengths,” said Wilson. “We are uniquely gifted in working alongside partners and utilizing all of the tools that LifeWay Christian Resources is blessed to have. We are a team of people who want to spread the gospel around the world, and we believe we accomplish that best when we deploy our gifts to broader movements alongside strategic relationships.”

Upcoming B&H releases this year include The Love Dare for Parents by Stephen and Alex Kendrick (July 1), Whispers of Hope by Beth Moore (October 1), and Operation Christmas Child by Franklin Graham and Donna Lee Toney (October 1).

B&H Publishing Group, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources, is a non-profit publisher made up of people who are passionate about taking God’s Word to the world. Because we believe Every Word Matters™, we seek to provide intentional, Bible-centered content that positively impacts the hearts and minds of people, inspiring them to build a lifelong relationship with Jesus Christ. Among our print and digital releases for the trade, church, and academic markets, titles include The New York Times No. 1 bestsellers The Love Dare and The Vow as well as the award-winning HCSB Study Bible.  

###

Round 6 Day 2

Missy is Faithful 2013 — Fri, 03 May 2013 16:46:23 GMT

Thursday 5/2/13

Day 2….Completed

This was easy, I dropped off his mail in the morning even though I had no reason to go to his parents as it was early day for DS at school.

I am definitely in a different place today then I was a year ago and a different universe from two years ago. I have grown so much but still lack the same. I struggle almost every day, although reading the bible at night and having our kids around truly does help.

The focus for me primarily has been removed from the marriage onto our kids, especially my DS. I spoke with his counselor at school and she clearly confirmed that he has A LOT of anger because of DH leaving. My DH, was kinda upset that DS watched “courageous”. He said that it was not age appropriate and he didn’t see what he needed to watch it so badly. Ok, so Transformers at age 7 is appropriate. An I-phone at 9 is appropriate. You needed to see it as it was all about fatherhood, something that you said you wanted to be, a better father. Crazy..Conviction maybe.

He wants to talk next week about how we can “fix” the problem with DS. I have already outreached a counselor for him. DH suggested we go out to dinner or tea or something alone to talk. This is bothering me. I have been fighting drastically the thought that he is pulling me to neutral territory to tell me bad news or serve me papers. I am definitely fighting it and not trying to let the anxiety build. He says he wants a solution that is good for everybody. I agree. I believe that a healthy family unit is best. He is probably thinking, how can I have the kids without the wife around. See the expectations that I build. See why I am fighting. I talk to HIM all the time about it. To release the fear. DH is going away Saturday to Sunday. Again without communicating with me. The single life he must love.

I can clearly say that having children in the mix makes this that much more difficult.

From my devotional….Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled. They are the ones who never give up, despite the struggles

B&H Sees Impact of Operation Christmas Child

DavidSchrader — Fri, 03 May 2013 16:36:00 GMT

When B&H Publishing Group president Selma Wilson and trade book publisher Jennifer Lyell visited Peru earlier this year with the Operation Christmas Child ministry to distribute gift-filled shoeboxes to needy kids, it was a life-changing experience they were eager to share with their entire team.

They joined the mission trip in relation to B&H’s upcoming release Operation Christmas Child: A Story of Simple Gifts by Franklin Graham and Donna Lee Toney (October 1, 2013). The book is a memory- and photo-filled twentieth anniversary celebration of the ministry that has inspired everyday people to provide more than 100 million gift-filled shoeboxes to children in 130 countries.

At a special B&H division gathering last week, Wilson and Lyell shared their experience, as did guest speaker Livia Satterfield, an orphan whose life was forever changed by Operation Christmas Child.

Growing up in a Romanian orphanage where living conditions were very poor, Livia’s greatest wish was a modest one: to have her own set of hair clips. In time she received a shoebox from Operation Christmas Child that contained not only hair clips but also toys, personal hygiene items, and a two-part friendship heart necklace—one heart for Livia to wear and another for her to give away.

Livia gave the second heart to the woman who delivered the box to her, a woman who would eventually return to Romania to adopt her.

“It was no coincidence those hair clips were on the top of the items in the box,” Wilson told employees. “God was there when that shoebox was packed for that little girl. God changes lives with something that simple.”

B&H employees were also given the opportunity to join together in ministry with Operation Christmas Child, packing 50 shoeboxes to send worldwide, filled not only with soccer balls, crayons, and tooth brushes, but also with prayers.

Proceeds from the book Operation Christmas Child will go to support the ministry it seeks to celebrate and honor.

B&H Publishing Group, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources, is a non-profit publisher made up of people who are passionate about taking God’s Word to the world. Because we believe Every Word Matters™, we seek to provide intentional, Bible-centered content that positively impacts the hearts and minds of people, inspiring them to build a lifelong relationship with Jesus Christ. Among our print and digital releases for the trade, church, and academic markets, titles include The New York Times No. 1 bestsellers The Love Dare and The Vow as well as the award-winning HCSB Study Bible.

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Day 22 - Love no matter what

arap926 — Fri, 03 May 2013 13:39:53 GMT

Just a quick note to piggyback off yesterday’s journal… “God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son…” Could I love my husband in that way? The way God intended us to love our spouse – just as he loves us, the church, the world. Yes I can! Prayerfully, I won’t have to… but I can do that. For Him and for him.

My husband does not need to be literally bought off the slave block but figuratively he does. He has been bought by the world, by his career, by his own flesh, and maybe even in some ways by evil. Who is going to pay the price for him? I will be his Hosea.

Day 12 - Love Lets the Other Win

beforethevows — Fri, 03 May 2013 11:50:00 GMT

In some ways I’m fortunate, because no real opportunity opened itself up for today’s dare. Frankly, we very seldom argue about anything, even little things like what to have for dinner. We’re pretty in sync. Despite that though, I took a lot out of today’s message especially the part that says “treat them as your closest, most honored friend. Give their words full weight.” Yes this applies to my relationship with my boyfriend, because I do still have that nasty human selfish habit of putting up walls. Of sometimes treating him like he’s “not worthy” of the true feelings of my heart. Or I get stubborn and neglect to see things his way. I’m imperfect.

But what really struck me is my friendship with God. What a new and blossoming relationship this is. Haven’t I treated Him the same? Haven’t I put up walls against Him? Yes, I took out of today that I need to be more willing to open my heart to my boyfriend, to compromise more. But what I really see is that I need to apply the same principles to my faith. It’s time to tear all those old walls down. They no longer serve me.

Lost again

foreverlearning — Fri, 03 May 2013 08:28:19 GMT

I got a bit lost yesterday with my daughters dramas. We went in and spent the afternoon with her. She felt better by the time we left. I've been praying for her everytime I pray now. I know that is the best way to help her.

The kiddies and I are heading out to my husband for a few days. He's not able to come home this time so we're going to him. It's looking like we may actually be able to move out there with him. He's received a pay rise which will help with the accomodation. We'll be looking around at places. My goodness things are starting to happen. I realise just like Sean keeps saying no matter what happens I've got to keep the Lord first in my life.

I'm really trying to keep my codepency in check as it feels out of control at the moment with all this. I've got to slow down and just do the next best thing. A minute at a time if I need to and focus on what the Lord wants me to do.

Juan Sanchez on the family and God's mission

ChrisCowan — Fri, 03 May 2013 07:29:00 GMT

Family and God's Mission
by Juan Sanchez

After God created Adam and Eve in His image, He gave them a mission—“Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it” (Gen 1:28). Adam and Eve’s mission was to rule over creation, which included extending the borders of the garden until human domain covered the entire earth and filling the earth with children who reflected God’s image. In this way the whole earth would be filled with God’s glory as Adam and Eve fulfilled their God-given roles as parents who raised their children to know God and live to fulfill His will. The Bible confirms this goal when it declares in Malachi 2:15 that the reason God created man and woman was because He was seeking godly children.

Unfortunately, Adam and Eve rebelled against God (Gen 3) and compromised God’s mission. As a result of their sin, all humans are born into a fallen spiritual condition (Ps 51:5; Rom 3:23). Rather than an earth filled with the godly children God seeks, we have a world marred by sin and rebellion against God. Rather than declare His mission at an end, God promised that someday a child would come who would defeat the tempter (Gen 3:15). The New Testament reveals that the long-awaited child is Jesus Christ. By His obedient life and sacrificial death, Jesus defeated the devil and set free from slavery to sin and death all those who call on His name in faith (Heb 2:14-18).

God’s mission has not changed today. He is still seeking godly children. By turning away from sin and turning to Christ in faith, we are transferred from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of the Son God loves, becoming children of God (Col 1:13). Jesus is the new Adam who is ruling over God’s creation and filling the earth with the glory of God—children who reflect God’s image (Rom 8:29; 2 Cor 3:18).

As Christian parents, our family is our first mission field. We join God’s mission as we bring up our children in the training and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4; Col 3:21). How? First, the truths of the gospel must be hidden in our own hearts (Deut 6:5-6). If this is true of us, our children will see in us the fruits of the gospel life. Second, as parents we must read and know God’s Word because only then can we pass on to our children what we know to be true about God, His Word and His works (Ps 78:5). Finally, we are to teach these truths to our children diligently (Deut 6:7-9), getting them into the Word regularly, so they may know truth from error and set their hope in God (Ps 78:7).

The goal of biblical parenting is not merely to raise well-behaved children, but to raise generations of children who are fulfilling God’s design—to fill the earth with His renown through image bearers who live on mission.

This essay is adapted from The Mission of God Study Bible, Copyright © 2012 by Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville, TN. All Rights Reserved.

Confused

Lorena — Fri, 03 May 2013 00:40:42 GMT

How do we know when to act? My husband has been clear he doesn't want to be here, is no longer in love, wants to live a single life, says he's moving out one day but then decides it's more convenient for him to stay here for now. He wants to come and go as he pleases, spending 1-2 nights a week away at his "friends" without any questions. I am pregnant with twins that he doesn't want and has even suggested adoption plus we have our 6 year old son and 2 daughters. Doesn't God call us to love others as we love ourselves? Where is our self-love coming from? I'm praying and asking God for direction, strength and His will to be done. Our living situation is not healthy for anyone involved, especially my pregnancy and the kids. I started the love dares not expecting to change my husband but to lead my heart towards God. I also figured that if my husband doesn't change at least I will have learned and grown from the experience. I am also clear that I cannot change my husband but I do have to look after my health, these babies and my kids. When do we know when to act and say this is not ok? How do we know God is leading us to act? Why do pastors and leaders say it's biblical in certain situations to walk away from your husband. I want to save my marriage but I also want my babies to be healthy.

Day 21 - I'm back and better than ever!

arap926 — Thu, 02 May 2013 21:42:49 GMT

Praise God!

Over the past month I felt that I needed to give the LD a break as I searched for God, to really understand him outside of the context of my marriage. Admittedly I did not make it easy and I am sure I was probably very stubborn in some ways but I still kept on searching and crying out to my Lord and he answered! The experience was beyond overwhelming - I just want to share it with everyone! The problem is that it doesn't always translate. I have told friends - some seem unaffected, some dismiss it as unimportant or maybe even unreal while others "get it" but maybe just not with the excitement I would expect it to received. So I will just venture to say that God spoke to me. In the quiet of our morning devotional time together, after months of disbelief and weeks of crying out to him "Please show yourself to me!!! I want to believe!" he spoke to me... in a way perfect for me and in a way I could never deny. After refusing to pray, not getting up in the morning for devotional and skipping one church service (haha I could only push out enough stubbornness for one weekend service). I got up one morning and I (and I say "I" very loosely) pulled myself out of bed and into my closet and prayed. I told God (wrote to him...thats my method) that I felt.... I felt.... I couldn't find the word --and I was given the word...it was "resentful." After I finished writing my rant I opened to where I had left off to find none other than a word on resentment.

Ok God you got my attention!

Next day say thing.... Couldn't think of a word... then it was given to me... I wrote it down... and bam it was in my subsequent reading of Scripture. So now I'm sobbing and now I am in.

What a gracious God that he still blessed me even after I was being such a stubborn, spoiled brat!! Makes me think --- this perfect time - the words and the scripture lining up with my needs and my thoughts... It just makes me realize that God's really got it all in his hands. Did he know I would need those days "off" and to feel resentment so he could speak to me on it? I mean that question is more rhetorical - of course he knew. And there began my quest. He did the same thing to me again recently ... about confidence right before reading Psalms 112. Amazing!

So I say all of this to say that I'm back!! and better than ever. Standing for my marriage but not too concerned about it. I know my God and I know what he has for me and I know that if in my fleshly ways I make a wrong turn that he will listen to my heart, know my intentions and fix me on the right path. I have come back to LD mostly bc no one else gets this fact. None of my friends, of the family that I have told - they either don't get it or stay out of it - probably still not getting it, even my pastor seems to want to tell me to cut my husband off. A different pastor - the one that married us - seems so hung up on advising me out of this marriage its unnerving!! We are called to love aren't we?! My husband is a broken and backsliding man - how could I abandon him?! Why would I cut him off? Bc he is not giving me everything I want immediately?! Red flag - selfishness. Bc I want something more for myself - Red flag - lust of the world. Bc I am sick of waiting? Red flag - we are called to be patient and to sacrifice. God created marriage to be the image of his love for the church - wow if he cut us off every time we didn't give him what he wants or wanted something better for himself or was sick of waiting for us to do the right thing we would all be in trouble! Our Heavenly Father gave us his word and began it with a marriage in Eden and ended it with a marriage in the metaphor of a wedding feast in Revelation. This is his most important creation for his most important creation - marriage. That's why the devil hates it and that's why we need to stay strong in it. Not for one year, not for two, not fighting for ten and calling it quits. FOREVER!! Fight, fight, fight!!!! The Spiritual Battle is on devil - come and get me! I'm not giving up!! God gave me this man, my husband for a reason... bc he knew what I could do and he knew that I could be a hand in his saving, restoration and healing. I will sacrifice everything for that!

Is anyone with me?! :)

I have turned my life over to God. He is renewing my heart and making me happier than I have ever been. Not by the worlds definition of happiness but by his. Trials? Sign me up - just means I get closer to him and become more like him. Hard times? I'll take some over here please just means that I will be weak where you are strong and rejoice while You work your miracle my Holy, marvelous God. He alone can satisfy and that he does! I don't NEED my husband. I can survive plenty on my own - with God of course but I am also self sufficient. I will still stand and wait for him though. I will sacrifice it all. What I am currently struggling with is the idea that I might be sacrificing my childbearing years. I have given it to God but I don't want to be unwise either. Having children has been one of my greatest desires. I had made the decision that my husband comes second, even now before children, he has to be before them and that is what I have to do now. The pastor that I spoke about previously just attempted to talk to me about it. I try not to talk to her because of this reason but she pressed. She discouraged me a bit, saying shes worried that I've always talked about wanting children and now I am talking about possibly sacrificing that possibility for saving and waiting for my husband - saying I will regret it. I am only 29. People have children at 40. I'm not sure what I even have to be nervous about (I do only have one ovary). I am sure that if I wait and then can't have kids I will be upset but I also have a God that is very capable but she says that I might be making an unwise decision saying that I would be ok with just adopting and that I will be bitter if I can't have my own children.

Day 11 - Love Cherishes

beforethevows — Thu, 02 May 2013 11:37:00 GMT

I had to pray on how to do the cherish dare today. It’s between pay days for me and I’m pretty strapped for cash. Plus I’m trying to look outside the box. Yes part of this dare is the reminder of how I used to buy things for him more often just because, but I need to remember this isn’t about material things, it’s about showing what’s in my heart. The work day passed without me being able to think of a thing to do for him (obviously washing his car while I’m at work isn’t possible). When I got home I was presented with my opportunity though as he had fixed a burner on the stove and cleaned some stuff up around the house. I took a minute to really sincerely thank him for what he had done during the day, and all of the hard work he was putting into school and everything else. We laid on the couch the rest of the night and cuddled and watched tv and talked. I hope this simple act of spending uninterrupted time together, of holding hands, of just having my arms around him, and the little words of love and thanks I gave him were enough. It seemed right at the time, but now I find myself worrying maybe I missed something or didn’t do enough. Simply trying to remember that this, like all the other dares is a building block, and to show him how much I cherish him every day is the real goal. Because I do. And it’s time he saw it.

Rnd 3 Love Dare Day 32 Love meets sexual needs

kpransom — Thu, 02 May 2013 11:21:07 GMT

If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.

After not writing an entries for several weeks. It's to start again. My wife has been having health problems that causes sever pain. So needless to say this dare won't be completed. I have been praying and being a comfort to her while she is going through this. One time she was so frustrated she called me at work to vent. This is a good thing and I'm glad she calls me to do this because it shows that maybe she is beginning trust again. The Lord is answering prayer as the leader in her women's bible study was noticing how much she has changed in the past few months. She wanted her to give her testimony. This might be the beginning of God showing her what His will is for her life. I hope that He will use her to bless other women in group with her story.

Frog, Bird, Whale Tell Other Side of Bible Stories in "Hey God" Books

DavidSchrader — Wed, 01 May 2013 18:51:00 GMT

Parents and kids are laughing together as they share the new series from Troy Schmidt where he uncovers the other side of some well-known Bible stories.

Hey God, I've Got Some Guy Named Jonah in My Stomach and I Think I'm Gonna Throw Up! imagines how that great sea creature from the incident might tell his side of the story, helping kids ages 4 to 8 discover a creative way of learning about that guy who was supposed to go to Ninevah.

Hey God, Can You Stop the Rain so I Can Get off Noah's Stinky, Smelly Ark? imagines how a certain raven from the story might recount those forty days and night. Kids will discover Noah's epic voyage in a whole new way.

Finally, Hey God, I'm Having an Awful Vacation in Egypt Thanks to Moses! uncovers in the most playful way, how one of those frogs might tell the story about the ten plagues.

Here’s what moms are saying:

This book had my kids laughing out loud yet was a terrific way to start a discussion.

–Buzz4Mommies, Blog

My boys were excited to read Hey God, I’ve Got Some Guy Named Jonah in My Stomach and I Think I’m Gonna Throw Up! Even my 13 year old listened in. The words throw up get most boys attention right away!
–Mom Knows Best, Blog

From page 1, this book had me and the kids laughing!
–Gretta, blogger

My favorite part is the activity at the end that has kids imagining that they are in a whale and listening for God's voice.
– A Hearty Overflow, Blog

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This i am finding hard :(

sheldonie — Wed, 01 May 2013 17:42:26 GMT

Well the last few days have been a great encouragement with god, and then I came to this one!! and now I am finding it hard. I know that I will be used and abused when I say these and part of me so wants to rebel and not do it..... must be self protection from all the years of hurt!! Every inch of my "self" is saying dont do it........................ but I know to have freedom this is to be done. Maybe tomorrow. will pray for strength first.

Why is it so hard, because this is normal for me to say...... is it because I know it is now unconditional?????? now there is food for thought. Think Im gonna be on this one a while....... lets pray god encourages me..... I know he will.

Will let you know how it goes......

Day 29 - Motivation

Bryan — Wed, 01 May 2013 15:14:21 GMT

Have never found it difficult to pray for my wife, or telling her that I love her. Its figuring out the difference between the wants and the needs. So I put it all in Gods hands. He knows her needs better the either one of us.

The tangible way I expressed my love was to go with her for her hand surgery consult. I went with to give the love and support she would need since talking with doctors is never easy and usually nerve racking. We sat and held hands while we listened. Good new, no surgery is needed.

Went back to God in prayer and thanked him for his healing powers and of course for blessing my life with such a wonderful woman. Thanking him for His love and forgiveness for myself and my family is routinely part of my prayers.

I cannot see where there would be any negative effects of my change in motivation. The reactions, that I cannot control, I can only pray that God willing that my love will eventually tear down the walls she has built around her heart and that her heart will soften. It has renewed my commitment to God and to her. It has inspired me to stop worrying about what I may have done in the past and to keep putting my trust in the Lord. If it is his will he will bring us together like he did before.

Day 10 - Love is Unconditional

beforethevows — Wed, 01 May 2013 11:47:00 GMT

Love is unconditional. How many times do we say or think that and then try to later put limitations on it? I love you but….I used to love you until…..definitely made me see how blind I have been to my own limitations on things. How many conditions have I made him feel I have for me to love him? How many times have I shown that my love is based on x, y, z? I’ve been so wrong. How determined I am now to show agape love to him and to God. This is the foundation I’ve been looking for. “This love is unselfish, unconditional, unstoppable. It is based upon choice and commitment, not feelings.” This blew me away. How have I been so blind to this? How could I think that loving anything with conditions and rules was REAL love? I got to work feeling so full of love, so overwhelmed and so grateful it was almost painful. And when I got home I gave him a massage, which I used to do so much when we got together just to show him respect and love and care and I’ve done so seldom lately. How good it felt just to love. I prayed to continue to see this, to honor it, to make a commitment each and every day to my relationship and to God.

Different

foreverlearning — Wed, 01 May 2013 09:34:57 GMT

I'm starting to see how different my life has become. My daughter seems to be slowly sinking with choices she has made. She was actually lucky not to be arrested yesterday afternoon. By the grace of God the person chose not to call the police. Hopefully a lesson will be learned out of all this. My heart hurts for her but I also know that this may be what God needs to enter her life.

Then a friend called the other day. Her marriage is not good at all. Her husband smokes pot and drinks and she's a drinker too. There was so much resentment in her voice towards her husband. Again I felt sorry for her as well as thankful for the progress we have made. Thankful for the Love Dare and thankful for Celebrate Recovery. Thankful for God's patience as well as everyone on here. For me it has been a slow awakening but I feel I'm getting there though. Tomorrow I'll be starting my 8th round. I'm sure there'll be a lot more for me to learn yet.

Fall 2013 releases coming from B&H Academic

ChrisCowan — Wed, 01 May 2013 07:21:00 GMT

Theology of the Reformers, Revised Edition
Timothy George
September 2013

The Anabaptists and Contemporary Baptists: Restoring New Testament Christianity
Essays in Honor of Paige Patterson
ed. Malcolm Yarnell
September 2013

The Community of Jesus: A Theology of the Church
ed. Kendell H. Easley and Christopher W. Morgan
September 2013

Illustrated Bible Survey: An Introduction
Ed Hindson and Elmer L. Towns
November 2013

An Introduction to Biblical Ethics
David W. Jones
November 2013

Day 9 - Love Makes Good Impressions

beforethevows — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 11:39:00 GMT

Day 9 was another one of those though provoking dares for me. How often do I come home irritated from a bad day at work, or exhausted or just too busy to do anything more than give just a quick kiss hello? How have I gone this long not noticing it? I guess what really struck me is how often I let outside problems interfere with my life at home. I really need to work harder on not taking those things out on him. On showing that even (and especially) on the bad days it’s such a joy to come home to him. The night was pretty uneventful otherwise as I came home with one of the worst migraines I’ve had in a long time. I slept through most of the night, which is a bummer, because I really wanted to take him to dinner to celebrate him being done with school. But he made dinner, and played with my hair until I fell asleep. Such a gentle reminder of how much he does care, even if showing it isn’t always his strong point. Praying for the reminder everyday of how lucky I am, and that I will continue to show how much I love this man.

Day 28 - Sacrifice

Bryan — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 04:02:48 GMT

Time and space are my wife's greatest need at this time.

I am sacrificing my need for her to be in my life more in order to give her what she says she needs. This is by no means as great of a sacrifice that Jesus gave up for us, but it is still a major one for me. When we are together it feels right and when we are apart if feels wrong. This feeling of rightness I am taking as God's way of telling me I need to be patient, He needs to work on her. I am by no means done learning either.

So I will hold every moment I am able to spend with her as a precious gift from God and continue putting all that I have learned into practice. Continuous prayers for the guidance, strength, wisdom and knowledge will only help me in everything that I do.

Days 15-21, One Week

Paul — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 17:42:31 GMT

Wow it's been a whole week since I journaled. I fear complacency in journaling my lead to, or be a sign of, complacency about the marriage. Not ambivalence by any means, but I've been working so hard that now I recognize myself slowing down a bit. Plus things have been really good between the two of us lately, and a little voice is telling me to not trust it entirely.

The problem is, the little voice is so neutral and reasonable that I cannot tell if it's Him or "him." Sometimes I interpret it as "whoah be careful buddy, she ambushed you with the divorce papers and she's getting what she needs out of this relationship without letting you have what you need." But other times I read it as "Whoah be careful buddy, you are getting complacent just because things are nice, you've made great progress within the marriage and within yourself, you can't stop now."

So I pray for understanding, for wisdom on this.

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The dares this list week have grown increasingly abstract and introspective, which relieves a major fear of mine: she has been feeling pressured and controlled by me, and in addition to praying each morning for an opportunity to complete each dare, I pray that I'm never controlling or demanding, and that the dares don't push her away.

Day 21 was pretty awesome to read this morning! Before I started the dares I designated an hour before work each morning, and right before bed, to read the bible and do a devotional. In addition to hopping around the books, I started reading Proverbs a few days ago for a research project. Since today is the 29th, I read chapter 29 which will be the easiest way for me to remember where I left off - I have too many bookmarks in there already!

Simple Church eBook Is FREE Today

DavidSchrader — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 14:16:00 GMT

The eBook edition of Simple Church: Returning to God's Process for Making Disciples by Thom S. Rainer and Eric Geiger is FREE today at several online retail sites. This is a one-day only thing, so get this best-seller at no cost while you can!

Barnes & Noble

ChristianBook.com

iTunes

Amazon (99 cents)

MyStudyBible.com

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Dr. Rainer's new book, I Am a Church Member, is available in stores everywhere this Wednesday, May 1.

Day 8 - Love is Not Jealous

beforethevows — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 11:46:00 GMT

Day 8’s dare came at a perfect time. My boyfriend just finished his finals for school, with what looks like almost a 4.0 grade average and my friends were having a barbeque. Took the time to congratulate him in front of the people there and tell him how proud I was of him. When we got back home we started down a road that usually leads us to fight, that the road that leads to things past. Why people continue to go down that road, why I continue to go down that road, I will never understand. Talking about him cheating on me never leads to good things, and it certainly doesn’t change what happened. However, instead of arguing like usual, we really talked. We talked about the past, we talked about his temper. We talked about us both really trying to make this work. He thanked me for everything I’ve done, especially this past week (the Love Dare is on my side of the bed, he was actually with me when I bought it and knows I wanted to do it, but I don’t think he consciously knows I’ve been doing each day yet). I didn’t get a chance to burn my list until this morning when I woke up. But it feels good to let those things go. I just kept visualizing them going to God to let Him deal with as he saw fit. I’m starting today with a great sense of hope and peace. I need to stop feeling like it’s up to me to control all of the time. It’s time to let God take my worries and fears and just trust the process. What a relief!

CrossBooks Breaking Down Language Barrier

DavidSchrader — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 09:02:00 GMT

CrossBooks, the assisted self-publishing imprint of B&H Publishing Group, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources, is making it easier than ever for authors to share the Gospel with the fastest growing segment of the American population. The Hispanic population has surpassed 50 million and accounts for more than 50 percent of the U.S. population growth since 2000.*

This shift in the population and demographics of our country is forcing mission-minded authors to think differently about their publishing efforts in order to reach as many readers as possible.

Fortunately, CrossBooks recently launched its new English to Spanish Translation solution for authors interested in breaking down the language barrier and getting the message into the hands of the largest ethnic group in the nation. Since our translators are also writers, they understand the art of storytelling and will work hard to ensure our authors’ content is mechanically sound and their message remains intact. We are excited that we can help make it easier for authors to “declare His glory among the nations, His wonderful works among all peoples!” (Psalm 96:3HCSB)

Learn more about how to publish a book in Spanish»

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*According to U.S. Census Bureau, 2010 Census Briefs

Doxology and Theology, edited by Matt Boswell

ChrisCowan — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 07:07:00 GMT

"Matt Boswell has brought together a thoughful group of young theologian-musicians who will stretch and deepen your ideas of what it means to lead others in corporate worship. Their thoughts will inspire a greater devotion and obedience to the Savior who is worthy not only of our songs, but our lives."
-Bob Kauflin, Director of Sovereign Grace Music

Many in the church see worship leading and theological processing at opposite ends of a big room. Theology is considered the business of pastors and professors, while worship is the business of musicians and rock stars.

But a new wave of young worship leaders is hungry for something different, the desire to think not just pragmatically (sound, charts, guitars) but theologically (the gospel, justice, pastoral ministry) about worship. Likewise, pastors and churches increasingly desire to be led by thoughtful worship leaders who combine doxology and theology.

Doxology and Theology: How the Gospel Forms the Worship Leader, edited by Matt Boswell is a resource by worship leaders for worship leaders that clearly articulates how these two pieces join together. Contributions from eleven respected worship leaders around the country including Matt Papa (Summit Church, Raleigh-Durham), Aaron Keyes (Grace Church, Atlanta), Michael Bleecker (The Village Church, Dallas), and Zac Hicks (Cherry Creek Presbyterian Church, Denver) unite worship with themes of mission, disciple-making, the Word of God, the Trinity, family, and more.

Download the chapter by Mike Cosper, "The Worship Leader and Creativity"

Interesting

foreverlearning — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 21:27:24 GMT

Yesterday my Mum and Dad came for a visit. For once it was quite pleasant. When things would start to get heated between Mum and myself we would both pull back and let it go. That hasn't happened before. I feel they are both feeling unwanted by my sisters and myself. That we don't need them anymore and we have our own lives. Funny thing is that when my sisters and I needed help, we'ld ask Mum and she would turn us down and say no. Dad would be oblivious to this because when I became aware of this I'ld ask him instead and he'ld say yes. Then Mum would get all cranky with me as she wasn't in control. As for the help it was generally when we were sick or needed help with their Grandchildren. Now they think their Grandchildren and us don't need them or see them very often. Anyway I spoke with my eldest daughter about contacting them more and I'll visit them more often too. As Sean said she is still my Mum no matter what she's done/ does and I need to respect her. My husband doesn't like visiting them as one night we stayed overnight for my Grandmothers funeral and Mum went off on a rage, yelling and screaming, in front of our children. All because we didn't go back to the house when she wanted us to. We were at the wake talking to my cousins. I felt so sorry for Dad, he was trying to calm her down and all my husband wanted to do was leave for home. He took off early the next morning before anyone was out of bed for work. Since then he's stayed over one night and hasn't been to visit since Christmas 2011. He's not to keen on going down. Actually who do I listen to with this? As this could be under the leave and cleave dare.

Day 7 - Love Believes the Best

beforethevows — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 21:03:00 GMT

The list. This was the easy part. My positives filled up a page easily and I could have kept going if I had really thought about it. The negatives were few. But sometimes it’s so hard to see those positives. Hearing him curse and rant over a final not going well. His temper is the top on that list of negatives. And while it’s never turned on me, sometimes what I see, what I hear, it’s just so black. And part of me wants to run before I ever make this a lifelong commitment, because we all know there is no such thing as changing someone. They have to want to change themselves. When I think back to where I was a few years ago, this place he is, but slightly different and realize I’ve changed, I feel hope. And I pray that he will too make it through this and into light. Sometimes it feels hopeless. How can I ever expect this much dark to go away? It’s so much more than I’ve ever seen in anyone. But I love him. And I want to make this work. So I pray instead. I pray that he sees the light and walks to it, embraces it. That he turns his back on the dark and all the bad he’s seen and been through and thought and witnessed through two deployments. Yesterday my faith in this wavered. Today it’s stronger. One day at a time. One prayer at a time. May God guide him to his greatest good, no matter what that may be or what path it takes. I just want him to be well. Happy. To love me, yes, selfishly of course I want that too. Part of him does I know. But sometimes that darkness just seems so overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like he will never fully let me in. There’s been different diagnosis’s thrown around. PTSD. Sociopath. I don’t know if they’re all true or false or if the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I just know that I’m gonna keep praying for the light to win.

Day 6 - Learning to add margins

beforethevows — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 15:16:00 GMT

I’m going to admit, I had a harder time with this dare than any of the previous ones so far. Where do I add margins? Monday thru Friday 8-5 is definitely not margin material since I work (and as much as I wish I could add margin there it’s just not possible financially). So what else? How much time am I selfishly spending doing things for me that I could use better to study the word and spend time with my boyfriend? I’ve already cut back on my gym time, but that’s just coming home to watch tv or work on the computer. So I’m going to try to make better use of that time. Especially now that it’s nice out. Talked with the boyfriend and decided to spend more time talking and reading the bible together. Even talking about planning a camping trip when he gets back in town in May, just us and the dogs. I guess the biggest thing for me to think about on this is how much of my time is used for selfish or unfulfilling reasons. This is one I’m going to carry with me, keep praying on and continuously try to improve. Anyone else have a hard time here?

Alright

foreverlearning — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 07:56:23 GMT

After I wrote here yesterday I spoke with my mentor. She really didn't say to much, but by myself talking it through it helped to put it all in perspective. I was feeling down that for the first time I wasn't able to be there physically for my husband. Both the other times it happened he was here with us and I was in the thick of it all. He'ld talk, yell at us, drink and carry on while trying to work through it all. Well yesterday while talking I remembered Sean's words that God may want us away from all of the chaos. My husband had even said it himself that it may be best we stay away until it settles down. Guess what. It did in the end. He had tea with his boss who explained what was happening. Now things are a lot calmer which is good. Honestly though I felt calmness after remembering that God wanted us away from it all. He was protecting us which is a wonderful thought.

Two INSPY Award Finalists for B&H

DavidSchrader — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 22:28:00 GMT

B&H Publishing Group is pleased to announce two finalists in the INSPY Award category of Mystery/Thriller.

A Plain Death by Amanda Flower was released in July 2012 as the first book in the “Appleseed Creek Mystery” series, set in the heart of Ohio’s Amish Country. Flower’s follow up novel, A Plain Scandal, released in February 2013.

A Plain Death is also a finalist in the Foreword Book of the Year Awards in the religious adult fiction category, as well as in the Retailers Best Awards for Amish fiction. Of Flowers’ writing, USA Today said, “All I can say is . . . bring on the next one!” Library Journal referred to her work as “gentle and thoughtful Christian mystery.”

Gone to Ground by award-winning author Brandilyn Collins is a Southern mystery that features Collins’ Seatbelt Suspense® writing – fast paced action, myriad twists, and an interwoven thread of faith. BookReporter.com said, “Collins not only know how to write very well; she also knows how to write suspenseful page-turners very well.” Publishers Weekly called her “a fine writer who knows how to both horrify readers and keep them turning pages.”

The INSPY’s were created by bloggers to discover and highlight the very best in literature that grapples with expression of the Christian faith. Winners will be announced June 28, 2013.

B&H Publishing Group, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources, is a non-profit publisher made up of people who are passionate about taking God’s Word to the world. Because we believe Every Word Matters™, we seek to provide intentional, Bible-centered content that positively impacts the hearts and minds of people, inspiring them to build a lifelong relationship with Jesus Christ. Among our print and digital releases for the trade, church, and academic markets, titles include The New York Times No. 1 bestsellers The Love Dare and The Vow as well as the award-winning HCSB Study Bible.

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Day 27 - Encourage

Bryan — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:36:13 GMT

Wow, once again the reading echo's our relationship. Her constant disappointment in me. My always having a feeling of living in fear of that disappointment. This probably describes a fairly large chuck of our lives together. "Encourage the exhausted", that would be what I thought I was doing for my wife. "Strengthen the feeble", that would be me and what I needed.

I am sure some of you may feel this way also, but i didn't think I had placed many expectations on my wife. But as we say at work, do a job once for someone and it becomes yours. I would have to say that i brought this philosophy home with me. The more she did the more I expected her to keep doing it. No wonder she used to say I could suck the life right out of her. Its now time to breathe that life back into her. I have made promises to her and to myself that this is a major focus area of improving myself. I am and will continue to work on myself. The best way for me to do that may be a benefit of living a part. Everything and anything I had expected her to do while together I now have to do for myself. I have to rely on me and only me. She isn't here to do it for me. I will gain an understanding of the type of pressure i put on her, and this will only grow into being a better husband, father, friend, and lover. All the things she needed me to be for so long.

Daniel Block on the Naming of Obed (Ruth 4:17)

JakePratt — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 11:00:00 GMT

by Jake Pratt

The following is adapted from Daniel Block's commentary on Judges, Ruth in the New American Commentary series. The post below addresses Ruth 4:17, the last verse in the book of Ruth just before a concluding genealogy (4:18-22). Ruth 4:17 culminates a broader section of the book which Block has titled "The Genealogical Resolution."

________________________

Ruth 4:17 - The women living there said, “Naomi has a son.” And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.

The Women’s Naming of the Child (4:17a-b)

4:17a-b - The story of Boaz, Ruth, and Naomi comes to a fitting conclusion in the naming of the son born to Ruth. But this last statement is also extraordinary for several reasons. First, this is the only place in the Old Testament where females (other than the mother) are said to be present at the naming event. A more literal rendering of v. 17a-b makes this more clear: “And the neighbors [i.e., women] called for him a name saying, ‘A son has been born to Naomi,’ and they called his name Obed.” The narrator personalizes the event somewhat by designating these women šĕkēnôt, “neighbors,” rather than using a more generic expression like hannāšîm, “the women,” in v. 14. His comment does not mean that neither Ruth nor Boaz had a say in the naming of the child—such a notion would be ludicrous. This event must have involved the women affirming the name given to the child by his mother or father, but the narrator appropriately casts it in a literary form that has the “female chorus,” as representatives of the community, celebrating his birth and declaring its significance.

Second, the text is redundant. Twice the narrator notes that the neighbors “named” the boy. The verse begins with “and they called for him … a name saying,” but then four words later reads “and they called his name Obed.” Stylistically the formulas differ slightly (“for him a name” versus “his name”), but as it stands the literary effect is to invite the reader to associate the utterance following the first (“A son has been born to Naomi!”) with the name “Obed.” Even so the order of explanation + name reverses the normal biblical sequence of name + explanation. In keeping with the pattern elsewhere, one would have expected a much simpler “And they called his name Obed, saying, ‘A son has been born to Naomi.’” But the redundancy seems to signal a climactic moment in the narrative.

Third, the declaration, “A son has been born to Naomi,” has the conventional form of an ancient Near Eastern birth announcement. Biblical analogues are found in Isa 9:6[Hb. 5] and Jer 20:15. In each case the announcement consists of a third masculine singular of the verb yld, “to give birth,” the passive stem, followed by bn, “a son,” as the subject and introducing the benefactor with a preposition (lĕ, “to”): “A son has been born to X!” The form of the announcement has its origin in the familiar context of a father waiting outside a delivery room for word from the midwife of the safe arrival of a child. Because of this family’s need for a gō’ēl, the fact that this child is a boy will have heightened the excitement of the women and Naomi.

Fourth, as already intimated, unlike other naming events, the name Obed is left unexplained. Any reader of Hebrew knows the name is a participle form of ‘ābad, “to serve.” Obed, “one who serves,” is a hypocoristic (abbreviated version) of “Obadiah, servant of Yahweh,” a name held by no fewer than a dozen men in the Old Testament and attested in numerous Hebrew seals, or Abdiel, “servant of God.” By dropping the appellation for God, however, this name is rendered ambiguous. Is the boy viewed as a servant of God or as a servant of Naomi? If the former applies, then he represents an agent of God born to Naomi to take away the bitterness she accuses God of having imposed on her in 1:20-21 and to redeem the estate of her husband. If the latter applies, then his service to Naomi must be more direct. This son is her redeemer, the one who has come to serve her by restoring her life and offering her security in her old age.

The Narrator’s Conclusion (4:17c)

The story of Ruth ends on a surprising but climactic interpretive note. In the mind of the narrator, the historical significance of the birth of Obed does not lie in the resolution he brings to the personal crises of the characters in this book. Nor does he derive his significance from valorous deeds either of mercy or power. Neither the present narrator nor any other Old Testament author writes any stories about him. On the contrary, the birth of Obed has historical significance because he lives on and achieves his significance through the lives of his son Jesse and particularly his grandson David. Through David the blessing of the male witnesses to the court proceedings (4:11) is fulfilled; Boaz’s name is “called out” in Bethlehem. And through David the prayer of the female witnesses to the birth of Obed is fulfilled; Obed’s name is “called out” in Israel. Indeed, to this day their names and the names of Naomi and Ruth are “called out” all over the world as their story is read. In the providence of God the genuine piety of all the major characters is rewarded, and the divine plan for Israel and her kings is fulfilled.

________________________

Daniel I. Block is the Gunther H. Knoedler professor of Old Testament at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Illinois. He holds degrees from the University of Saskatchewan, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, and University of Liverpool and has lectured and preached in Russia, Denmark, and China.

Day 5 - Love is not Rude

beforethevows — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 10:39:00 GMT

I was strangely excited about this dare when I read it. I figured hearing what annoys, irritates or embarrasses my boyfriend about me would be a good chance to put into practice what I’ve learned the last few days. To not say anything negative, to listen to what he was saying and to find a chance to better serve my relationship. I guess he wasn’t willing to open up though, because when I asked he said nothing I do annoys him. I tried asking a couple different ways but decided not to really push it either. Instead I thought back to some of the things he had told me in the past (especially about bringing up things in the past, lack of trust and talking to him in a rude or condescending manner), and vowed to change those things within myself and for him even if he didn’t bring it up again. Reading other journals on here has been a huge eye opener for me. I’m lucky. Really lucky for the life and relationship I have. It’s not always perfect, but I know if I keep focus on God and on serving that everything will fall into place according to his plan. Though more and more often it seems that any strengthening of my relationship with my boyfriend is a side benefit to first finding a relationship with God. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to take this dare. My eyes have been opened.

Challenge

foreverlearning — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 06:34:11 GMT

Today's been more challenging. I seemed to be worried about my husband's situation. It hit me that my worry stems from a lack of trust in my husband. If he quits this job he could return to drinking again. It's quite on the cards that he could as a new boss has taken over and people are quitting already. My husband had a run in with him the very first day he met him. It's not looking good. I guess my fears are taking over again. Today I read in that book to expect the worst behaviour from somebody. In other words I'm to expect him to hit the bottle. That's what he's always done anyway. By doing this then I turn my hope to the Lord, rather than on my husband. It does make sense in a funny way. Everyone says to think positive then it'll work out. Well this is the opposite, around the other way. I can see the sense though. It's like not expecting my Mum to be any other way then what she's always been. I guess it's no different. That's what I'll do. I'll let my husband go again and focus instead on the Lord.

Book Giveaway Winner: 1, 2 Peter, Jude by Thomas R. Schreiner

ChrisCowan — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:42:00 GMT

Congratulations to the winner of this week's giveaway: Brian Renshaw.

Brian will receive a copy of Thomas Schreiner's 1, 2 Peter, Jude in the New American Commentary series.

Day 26 - Responsible

Bryan — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:47:51 GMT

My journey so far has evolved from praying for my marriage not to fail to where it is today. Daily asking for forgiveness for the sins I have knowingly committed and the sins I have unknowingly committed. I pray for strength, guidance, and the wisdom for myself, my wife, and my children that we may by our actions and decisions be doing God's will. I am also thankful for all the blessings that God has given me through out my life so far. It may not seem like I have traveled very far to some, but every one's journey to Christ is different and unique to that person. Understanding what these dares are meant to do are also different and unique to each individual. The end results are meant to be the same, but the paths to get there will be different for everyone. Becoming one with God is the ultimate goal. For me it is sometimes the simplest concepts that are the hardest for me to grasp. I tend to think and over think them. Ask and you shall be forgiven, how simple yet so complicated. Simply ask. i have to put aside and just ask. I can't have eternal life without asking for and receiving God's forgiveness. I can and do ask for that very thing daily and I have taken the responsibility that it was me that committed these sins, nobody else did it for me.

I have written letters to my wife, humbling myself and taking the responsibility for my actions. It is not an easy thing to do. It opens one's heart up to be truely hurt. That hurt is usually self inflicted, but it also allows God to enter and for the healing process (the journey to Christ) to begin. It is that healing between oneself and God that needs to take place first. That is another step of my journey that was hard for me to accept. I wanted my relationship with my wife to come first. Here is another step, its not what I want, it is what God wants, because He is truly the only one who does know what is best for me.

My wife has told me that she has forgiven me and for that I am thankful. But, she has also told me that forgiveness doesn't fix the problems. This is yet another step on my journey. I have to constantly strive to better myself, to work on these problems. I cannot do these thing on my own, I need God to be in my life. Seeking oneness with God has gotten me this far. It hasn't been easy and there is still a long way to go. I trust in God and that is what I need to do. No ifs, ands or buts, it is to simply put your trust in God and quit over analyzing everything. Let the Holy Spirit do what it needs to do. Grow closer to God with every moment of the day.

Day 4 - Love is Thoughtful

beforethevows — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 11:39:00 GMT

In terms of the dares, calling to ask if my boyfriend needed anything has probably been the easiest. I take pride in the fact that even after a year plus I still make time every day to call or text and ask how his day is, how his school is going and if he needs me to do anything during the course of my work day or on my way home. I made it a point to call and talk to him today though rather than text. Things went well and he thanked me for the gift from yesterday and apologized for not spending much time with or talking to me the night before. An all around win I would say.

This was another one of those eye opening chapters for me. It’s not I wasn’t aware men and women communicate differently, I was. Sometimes it just takes hearing or reading the same thing again to really strike home for me. I’ve resolved to spend more time listening and less “hearing” and then turning things into whatever I think they are. To ask questions if I am confused about something he says or if I interpret something one way and he means something else. The main lesson for me today is communication in all areas. How can I be a better listener to what he desires, needs and wants? How can I better communicate the same? I realized the same thing about praying. Being so new at really making a concentrated effort to talk to God daily sometimes I feel so painfully lost with what I’m saying and if I’m conveying the right message. Then it struck me, with God I don’t have to hint. I can just say what I feel is right and then I need to let it rest in His hands and His wisdom. I ended the day with a great feeling of peace. Finally I don’t feel like I HAVE to be in control of everything, I can let go and let God. I’m ready to trust the process, whatever He may have in store for me.

Amazing

foreverlearning — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 09:10:46 GMT

I've been feeling really good today. The constant praying seems to be helping me a lot. My husband has been having work problems and normally I get all caught up in it. This time I've been saying a prayer for him each time I pray and I'm a lot more peaceful. I haven't lost any sleep over it and seeing I'm praying hourly there's hardly time for me to worry about it. It's amazing!!!

Today I read about being stewards for our Heavenly Father. This includes relationships as well as material possessions. Ultimately they don't belong to us, the Lord gives them to us to take care of. To me this means just as Seans been saying, I am to pray for the Lord to help my husband to find him and allow him to work in his life. No matter how that would be. Again this has been eye-opening for me. I wasn't raised this way. It's totally different to what I saw but I can feel the peace already with it.

God’s Unfinished Story (Must Read)

Rick H — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 19:33:31 GMT

Note; Sorry for the length of this. It will be worth it. Do NOT SKIP AHEAD no matter what. That also will be worth it.

The last time I wrote journal entry it was about the only time that I actually saw my wife in the 2 weeks she was here in Virginia. That was very strange for me, I admit, but when you are close to Christ every day or strive to be, the longing for humans dissipates considerably. There is no question that having her here and not seeing her hurt some, but it wasn’t a heartache bad pain, seemed to feel more like the pain I imagine God must feel when we, His beloved children pull away from Him, the pain the father of the Prodigal Son must have felt when releasing his son to the world. This is, I think, a very difficult feeling for humans to understand. How could you possibly love a person who treats you so bad? Many of these people claim to be Christians, yet they cannot grasp a concept that our Savior left very clear instructions on in His Living Word:
Matthew 5:39 “But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

For the last few days I have stood at a unique place in this journey, a different vantage point as it is. I am no longer viewing my marriage, which was the catalyst for beginning, or rather restarting this journey, as a past or even present story, but rather as a future story. And it has made realize that story may be one of the God’s unfinished stories, that in fact, like Moses standing at the entrance to the land of Canaan, I am viewing that which I may never experience. I do not know the Lord’s will nor do I have control over my wife, nor any of her lovers, nor the events which transpire and do not involve me personally.

I just finished the book “A Praying Life” this morning. In that book the author uses the desert as a metaphor for those uncomfortable, lost moments, those moments in which we seek, but seemingly don’t find. In the early days of this journey, I often referred to those as “teaching moments”. The thing is, our Lord teaches at His own pace and in His own time. This is how it is when we pray, He answers not with our will but His, not in our time but His. Yet He is with us and speaking to us all the time. So many times we are listening but do not hear, we are being told, but do not accept. Our Father gives us what we need while we search and pray for what we want.

I want the restoration of my marriage, yes, but is that what God wants? I want my wife to feel the pang of her sins and repent, yes, but is that what God wants? Why wouldn’t he want that? Why wouldn’t He reward me for my faithfulness, for my suffering, for my prayers and hope? If with God all things are possible, why would this not be possible with perseverance, prayer, steadfastness, and eternal hope? Am I being told to give up this hope? With my marriage things are looking bleak in the face of this hope. My wife is committed to divorce and it seems has truly moved on to a new relationship, I can feel it in my being and all the outward signs are there. How could this be happening?

I look up the definition of hope; A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen (noun), Want something to happen or be the case (verb). The synonyms offer no clues either with the exception of trust and promise. Now we are getting closer to the heart of the matter… trust and promise. I call on the scriptures
Romans 8:24-25; 24 For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one also hope for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
Taken together it can be said that hope is unseen, it is in the future, and we must wait with perseverance. We must trust in Christ and His promise of hope, that through Him all things are possible.

Back to “A Praying Life”. As I worked through the final chapters this morning, hopefully seeking solace, the author is drawing me more and more into the realization that God is weaving our stories, each story of each person. When our stories intersect with each other, then it is part of His plan, His story. As I am reading the book, I am interspersing my reading with time in the scriptures and time in prayer. I begin the final chapter, called Unfinished Stories. The note is made that if we take notice we can see the Lord weaving His tapestry, telling the story…. but NOT ALWAYS.

There are times when we are part of a larger story that God is weaving, one that we will not see the end of. These are the times when things just don’t make sense, when it seems as we have been forsaken by He who would put our trust in. That is when our faith is tested, put to the limit. The author points out the Babylonians conquest of Israel, the destruction of Solomon’s temple, the sons of the king murdered in front of him before he is blinded and led away in shackles. Israel was finished. Even the return from captivity some 60 years later offered no hope as the people wept at their makeshift temple while remembering the glory of Solomon’s temple. It seemed as if nothing would ever be the same again. The words of the prophet Haggai offer the only hope, albeit an unseen one, In Haggai chapter 2, he relates God’s word that He will shake the heavens and earth, fill His house with glory, and, in verse 9 “the latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former glory”. Not a single person who heard any of Haggai’s words lived to see them fulfilled, nor did even their grandchildren as God seemingly fell silent for over 500 years. ******

Yet during those 500 years, God created the synagogue structure that was the precursor to today’s churches, the Old Testament was organized… leading eventually to the New Testament, Israel was purified and became monotheistic, and the Jewish people were dispersed in the world, giving Paul and the other Apostles a base from which they could more easily spread the gospel of Christ. Essentially, while God was being “quiet” for those 500 some years, He laid the entire foundation for Christian thought and Western civilization as we know it today!

Thus it is with God’s unfinished stories. God knows what He’s doing and He never has an unfinished story, not for any one of us. No matter where we are now, He has something in mind for us. He is the Father and what He has in mind is what we need, but it is in His time, at His pace, at the perfect time. It is a sweet irony that I am currently taking a class on Revealing The Mysteries of Heaven as I read this and wrote this entry, as the author draws the conclusion that unfinished stories aren’t always tied up until we reach heaven and that living in those stories draws us into what will be God’s final act, the return of Jesus.

As I read that chapter, I found myself alone in my townhouse and on my knees in tears praising the Father for the third time in this journey. This entry was going to end with my assertion that I may have to accept my marriage as one of God’s unfinished stories, but then…..

And now, my friends, I will tell you how our AWESOME and unbelievable Lord not only finished the story, but surprised and delighted this humble servant, who was and shall remain forever in the debt of His love, glory, and forgiveness! At the very moment that I finished the paragraph above which ends with 500 years.***** , my phone rang and it was my son telling me that my GRANDDAUGHTER had been born this morning at 11:30 AM. Praise the Lord!!

At that moment, all thoughts of my wife , the problems of my marriage, and everything that I have been writing about here for the last 5 months disappeared in a cloud of love for a baby girl that I haven’t even laid eyes on yet , but cannot wait to. God does leave some stories unfinished, but as all things are possible through Him, He always has another, even better story ready to go! PRAISE the Father, PRAISE the Son, how blessed we are to have a God of miracles!!

Ordinary People with Extraordinary Hearts

DavidSchrader — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 18:13:00 GMT

Inspired by the film Unconditional and Papa Joe Bradford’s outreach to at-risk children, Unconditional Love gathers real-life stories celebrating the best in everyday people who have found special ways to act as the hands and feet of Jesus in their time and place. Through them we see what matters most in this life, we stir our God-made desire to help others in need, and the world becomes a better place.

Among those whose stories will inspire you:

• Rock band Jars of Clay, whose trip to Africa resulted in their ministry Blood: Water Mission that provides life-saving water and health care to 600,000+ people

• 80-year-old Helen Ash, whose Love Kitchen ministry feeds 2,000 homeless each week

• A teenage boy who lost his leg raises money to provide other children with prosthetics

• A teenage girl who collected over 120,000 for children’s shelters

These stories and more—bringing our lives into clearer social and spiritual focus—are combined with inspirational quotes, a Bible reading plan, and other tools to encourage further self-discovery and greater personal outreach.

Ripken's Book "Hard to Put Down"

DavidSchrader — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 16:24:00 GMT

Nik Ripken's The Insanity of God tells an amazing true story of a missionary couple's journey into the toughest places on earth.

Challies.com takes a closer look at the book in the post, "God Performs Miracles Today!"

ThinkingChristian.net says, "I loved this book. The story is continually absorbing. The message is deeply challenging."

GospelRenewal.com states, "From the incredibly dark years in Somalia (during the height of famine and genocide) to the soul-refreshing interviews with persecuted Christians around the world, Ripken tells a harrowing story that is hard to put down."

Brother Andrew, found of Open Doors International, says, "This is a book that every well-meaning Christian ought to read. It gives the most comprehensive overview of what life is like for the true followers of Jesus who are willing to pay the whole price for following Him. Extremely touching at times. It makes you cry and it makes you laugh. But remember they are your brothers and mine. Therefore we have a responsibility of standing with them as part of the body of Christ worldwide."

Time to get back on track

Bryan — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 12:44:16 GMT

Enjoyed a week of vacation in sunny California with my mother and sister. It was a well deserved and need break from the everyday life. I took a short break from the dares, but not from God. I know he was there with me. He provided us with safe travel, great weather, family and friends, and places to visit that only He could have made.

I may not have done any dares, but that didn't mean I was blind to the love I saw and heard while there. Young love, old love, majestic scenery, His hand was in it all and I was able to witness it. I have been there a few times before, but never was I closer to God then this time. Even got great support and advice from afar. "Don't give up hope" and "Step back and let God do the work"

Peace, Hope, and Love to you all on your journey's with God. Stand back and get out of God's way. Let the master work, we are nothing but his canvas.

Bryan

How to Care for Orphans Beyond Adopting

DavidSchrader — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 12:29:00 GMT

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. Based on his own personal journey toward pure religion, Johnny Carr moves readers from talking about global orphan care to actually doing something about it in Orphan Justice.

Here's what other ministries are saying about this remarkable new book:

"As someone who works on the front lines of orphan care, I appreciated Carr’s clarity and insight into the needs that orphans have. Orphan Justice is an eye-opening and honest look not only at their plight, but also how to best put our good intentions into practice."
Caring4Orphans.com

"Throughout the book Carr does a good job of reminding readers that understanding the gospel helps to better understand our position and responsibility in light of worldwide suffering. Reflecting on Christians’ vertical adoption through Christ’s death on the cross helps Christians better understand horizontal (earthly) adoption. Orphan Justice was an enlightening read."
Mercy Found Ministries

"Just becoming aware of what is happening in the adoption world today is a first step for many of us. This book will help grow awareness; so read it! And share it!"
MercyIsNew.com

"This book is amazing for anyone wanting to learn more about orphan care. For families going through adoption, but feeling like adoption is NOT enough. For church pastors and ministry leaders wanting to help their church step up to God's call/command in James 1:27 "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." I encourage each and every one of you to get your hands on this book. It is one of the greatest books on how to care for orphans in so many ways!"
DefendingTheCauseOfTheFatherless.com

Day 3 - Love is not Selfish

beforethevows — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 11:38:00 GMT

Yesterdays dare didn’t go quite as I anticipated. “Buy something that says I was thinking of you today.” This part was easy as he has had his eye on some seat covers for his car that he hadn’t picked up yet, so I went and got them. Honestly I think this is one of both our strong points. We frequently see things we know the other person would like and pick them up to say hey I thought of you when I saw this. What I didn’t expect was to come home to find him taking a final for school. I tried to show him what I got and he kind of just brushed me off. We didn’t wind up talking at all before I went to bed since he was still taking his test. That part was a bit of a let down. I was excited and wanted him to be to. But I didn’t say anything, just made him some dinner to eat while he took his test, rubbed his back a few times in the middle and eventually just fell asleep.

On another note, this chapter really struck home for me. Some of it I went “oh I already know this. I need to invest more of myself into this relationship to really make it work.” But then I started thinking, how much of my time have I really invested in a relationship with God? As I’ve mentioned in the past I was raised with no real religious background (half Jewish, half Catholic to be exact) and it isn’t until the last year or so that I’ve found myself really seeking God. Sometimes I feel like 28 is a little late to start, but through my readings I’m seeing that in God’s eyes it is NEVER too late to want to build a relationship with Him. It’s also really made me question my motives. Am I seeking the highest good in all of this or am I trying to change someone against his will? More and more I realize that any building of a stronger relationship between me and my boyfriend is a side benefit. The biggest benefit is the relationship I’m building with God. Excited to see what Day 4 has in store for me.

William Carey (Seven Summits Worth Climbing in Church History)

ChrisCowan — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 07:25:00 GMT

Jonathan Edwards
Seven Summits Worth Climbing in Church History
by  Jason G. Duesing

“He keeps the grand end in view.” After arriving in India in September 1796, John Fountain used these words to describe his first impressions of William Carey (1761-1834). A missionary pioneer, organizer, catalyst, survivor, and inspiration, Carey lived 73 full years and changed the modern world. J. H. Kane argues that Carey’s missions tract, An Enquiry, was “a landmark in Christian history and deserves a place alongside Martin Luther’s Ninety-five Theses.” Carey’s nephew attributed much of Carey’s fruitful longevity to “invincible patience in labour, and uninterrupted constancy.” Carey would not agree with these assessments. In his words, if one were to “give me credit for being a plodder, he will describe me justly. Anything beyond this will be too much. I can plod.”

Born in a small village to a devout Anglican family, Carey regularly attended church but experienced no major life transformation. By his teens he apprenticed as a shoemaker in a neighboring town and through the persistent witness of his co-worker, John Warr, Carey saw his need for a Savior. Soon after his conversion, he left the Church of England and attended a Congregationalist church while intently reading and studying the Scriptures. When faced with the quandary of defending from the Bible his own infant baptism, Carey sought aid from John Ryland Sr., the pastor of College Lane Baptist Church in Northampton. In October 1783, Carey received believer’s baptism from the pastor’s son, John Ryland Jr. Shortly thereafter, another pastor encouraged Carey to preach for a small congregation while maintaining his shoemaking trade. By 1785, Carey accepted a vocational pastorate in Moulton. There he established a friendship with Baptist pastor Andrew Fuller of neighboring Kettering.

During this time Carey’s regular reading of the voyages of Captain James Cook opened his eyes to the world. In addition, Robert Hall Sr.’s Help to Zion’s Travellers, a doctrinal primer molded from the evangelical theology of Jonathan Edwards and distinct from the hyper-Calvinist climate in England among Baptists, helped shape Carey’s theological thinking more than any other book outside the Bible. With a theology that held the sovereignty of God in balance with the responsibility of man and a growing zeal to see the saving message of the Lord Jesus taken to the ends of the earth, Carey set out to organize his thoughts for accomplishing this task. After wrestling with the Great Commission in Matthew 28, Carey raised the notion of global evangelism at a minister’s meeting in 1785, but was told he “was a most miserable enthusiast for asking such a question.” Despite the discouragement, Carey continued his planning and, as Timothy George notes, his “concern for the unevangelized heathen in distant lands did not slacken his zeal to share the good news of Jesus Christ with sinners at home.”

In 1789, Carey went to pastor the Harvey Lane Church in Leicester. By May 1792 he published An Enquiry into the Obligations of Christians to use Means for the Conversion of the Heathens, an argument that the Great Commission remained as a mandate for all churches. Nathan Finn argues that Carey’s Enquiry is merely the application of what he first learned from Robert Hall’s doctrinal primer to foreign missions. In the Enquiry, Carey answered common objections to the idea of cross-cultural evangelism as well as documenting, in great detail, the vast numbers of people outside of Christ. As Timothy George explains, “Carey’s statistics were more than mere numbers on a chart. They represented persons, persons made in the image of God and infinitely precious to Him.” At the next meeting of the Baptist Association, Carey preached a sermon from Isaiah 54 calling for the transmission of the gospel overseas, encouraging his hearers to “Expect great things. Attempt great things.” Lest one think the staid work of church association meetings, convention sermons, and denominational resolutions are a hindrance for gospel advance, consider that the launch of the most wide reaching missions movement began in a small free church association meeting following a sermon with the formal passing of a resolution that read, “Resolved, that a plan be prepared against the next Ministers’ meeting at Kettering, for forming a Baptist Society for propagating the Gospel among the Heathen.”

In October 1792, the Baptist Missionary Society was formed and Carey stepped forward to join the first deployment to India. Of that day Fuller recounted, “Our undertaking to India really appeared to me, on its commencement, to be somewhat like a few men, who were deliberating about the importance of penetrating a deep mine, which had never before been explored. We had no one to guide us; and, while we were thus deliberating, Carey, as it were, said, ‘Well, I will go down if you will hold the rope.’ But before he went down, he, as it seemed to me, took an oath from each of us at the mouth of the pit to this effect, that while we lived we should never let go the rope.” Carey made preparations to depart and when writing to his father, he resolved, “I have many sacrifices to make … But I have set my hand to the plough” (Luke 9:62).

Carey and family arrived in Bengal in November 1793 and endured immediate hardship. In October 1794, the Careys lost their five year old son, Peter, to illness, and this tragedy, along with other trials, wreaked havoc on both Careys, especially his wife. Paul Pease explains, “Over the past sixteen months Dorothy had suffered many hardships, hurts, losses, and fears: the sad and frantic farewells in England, the long voyage with a young baby, the culture shock of India, the uncertainty of the numerous moves, the humiliation and pain of dysentery, her sister left in Debhata, and now the death of her five year old son. It all became too much for her, and she seemed to retreat from all reality.” Further, the first seven years saw very little spiritual fruit. Writing to his sister in November 1798, Carey said, “No one expects me to write about experience, or any of the common topics of Religion; nor to say anything about the Doctrines of the Gospel, but News, and continual accounts of marvelous things are expected from me. I have however no news to send, and as everything here is the same, no Marvels …. at best we scarcely expect to be anything more than Pioneers to prepare the Way for those who coming after us may be more useful than we have been.” However, in 1799 Carey moved his family to Serampore and joined with two other missionaries, Joshua Marshman and William Ward. Known now as the Serampore Trio, the three established the Serampore Mission and, in 1800, saw their first convert. From there the legacy of the “Father of Modern Missions” grew chiefly through Bible translation and as the trailblazer for scores of future missionaries.

George notes that Carey stands most clearly in the Reformation tradition in his confidence in the Scriptures and lifelong labor to see their translation into 40 distinct languages. Carey’s plan to evangelize India was simply: “Preach the gospel, translate the Bible, and establish schools. Proclamation, translation, education.” Haykin notes that even though some have argued that the title “Father of Modern Missions” is not accurate, in the end there is no denying that Carey had a titanic influence. Nathan Finn reminds that Carey “was keenly aware that he was in continuity with a movement that had already commenced, even entitling the second chapter of his Enquiry ‘a short Review of former Undertakings for the Conversion of the Heathen.’” In the end Carey clearly was “the first to create a missions-sending agency and to be sent in an organized and formal manner.” William Carey died in 1834 leaving instructions that his tombstone read, “A wretched, poor, and helpless worm, On thy kind arms I fall.” Despite world-reaching legacy and fame, Carey departed in faithfulness, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of his faith (Heb 12:2). He kept the grand end in view.

Further Reading:

Center for the Study of the Life and Work of William Carey: http://www.wmcarey.edu/carey/index2.html
Daniel L. Akin. Ten Who Changed the World. B&H, 2012.
Michael A. G. Haykin. “Just before Judson: The Significance of Carey’s Life, Thought, and Ministry,” in Adoniram Judson. B&H Academic, 2012.
Timothy George. Faithful Witness: The Life and Mission of William Carey. New Hope, 1991.
Brian Stanley. The History of the Baptist Missionary Society 1792-1992. T&T Clark, 1992.
Daniel Webber. William Carey and the Missionary Vision. Banner of Truth, 2005.

Epiphany

foreverlearning — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 03:39:48 GMT

Many different things are starting to come into my life now. My mentor suggested a book to me which recommends praying around 12 times a day. This will help me to develop a relationship with the Lord. So far I've prayed about 4 times. I just set the stove timer for an hour and when it goes off, in I go to pray. That works well for me. In the sermon I listened to yesterday the pastor said a prayer that resonated with me so I wrote it down. This is the prayer I've been saying today -

Dear God,

I'm amazed at how much you love me. Thank you that your love for me is wide enough to go every where that I go. Thank you that it's long enough to last forever. For God you will never stop loving me. Thank you God that your love is deep enough to handle all of my problems and God thank you that it's high enough to overlook all of my sins, all of my mistakes, my faults, my failures and the places where I've blown it. And God I want to feel accepted rather than ashamed. Lord I need your peace God that passes all understanding. Lord even in the pain in my life God when I don't understand I need you there and God I need your courage to take some risks to go after my dreams. As best as I know how I surrender every particle and room of my life. God I want to learn to love you back because you love me so much and God I want to spend the rest of my life with that first calling of letting you love me.

I pray this in your name,

Amen

Today I relistened to the sermon from the other day. It's amazing what else I picked up. It was from a series called What on Earth Am I Here For. The first one is The Call is For You

The first point was that I was called by God even before I was born.

The second was - My sins and my mistakes do not cancel out the call of God in my life and neither do the mistakes of other people. God wants to use these experiences.

They both struck me. Just because I've been hurt in whatever manner does not excuse me from God's calling or doing God's work. Wow!!!!! There is no excuse, he still wants me to live for him, to be with him. No matter how damaged and bad I think/feel I am. He still loves me. He still wants me with him, under his wing. Even if others say I'm not good enough. He thinks I am. He believes I am good enough. Wow!!!!!

National Day of Prayer: May 2

DavidSchrader — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:05:00 GMT

The National Day of Prayer is coming up on May 2, and some recent B&H books have inspired us to share these prayer requests with you:

Pray for the Orphans of the World

In Orphan Justice, author Johnny Carr moves readers from talking about global orphan care to actually doing something about it, giving us practical steps for getting involved and making a difference today.

Pray for the Persecuted Christians

Nik Ripken, author of The Insanity of God, is the world's leading expert on the persecuted church in Muslim contexts. His book poses a bold question: Will you follow Jesus even when it doesn't make sense?

Pray for Those Making a Difference in Others' Lives

You know those ministries and individuals -- ordinary people with extraordinary hearts. Unconditional Love gathers real-life stories celebrating the best in everyday people who have found special ways to act as the hands and feet of Jesus in their time and place. Pray for them and others you know just like them.

Rnd 3 Love Dare Day 31 Love and Marriage

kpransom — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 22:38:30 GMT

Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.

I read this dare again third time around. I think not only do I leave those things i.e. hobbies, relationships and put them in there proper place. That is what brought me here is the first place. I didn't leave behind those things that didn't bring closer to Christ. Which distorted the priorities and lose sight of what is important. When I loose focus on Him I loose focus on everything that God has for me and my wife. I just heard a pastor speak about praying unceasingly. I can't imagine doing this as a daily thing. But Paul said in his epistle he prayed for the churches night and day.. This pastor likened this to a person who was remodeling his home. often saying that he is dealing with it night and day. He would go about his daily business but would always got back to remodeling his house and all that comes with it. This struck me how about doing this in prayer going about your business going to God in prayer in whatever block of free time that I have. Imagine communing with Him anytime of the day. To my shame I haven't done this. If I practice this night and day would I be in the same situation with my marriage. Like a well known saying hindsight is 20/20. Now that I have been awakened from my slumber my desire now is to cleave to Christ as well as my wife and put away those things that hinder the oneness that God has and wants for our marriage. The pace is slow but constant. Patience is the watch word of the day. My wife keeps thanking me for being patient with her. But it is me who is thankful for God to give me a second chance at a relationship with Him and my wife.

Some recent, helpful books on Bible translation

MicahCarter — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 14:49:00 GMT

Bible translation is both an art and a science. In terms of the scientific side, understanding language(s), grammar/syntax, and hermeneutical principles are at play. On the artistic side, utilizing language in beautiful, clear, and comprehensive ways is at work. Balancing these important aspects requires careful attention and diligent effort -- and it is not as simple as it sounds.

Most translators would argue, I'm sure, that the ultimate goal is to reliably transfer the original languages into today's languages. And Bible publishers come alongside this goal to pursue getting God's Word in the hands of as many people as possible, for the glory of God, the spread of the gospel of Jesus, and the advance of the kingdom. In so doing, decisions are made that typically identify a particular Bible's starting point, or translation philosophy. Is it "word-for-word" or "literal"? Is it "thought-for-thought" or more dynamic in its readability? Must translating the Bible be either/or, or can it be both/and?

Recently, a few books have released into the market that help us think through these kinds of questions as they relate to the major Bible translations -- KJV, NIV, HCSB, ESV, NLT. Of course, there are more translations available than just these, but these specific translation remain in the top ten rankings on a consistent basis (click here for the latest rankings). The following books engage the important issues swirling around in the art and science of Bible translation, seeking clarity on the "how" and "why" certain decisions were made that produced the translations we have.

Which Bible Translation Should I Use?: A Comparison of 4 Major Recent Versions, edited by Andreas Köstenberger and David Croteau (B&H, 2012). The result of a symposium at Liberty University, the contributors discuss the translation approach of the ESV, NIV, HCSB, and NLT through the lens of 16 specific passages of Scripture. A fine contribution to the discussion of Bible translation.

One Bible, Many Versions: Are All Translations Created Equal? by Dave Brunn (IVP, 2013). Brunn's desire is to show how close the major translation actually are in the final analysis. Translations are often defined by their differences, but Brunn skillfully brings light on the complementary relationship between the translations. He also dismantles the rigid distinctions between formal and dynamic translation philosophies by displaying actual data from the translations on how they translate a wide range of Bible verses. Very helpful and clear.

The HCSB: Navigating the Horizons in Bible Translation, but E. Ray Clendenen and David Stabnow (B&H, 2012). You can access and download this book in its entirety for FREE through the link provided. It's worth a read and clarifies many points of similarities and differences that the HCSB has with the other major translations. The HCSB coined an approach called "optimal equivalence" as its translation philosophy. This book unpacks that idea and how it compares with other versions of the Bible.

Pastors, ministry leaders, Bible students and readers of all walks of life can profit from reading these books and thinking through the issues in a fresh way. If the Bible is God's Word, shouldn't we be eager to consider how we've received it into our own language?

Day 20 - Tough to breathe

italy716 — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 13:39:37 GMT

Today is another tough one. I can't seem to figure out how we can have two amazing weeks and then boom he wants to revert back to shutting me out again. Yesterday we talked through the day, said I love you....I got home from work, he got home and wasn't speaking to me. I still don't know why. Of course it takes my nerves and emotions and puts them into a blender. I just keeping saying today's prayer and praying for peace of mind today. We have already been through so much this (I hope) is just a bump in the road. During this time so much of our immediate family has been healed of conflicts that had lasted for years. My husbands daughter moved in with us 3 weeks ago and it is going great....he has mended (or started to) a 10 year feud with his sisters. God has been blessing our family with oneness....I hope he sees that we too can be blessed and be one again. I know that Christ is doing this for a reason and I hope I am seeing his blessings in the right way.

Not having him call me back or return my emails is overwhelming with anxiety.....I just wonder (stupidly) am I on his mind as much as he is on mine? After 19 years together I hope so. I truly pray he has peace of mind today and that his thoughts and heart are in a good place.....

Day 2 - Love is Kind

beforethevows — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:32:00 GMT

Day 2, the unexpected act of kindness. I have to admit I spent a good part of the morning trying to think of what to do. Finally I just got to the point where when doing my daily bible reading on my lunch break at work I simply took a minute to pray for the opportunity and inspiration to do something today when it was right. When I got home I was given my chance. He has to go back to Ohio for some VA appointments and for some PTSD debrief thing that’s required by the Marines. As usual he’s talking about spending at least two weeks up there. This is usually a big bone of contention between us as when he was unfaithful to me, it was always with a girl from his hometown, and he just got back from spending three weeks up there. Instead of the usual argument about it, I simply told him to spend as much time home as he thought he needed and that I would make time to take him to the airport or whatever else he needed my help with. He looked at me like I had two heads. I know he was expecting an argument. In the grand scheme of things maybe this wasn’t the biggest act of kindness, and didn’t involve anything material, but compromising is not always my greatest strength in terms of him heading home as I’ve spent so long fighting past demons from him being there. I’m bummed it will mean so many days apart in the middle of this dare, but also figure it means a chance to really connect with God and to have faith that He is looking out for me and my greater good, and that he will grant me the inspiration to continue even a country apart. On to day 3….

Free eBook: Beauty to Die For

DavidSchrader — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:29:00 GMT

Look what's free today only in eBook format: Beauty to Die For by Kim Alexis and Mindy Starns Clark!

Barnes & Noble

ChristianBook.com

iTunes

Days 13,14 - (Love) Fight Club

Paul — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 22:25:33 GMT

Day 13, Love Fights Fair

Yesterday I called her up to suggest the whole setting ground rules thing. She seemed to think it was pretty pointless, "since you don't live here anymore we don't fight anymore." I just stayed positive, said I thought it might be a good idea, let me know if you'd like to give it a try.

She got in touch this morning to suggest talking about it over coffee which was a pleasant surprise - unfortunately I was a two-hour drive away. I think she's going to try to get a sitter so we can do it tonight, in which case I'll drive home tonight instead of tomorrow. Which brings me to...

Day 14, Love Takes Delight

I'm out of town for work. I could wrap up what I need to today and head home early, but honestly I'm already here and other than giving me more time with my employees that I don't see for months at a time, I really like staying in hotels (especially now that I'm semi-homeless) and eating nice meals I don't have to pay for. This is one of the best parts about my job. However, if she is willing to meet for coffee or wine tonight so we can discuss this, I will forgo my personal evening away to meet up.

I almost feel like this is cheating the dare, but not really. I'm neglecting something I would normally do, but mainly because she is willing to help with the dare from the day before. But she's already said yes, so I'll bring Scrabble for us to play (which she loves).

----

So for the Love Fights Fair guidelines, does anyone have any pearls of wisdom? There are a lot of "duh" ones I can think of - no screaming, no name-calling, no stabbing or poisoning during or after. But has anyone come up with any, or heard of any, that are particularly clever/helpful that the average Joe and Jane might not think of?

B&H Acquires Rights to Rainbow Study Bible

DavidSchrader — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 20:39:00 GMT

B&H Publishing Group has purchased the Rainbow Study Bible line from Standard Publishing Group, an acquisition that further strengthens the company’s respected Holman Bible Publishers brand and its passion for taking God’s Word to the world.

A regular best seller since 1995, the Rainbow Study Bible features a unique color-coding system that allows readers to quickly and easily identify twelve major themes of Scripture throughout the text: God, discipleship, love, faith, sin, evil, salvation, family, outreach, commandments, history, and prophecy. The system also underlines all words directly spoken by God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

“Our team is thrilled to acquire the Rainbow Study Bible,” said B&H president Selma Wilson. “We are intentionally grounded in God’s Word at B&H, so to officially add this powerful resource to our publishing program is exciting. We have a great history with the Spanish edition and have seen how this product speaks into peoples’ lives. B&H is grateful to our friends at Standard for their stewardship of this resource over the years and we look forward to growing and managing the Rainbow Study Bible for many years to come.”

B&H plans to begin selling Standard’s remaining English editions of the Rainbow Study Bible inventory within the next thirty days to its retail partners. In summer 2014, the company will introduce updated editions in both English and Spanish translations. B&H has published the Reina-Valera Revision (RVR) edition in Spanish since 1996, and it is available for retailers to purchase today.

Holman Bible Publishers’ roots go back to the mid-1700s. In recent years it commissioned the acclaimed HCSB translation and developed the popular Apologetics Study Bible as well as the ECPA Award-winning HCSB Study Bible. Holman is also the largest publisher of Spanish Bibles in the United States.

Retail partners can contact B&H at1-800-251-3225 to order all Rainbow Study Bible editions.

B&H Publishing Group, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources, is a non-profit publisher made up of people who are passionate about taking God’s Word to the world. Because we believe Every Word Matters™, we seek to provide intentional, Bible-centered content that positively impacts the hearts and minds of people, inspiring them to build a lifelong relationship with Jesus Christ. Among our print and digital releases for the trade, church, and academic markets, titles include The New York Times No. 1 bestsellers The Love Dare and The Vow as well as the award-winning HCSB Study Bible.

BHPublishingGroup.com

###

Day 19 - Confused

italy716 — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 17:02:08 GMT

The weekend was another roller coaster. The week had been good...even good during the day on Friday. He came home and something set him off on his drive because his mood had completely shifted to anger and wanting me to move out in 30 days. Saturday came and I noticed our picture he had on his night stand was gone but then he came home from the grocery store with my favorite flowers...what is that about??? Saturday was nice....I didn't bring up the picture...I just prayed for him to have peace in his heart. Sunday we had a great family day, went to a movie together and today we have had a few call with each other all which were great. I keep praying that God will keep my mind focused and not allow me to become selfish or emotional during this....although so very difficult to do. So many times during the day I notice my old selfish self creeping up and I have to consciously re think the situation and how I am reacting to it. I don't know what to do when he gets in these fits of emotions....of course i would be reacting the same way if not worse. I am emotionally exhausted.....

What a challenge.... all praise to god

sheldonie — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 12:34:13 GMT

Well I haven't written in here in a while. I have been able to accomplish all the dare's so far. Finding a lot of them challenging to enable me to come up with new and exciting ways to do them. It is sometimes hard getting nothing in return and it seems bleak knowing that the person you love is not able to show the love to you as god wants them to..... but I say that change has to start with you and you cannot change the other person you have to leave that to God in his timing and in his plan.

I started these dares wanting a change in my spouse, but now i realise that my heart condition to begin with wasnt right and am praying that god will rectify this.... and I believe that already he is doing so.

Sometimes it is difficult when life throws all difficulties your way and to accomplish some dares seems impossible when your spouse really doesnt want to bother with you or spend any time with you ( he is passive aggressive), only in his own interests your mind set starts that nothing will change, but now i believe that in gods timing and a change in my mind set, all things work out for the good of our lord!!!!!

Will just see how things keep going, God has already opened my eyes to so much, cant wait by the end of day 40 how much more will be revealed.

This is a journey and each journey has its own holes in and god is there to provide the tarmac to make it easier.....

Day 1-Love is Patient

beforethevows — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:42:00 GMT

Today was easier than I thought it would be. Love is patient. I can handle that. I’ve worked a lot on my patience over the last few years. I’m trying to remember they won’t all be this easy, and that today’s lesson is far from over. Patience is not something to be discarded in a relationship because the dare is done. It’s a building block for all the future dares too. Yes today was easy, some days it won’t be. I don’t know if I will ultimately wind up doing this book alone or not. It’s something we had talked about doing together, but with him studying for finals, well it doesn’t matter, if we wind up doing this days or years apart, or he never does. I’m doing this really for me. To become a better woman. To learn to love the right way. To connect with God, who up until the last two years was never something I looked for in life but as of late seems so sorely missing. So after the first day done I simply pray for the reminder that patience is not something to be cast away, but something to hold and build upon.

Book Giveaway: 1, 2 Peter, Jude (New American Commentary) by Thomas R. Schreiner

JakePratt — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:00:00 GMT

This week's giveaway is 1, 2 Peter, Jude by Thomas R. Schreiner in the New American Commentary series. See the excerpt here.

To enter the giveaway, follow @BHAcademic on Twitter and send the following tweet from your account by Wednesday, April 24 (by 11:59 p.m. Eastern Time): Win a copy of Thomas Schreiner's NAC commentary on 1, 2 Peter, Jude from @BHAcademic http://ht.ly/k7WY3

_______________

Must be 18 years or older, and a resident of the US. See complete rules HERE.

Not all about me

foreverlearning — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 08:25:58 GMT

This morning I listened to a sermon on my doody-dad thing. The pastor made the comment that it's not all about us. At yesterday's service the husband interviewed made the same remark in a different way. He used to think he was awesome, rolling along with life. Playing the drums in the church band was a way for him to see himself as a rock star. As he said this awesomeness he felt about himself led to his downfall. That was his trouble. He said instead he should have been playing to serve.

This has got me thinking about these dares and my marriage. It's not about me. It's about how I can best serve the Lord in my marriage, in my family, in my relationships, in my life.... Not everyone chooses to serve in this way, which leads to wrong decisions, bad behaviour, just like my Mum and husband chose to do. I am seeing they are not bad people, just people who chose not to serve in those times. I have done that myself many, many times as well. I have not always served. Hopefully I am learning to though.

Day 11, 12 - Two Days

Paul — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:53:36 GMT

Day 11 - Love Cherishes

She's been working really hard to find ways to save money and stretch her dollars, and I know that she's selfless enough that she'll sacrifice the things she wants to ensure the boys don't go without. I put together a little gift basket for her that has everything she needs to enjoy some nice coffee & chocolate, since she's cutting out everything she doesn't need.

Day 12 - Love Lets the Other Win

So a major hot topic between the two of us involves our church (I want to share and she wants me to leave). We got married there and as far as the pastor is concerned I am a member, though wife says I'm not. More importantly I feel very at home there. Even though her reasons seem selfish and vicious to me, according to her that's the same as how she sees my stance on the subject. I wrote her letting her know that I'm putting her preferences first and I will find another church to worship at for the foreseeable future. This was a painful decision for me (the pastor asked me not to leave) but I chose to put her first.

Conversation did not start well. In short, I 'don't understand the point' and I'm just 'trying to control her' and all sorts of other fun stuff. She lambasted me again for not finding a new church, even though she's been telling me for weeks that she was going to find a new church. Instinctively I got all defensive and self-righteous and had a big ol' long e-mail pointing out why she's wrong and blah blah blah and thank God I didn't send it. I ate my breakfast, prayed, and simply wrote: "With me admitting that I completely misunderstand your concerns and this whole situation, me not going to X makes it so you can take the boys to church, yes? So problem solved right, even if I'm an idiot about the whole thing?"

So I not only got the opportunity to let her win the church issue, I got to let her win a new argument about the church issue too :) We went out later that night, wine and a movie. Last time we started that, we ended up seeing each other every night for two weeks and it got to be too much and she stepped WAY back again. I'm praying for the strength and wisdom to step back and just keep working on the dares; if she invites me out and I'm free I'll go. Otherwise I'll work the Dares and pray for guidance and stay out of God's way.

Round 2 - day 11

hopefullforever — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:45:27 GMT

Today was an okay day. I didnt see much of my husband today. We spent some of the morning together and then I didn't see him the rest of the day until the evening. When I did see him, he seemed nice. His family was over for a gathering. I still feel the distance at times still, but overall seems to be moving forward. I'm not sure if I am manipulating anything, but I texted him that I missed him and he never responded. I don't understand since he still acts as though he wants this to work at times. Again, it must be him wanting the upper hand again. I am trying to let go and let God, but it is so hard. I am praying to be relieved of this anxiety I feel often from time to time. I just wish he would show some consistency with his positive attitude towards our marriage. I have no idea what to expect day to day.

Can this be done before marriage?

beforethevows — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 14:13:00 GMT

New to the community and looking for some advice. Is this something that can be done before marriage? While not married, the topic has come up frequently over the course of the last year and we want to make sure we have a good solid foundation to build upon before we commit to something we both consider sacred. A little bit of background on us, while not married, we have been through a lot as a couple over the last year including a deployment, a long distance relationship, infidelity and a lot of arguing where both of us has admittedly been too stubborn or proud to admit wrong or see the other person’s side. We are finally at the point of healing and things between us are stronger than ever, but we are looking to really solidify our relationship with God and each other and thought this would be a good way to do it. Any advice? Is this something that can be done before marriage?

Church This Week

foreverlearning — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 08:38:30 GMT

We have been 3 times now to the same church. Our children loved it again and want to keep going back.

This week it was the womens turn to go out into the foyer for coffee and cake. The men stayed inside to hear the husbands talk about how his life unravelled. While outside a lady came over to talk with me. After she asked about where I was at, she said that I haven't got a relationship with Jesus or God. She wants me to read John 3 this week and she'll look for me next week. I do struggle with this. I mean what kind of a God allows a mother to abuse her own children or allows a husband to head butt his wife or a Grandfather to nearly kill his Grandson etc. While writing this I recalled an article I read that said people are responsible for their own actions or choices. In other words we're given the freedom to make our own choices. That is why we are here to choose what kind of a life we'll live. Life is not about not having problems. As Sean keeps saying draw closer to the Lord, this is between you and him, let your journey be your testimony. Now wonder I'm still here on round 7, I really am a slow learner.

On another note, a nice man there said to me that it takes time to work through the feelings of condemnation (that I grew up with in our church). As the pastor said it was like I was/am waiting to be struck down with everything I do wrong. There was no feeling of a loving heavenly father. I was always fearful of doing the wrong thing. Maybe this is why I have a lot of shame or guilt inside. We had the fear of God put into us rather than trying to build a relationship with him.

Lots to think and pray on.

Round 2 - day 10

hopefullforever — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 04:56:39 GMT

Today you are supposed to show your spouse that your love is unconditional by going out of your way and doing something nice. I was extremely tired today since I only got 4 hours of sleep last night, however I still gave him a back and hand massage. It seemed as though we had a rough morning since I was irritating him for some reason. We did talk once in the middle of the day by my initiation. I thought he was gonna be in one of his moods when I got home, but he surprised me with a new dress he bought for me while I was at work. I was very surprised since he hasn't done this in a very long time. We had dinner with my family, which he was surprisingly affectionate at. I gave him the massage before bed, but when we went to bed, I felt that distance from him again. He didnt feel line holding me at all throughout the night. I fell asleep praying, and felt satisfied with God filling that void. We seem to be moving forward, but the whole driving separate cars thing totally relates to us. I am way ahead of him. I can't wait for him to catch up and get in he same car as me.

Rnd 3 Love Dare Day 30 Love Brings Unity

kpransom — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 00:08:29 GMT

Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.

The one area that comes to mind is independence. It's good to be your own person and to have your own interests but not at the expense of your relationship with your wife. Sometimes she just wants to help whatever that might be. If she sees some weakness she would tell me but wouldn't listen. She asks can I do anything for you and I would say no I'm good. I have learned that a woman epecially in marriage that she need to be the most important person beside Christ of course in your life. I didn't do that in the beginning. I asked her what could I do to make us more at one with one another. She didn't have an answer. She did say that for now we are learning to be friends again. This is the most important thing for her right now. We still have separate checking accounts. I have learned that she has this for security as she doesn't know what is going to happen with life in general. She would like to keep it just to feel safe. What she is really saying is she doesn't trust me yet. I can understand where she is coming from with that. As I follow Christ and strive to be more like him I hope that I can gain her trust back.

Rnd 3 Love Dare Day 29 Love's Motivation

kpransom — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 23:55:14 GMT

Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you," then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person - unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.

My wife's birthday is coming up and for her birthday, even though she asked for a tent while we were shopping. What she really wanted was GPS for her car. I finally got the money together and bought it from an online vendor. I thought I ordered it with priority shipping and it wouldn't get here until april 24 the day before her birthday. The day before it came the company called the house phone. Normally my wife doesn't answer the phone because they are mostly sales calls. But she decided to answer. After she got the call she called me and said that she got a call from the company and she gave me the information. Then it dawned on me while we were talking that this is the company to verify my information. My heart sunk because the GPS was supposed to be a surprise. Luckily, the person from the company didn't give any details about the purchase. Next day two packages arrive at the house. Again my wife called me and said that I have two packages and that she put them on at my computer desk. She didn't open them thinking they were for me. After I got home I promptly opened up the packages and started setting up the system. But I didn't let her see it yet. When she came home she asked where was the package I said the gremlin took it. She smiled knowing that I was up to something but didn't know what. So I told her what it was that came today. She was suprised and very thankful. She always gets anxious when she gets lost. This navigation system should help reduce those fears at least while she is driving. She said that I finally heard her about this. Now she is excited about her camping trip with this new "toy" she won't be afraid of getting lost. I constantly say "I love you" to my wife but this is one of the ways to show her. The gift is just a byproduct of me listening to my wife.

Struggling

rlam0616 — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 19:44:52 GMT

I've been going through health and legal issues within the past week so it's been hard for me to keep up but I've been asking God to help me get through it and find a way to finish this Love Dare.

I had done Day 7 on Thursday but didn't get a chance to tell him the one positive trait that I appreciated in him until Friday morning. I told him how he was a good dad. He was wondering where that came from. I know he knows these things I'm saying aren't like me. Over the past few days I've been so overwhelmed with emotions and have been confused about what it is I feel. When I was writing the negative and positives I surprisingly found it easier to write all these positive traits rather than negative.

For some reason, I just feel like I know who he really is rather than this person he tries to portray to the world. This scares me because I feel like I'm starting to care how he is doing every day. Like I've said in the past entries, I don't want to fall in love with him all over again. I know this Love Dare is a journey between me and Christ. Does He want me to fall in love with him again or something? I've noticed how much warmer my ex husband has been towards me and it's strange. Even my sister noticed and thought it was odd.

I'm trying so hard to focus only on the journey and trust me, I am beginning to feel so much more different.

Day 10, Unconditional Love

Paul — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 16:54:36 GMT

Day 10, Love is Unconditional -

I really wasn't sure how to approach this dare. So far half the dares seem to be "buy your spouse something," insofar as the thinking and planning of, and the motivation behind, the gifts is always different but for the person on the receiving end, I worry it might just seem like a parade of gifts.

For those who read my last post I wasn't sure whether this should be an open gift or a stealthy one, but since I hadn't done stealth yet that's what I did. For completely unrelated reasons I ended up parked *literally* next to the front door of City Hall, so before I left I went in and paid the utility bill on the house. Money is a major stressor in her life right now (for good reason; she has custody of the kids but no money) so a lot of bills are piling up on her. I think I might just keep coming back each month to pay this bill and see how long it takes her to notice! :)

It felt nice to do something without being all "Hey I did something for you!"

-----

Prior to my devotions I've been reading the bible each morning and evening ... I prefer to start at the beginning of a book and read all the way through before moving on, but after reading John and Matthew back-to-back, was a little "gospelled out." I then read (believe it or not ) Philemon, and even in this tiniest of books found a nice little passage (1:15-16) which seems perfect for my brothers and sisters who are perservering in the Love Dare:

"Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back for good ... he is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a man and as a brother in the Lord."

CrossBooks Announces Winner of Inaugural Writing Contest

DavidSchrader — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 20:38:00 GMT

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – CrossBooks, the assisted self-publishing imprint of B&H Publishing Group, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources, has announced Stacy Navarro, author of Hand Over Your Heart, is the winner of the inaugural CrossBooks Writing Contest. Navarro will receive a free CrossBooks Marketing Plus publishing package worth more than $4000.

“It’s an amazing confirmation that writing is definitely something I should continue doing,” said Navarro. “Needless to say, it takes time and energy; and with a husband, four kids, and many other responsibilities I often evaluate how I spend my time. I pray for God’s will to be done in my life. So, winning is like a nod from my Heavenly Father saying, “Yep, keep writing, Baby!”

CrossBooks invited authors to submit completed manuscripts of any genre; all had to be original and not previously published. Nearly 200 authors sent in their works for consideration.

“We were extremely pleased to receive such quality writings that covered a wide variety of subjects,” said CrossBooks business director Paul Mikos, “Picking just one grand prize winner was difficult; but we’re already looking forward to the next contest.”

Information on the Second Annual CrossBooks Writing Contest will be made available on the Crossbooks web site later this year. For more information or to begin publishing with CrossBooks, please go to www.crossbooks.com.

###

ABOUT CROSSBOOKS

CrossBooks is the assisted self-publishing imprint of B&H Publishing Group, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources. As a Christian company dedicated to bringing more Christian voices into the publishing industry, CrossBooks is committed to an unwavering principle of excellence. While our authors contribute monetarily to the cost of publishing, we maintain theological and literary standards in keeping with our statement of faith. Theologically trained professionals review every manuscript, making us the most trustworthy Christian assisted self-publisher in the world. Established authors, first-time authors, and authors anywhere in between are meeting their goals and fulfilling their vision by publishing with CrossBooks. For more information, visit us online at CrossBooks.com or call 1-866-879-0502.

Round 2 - day 9

hopefullforever — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 16:24:51 GMT

Today was okay. I didn't really get a chance to greet him since we were together all day. He was nice for the most part of the day. Of course there were the jokes about him and other women. It really hurts that he continues to joke like that. If I tell him it bothers me, he just says I am being too sensitive. I often feel that he is trying to find ways to get a rise out of me too. For example, he invited me to go to his boxing class with him as a guest. Anytime I bring up when I can go, he tells me that I am intruding on his thing, but yet he is the one who invited me. It's like he loves being mean, then nice, then mean, just to see my reaction. I have been doing pretty good at not showing frustration, but I am deeply frustrated. I guess it's all part of his struggle. I feel anytime I contact him first or initiate anything that I am bothering him. Actually, there was a time recently when I was at work and wanted to make sure my son got up for school. I called maybe 4 times in a 45 min time period and texted twice. When he finally called back, he said I was being annoying with calling so much. Hello, I was just wanting to make sure my son wasnt late. He would have done something similar in my shoes, I'm sure. But he has to have the upper hand and make sure I know how annoying it is...it sucks. Now I am feeling anxious and he kind of hurt my feelings. I will pray and hope that I can not let it bother me. I know this is a slow progress. I also struggle with the fact that he may never fully accept Christ. I know, Sean will tell me not to worry about him, but it's hard not to. I read an article the other day of this Christian woman who is married to an atheist. They have been married for like 25 years. Why has her testimony not changed her husband? If he never has Christ, will he always think its okay to joke the way he does. And if he truly desires other women, will he eventually act on it. These are my thoughts that I need to pray on, I know. Just wondering what other opinions were.

B&H Academic Authors on the Web - 4/19/2013

JakePratt — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 11:00:00 GMT

Daniel Akin: Divine Sovereignty and Human Responsibility: I Still Have Not Changed My Mind

Bruce Ashford: Briefly Noted: Was Hitler Ill?

Chad Brand: A Bridge Too Far? Charles Leiter and an Over-Realized Soteriology

Mark Coppenger: Did the Jews Corrupt the Old Testament to Slight Mohammed?

Jason Duesing: He Didn’t Want to Rush into Ministry Unprepared: Jonathan Edwards and Theological Education

Nathan Finn: Training Pastors through the Church

Jim Hamilton: The Kingdom of God

Jonathan Leeman: Being informed on challenges to religious liberty

Ray Van Neste: The Hobbit & The Psalms

Thom Rainer: Seven Distinguishing Characteristics of Unified Churches

Jerry Sutton: 7 Steps to Becoming Spiritually Prepared to Preach

Thomas White: We Should Study Systematic Theology for the Gospel

Days 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

TOBaby — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 21:29:53 GMT

Things have been going remarkably well. The changes I have made in myself, I believe are being seen and felt by my husband, have led me to notice some changes he has made. He has been thoughtful, and kind and a little more communicative. He's been coming home for dinner and just seem more plesant to be around.The last few dares have gone well. Fairly simply to accomlish. I've taken about 2 days on each just to reread the day's lesson and really think and pray about the dare before doing it and then rereading it and reflecting before journaling about it. My husband was in Argentina for 6 days so I was busy and that kept me away from the computer and this website. I was however, going forward in the book. Things are so much calmer and more peaceful in our home now, even with an added resident and dog. My mom and her dog came to live with us about a month ago until my sister is able to move back into the area.

I had Bible study today with my lady friends and was happy to share and praise God's work in me through The Love Dares. I have even been able to apply a lesson from the book to a situation I had with my adult daughter. And it was so freeing to handle it with God by my side rather than reacting and feeling horrible after. Thank you Lord for your guidance and patience with me. Everyday YOU that give me to work closer to YOU and heal my marriage is a gift from YOU and I am so grateful.

Today's dare is to share how glad I am about a success my husband has had. Although this may not be a success it is important to him and I look forward to letting him know that I hope he enjoyed his trip to Argentina and I am happy that he had the time he needed to relax and enjoy one of his hobbies so that he could come back to us refreshed and able to work hard to provide for our family.

Round 2-day8

hopefullforever — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 19:17:10 GMT

So today my husband got laid off. I made sure to thank him and say I was proud of him for supporting us as long as he did. I reassured him that everything was going to be alright. We had a good day. We had a conversation about how I thought Jesus was very powerful and is the reason why we were even still together. I also said maybe us losing the baby was all part of His plan since I would be due in a few weeks. It would have been very difficult caring for a new baby and our three other kids with just my part time income. He said he thinks its ridiculous when people think Jesus has anything to do with any of that. He did agree, however, that God may be the reason we have gotten through such a difficult time in our marriage. He has joked a little about him having a girlfriend on the side which hurts me everytime he says anything like that. I hate that he thinks of other women that way. It is a struggle that I will have to pray on. I do thank God everyday that we have even came this far.

Day 9, Mr Nice Guy

Paul — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 15:46:38 GMT

Day 9, Love Makes Good Impressions

This dare went as expected - I was warm and smiling and polite, she was cold and abrupt when handing over the boy. When picking him up though she did actually engage me in conversation (about financial stuff about which I'm usually interested but it really excites her) which was a pleasant surprise. Had a good time with the boy as always. I really am making a lot of good memories with him, but he's so young he won't be able to remember all of it. I don't know what's going to happen as far as the divorce/marriage but I'm going to start a journal for him. Mostly document all the fun we have in the limited time we have together, my hopes and dreams for him. Something I can give him when he has kids of his own.

----

I'm praying for an idea for day 10, Love is Unconditional. There are a million things I can think of but I won't see her or be able to speak with her today ... the wording on this dare seems vague, not sure if this is one where I should 'present' the fruits of the dare to her which won't work today, or if this is one of those 'sneaky' dares where I do it now and she may or may not eventually discover it like with a later dare in Fireproof. If anyone has any thoughts one way or the other, let me know.

She is having some serious financial problems right now so I may pay her phone bill or go down to City Hall and pay the utlities bill or something like that (we are separated and mid-divorce, so our finances are completely separate (her lawyer's request)).

----

I'm also praying 'Lord I believe, help my unbelief'. I think that's from Mark Chapter 9. In context it was actually a lame attempt to convince Jesus to heal a child, but it speaks to me now ... I am trying to choose to have faith, choose to believe that God will renew me - and simultaneously asking God to help me have a stronger belief. It sounds like circular logic, but my philosophy is "Hey, it's an imperfect prayer from an imperfect being trying my best."

Day 25 - Love Forgives

Bryan — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 06:45:10 GMT

What did I forgive my wife for:

- For her selfishness, the need to do things for herself with little thought to me or the boys

- For not talking when she had issues with me, issues that should have been discussed before that grew into the monsters they are now

- For seeming to enjoy time with other men, for causing me to become jealous of how she was able to interact with them, but would not interact that way with me

- For not being willing or "being able" as she put it to be intimate with me for months

- For the separation

- For anything else I may thought was unfair to me, but don't come to mind at this time. I will ask God to take whatever else that I may hold against her

Some of these I have carried for quite some time and others are fairly recent.

The possibilities are endless because I will continue to ask God to take these and all other issues that I may have or may come up from me and to continue to guide and strengthen me along this path I am on.

I feel it is easier to forgive other then it is to forgive myself. Self forgiveness is something I pray for daily. I still find myself placing the blame on me for my current situation. I look will keep looking forward to each new day and letting God work on me. I have a hard road ahead of me, but I am willing to walk that road.

Day 24 - love vs lust

Bryan — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 05:08:07 GMT

I would have to say that our last house was such a possession or lust. We may have been out growing the house before the last one, but this last one was to big and cost to much. It stretched our budget to tightly. It was almost much work to take care of. The financial stain was a stress factor for me. The maintaining of the house was a stress factor for my wife. The maintain the house was also a point of contention for her in the way she know feels about us. I promised to help when we agreed to purchase the house. The amount I actually helped wasn't what it should have been and was never consistent enough. Now that the house is gone and we are in our own places. Now I have to maintain my own. I look at it like both this place and my renewed faith go hand in hand. I need to learn to maintain them both.

I have been seeking my wife since this all started. What I've learned so far is that I have taken her for granted for way to long. Having her back and being able to work out our problems is a major priority of mine and I have learned so much from doing the dares. I pray for the opportunity to put what I've learned into our lives.

other lusts:

Many times work has taken the front seat, while my wife and family have taken the back seat

I just realized that a relationship I have with a former co-worker could be considered a lust. There has never been anything adulteress about our friendship. She herself went through a divorce 2 years ago and we became close friends as I became one of the only people at work she felt safe enough to confide in. Others did take our relationship as a cause for her divorce but it was not even a factor to us and we let others think what they wanted. This co-worker also became a closer friend to my wife during her ordeal and has been supporting the both of us through ours.

Rnd 3 Love Dare Day 28 Love Makes Sacrifices

kpransom — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:53:01 GMT

What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

There were a couple of things that I did today. First, ink for the printer. My wife is a bargain hunter and she likes to print coupons. We couldn't do it before because of no ink. So I went after work and bought some. Second, I made a mistake on the tax return which cost about 4 thousand dollars. Wife was not happy. She said earlier that this can't be right. But I didn't think much of it. But I went back and saw that I filed wrong so I re-did the taxes and actually the government owns us money. So I made an amended tax return and sent it in as soon as possible. When it was all said and done she thanked me for checking into it. She was less anxious about the IRS because she had an run in with them before. She owed about 33,000 dollars. But God in his grace allowed the IRS to forgive the debt. So you can see why she would be anxious.

Day 15 - Trying

italy716 — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 16:44:55 GMT

I haven't been able to write over the last week just because of major changes. My husband's 19 year old daughter moved in with us which really is great. It has definitely taken the focus off of having to talk about the affair every waking moment. My husband ended the time that he was spending with the other woman...he admits he cares for her but anything more than that is futile. I know it was just a revenge tactic which he now feels horrible guilt for. We have started coming back together over the last 2 weeks which has been great but I can feel my own hesitation. I am afraid that he is going to run again so when I feel this I pray...I pray to be thankful for the good days and thankful for showing me something through the bad days. I pray for strength and peace not just for me but for him too....and I pray for these constant attacks of doubt and anger to no longer be heaped upon my husband. The beginning of the day can be full of love and then the end of the day wraps up with "only 5% of people make it through this". I have been suggesting (gently) that he go to counseling with me but he is on the fence about it right now. I have seen without a doubt that Christ has been working in both of us. I have continued reading and doing the Dares whole heartidly. I feel the changes in myself and I like it alot! I am though human and my anxiety and fear of us not being able to heal through this together creaps up quite often.

Round 2- day 7

hopefullforever — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 16:21:54 GMT

Today was interesting. At some point in the evening, my husband started talking about sleeping with other women again. He stated he was just being honest and apologized. I got upset, and started to walk out o the room. He then stopped me and started mocking my relationship with Christ, telling me I should call on Him to forgive him and accept the truth. I was so hurt, but tried to brush it off. After a few minutes he called me over to him. He went on to say he was sorry, and that he is back "in" this marriage. He said he was sorry for what he's put me through and thanked me for not giving up. He said he was in love with me again and was falling deeper everyday. I of course was so happy. Now looking back though, I have to wonder what the whole thing was about sleeping with other women. I keep trying to shake it, but it really bothers me. He never said he didn't mean it, but just that he shouldn't have said it. It really hurts. I hope this revelation he seems to have had is genuine, but I guess that is out of my control. He did say that since I've been doing the love dare, he's seen a change in me and likes it. Although I am not doing it for him, I am happy to ear that and know it was all Gods work. We are both still a huge work in progress.

Day 8, Catching Fire

Paul — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 16:14:12 GMT

Day 8 - Love is not Jealous

At first this dare was tough mostly because life has been throwing us both around a lot. I had trouble thinking of a 'success she had recently enjoyed.' She has always sacrificed what she wanted for me and the boys. She doesn't really do a whole lot outside of parenting and school. I didn't feel anything recent in the parenting/home category could be deemed a success; instead I went with her schooling. She actually bombed the last quarter (due a lot to spending time filing for divorce) but overall her grades have been really good, so I just celebrated how awesome it is that she's getting her degree after all these years and how proud I am of her.

Looking forward to time with the boy today. Weather is getting nicer; there was frost on the windshield again but the afternoons have been sunny. Visitations on Sundays are lackluster, as it's too cold to play outside but nothing's open before 11am. But the weekdays are nice, chasing him around the park/mall/house is a heck of a lot better than being at work. This also presents me with a great opportunity for today's dare (love makes good impressions).

The new, full-color Holman Illustrated Bible Handbook

ChrisCowan — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 10:04:00 GMT

The new full-color Holman Illustrated Bible Handbook provides a rich store of background knowledge for each of the Bible's 66 books, including

Key texts
One sentence summary
Author and date of writing
Audience and destination
Occasion
Genre and literary style
Summary of book's content
How the book fits into God's story

The content is complemented by full-color photos, maps, reconstructions, illustrations, and paintings. Download the chapter on the Gospel of Luke.

Days 5, 6, 7, Pardon the Interruption

Paul — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 23:57:06 GMT

Day 5 - Love is not Rude

Asked for some ideas/suggestions of things that make her irritated or uncomfortable ... she usually doesn't sweat the small stuff, plus she'd been really pissed at me lately, so it ended up being more a list of major lifestyle/relational problems we have. Still, I listened patiently, responded politely and said thank you. She called me back a little later with one more thing - sounded like she was trying to be helpful, not put one more nail into the coffin. I felt very satisfied with this dare, like I had an opportunity to shine, and did.

Day 6 - Love is not Irritable

I have definitely been irritable throughout our marriage. I usually ended up venting at my stepson, which is even worse than when I did it to my wife - at least she has the capability to defend herself against my anger and sarcasm.

Doing the dare, I identified several things I can do to reduce the stress in my life...some of these are things that lately I have been working on already. Also there are some "wrong motives" (selfishness) that, even though I felt something was wrong and was already trying to curb them, now I know how harmful and insidious they were, and I am redoubling my efforts.

Day 7 - Love Believes the Best

Major AHAH moments reading this dare. Yes, believeing the best is good. Yes, I spend too much time concentrating on the negative (in this case, concentrating on how she concentrates on the negative!) Yada yada yada, then I read two things .. first, "...time in the Depreciation Room kills marriages. Divorces are plotted in this room and violent plans are schemed." Whoah.

But THEN I read "You may say, 'But these things are true!'' Holy cow I was thing those EXACT words while reading the first two pages of the dare. I almost expected the next words to be "So What??" That is what I got. So what if they're true? All of the good things are true too!

Now for me this is where intellect runs out and I have to CHOOSE torely on faith. My wife spends a lot of time in the Depreciation room lately; no good can come of this. I'm praying that God pushes her out of there, and even if she doesn't go in my Appreciation room, she can go in our sons'.

Round 2- day 6

hopefullforever — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 23:10:54 GMT

So doing this dare this time, I feel I need to add margin to my kids lives. I feel with all that has been going on, I have not given them as much attention. In order to make this relevant to the dares, I will spend more time speaking about Christ with them. Today seems a bit like a trade, however, I can recognize the good without losing sight of God. My husband has been great today. He has told me several times today that he lies me, held me, and even made love (not just sex) with me. It's felt great. He told me he is still "liking" me. I am still thanking God, but the last time he did this, it only lasted for 4 days before his jerky ways came back. It's going to get harder before it gets easier from what I've heard. He does still mock my relationship with Christ and seems to not want anything to do with church or anything like that. I know I cannot force any of that so I just ignore his negativity towards it. Hope the good attitude holds up this time.

Beautiful...taken on my way to work this AM....Truly God's work!!!

Missy is Faithful 2013 — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 14:34:04 GMT

Day 5 - Day 6

rlam0616 — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 13:47:16 GMT

It's been a hectic few days for me being as I have so much going on but they are things that are going to make a change for the better in my life. All I could think about yesterday when I was dealing with some issues is how perfect God's timing is and He has a reason these things haven't moved forward sooner.

Day 5 when I asked my ex-husband if there was anything that I do that irritates him, he replied, "Not anymore really." Which I understand because our relationship as parents to our daughter has strengthen I believe and we really do get along better. Before I started this Love Dare I was actually able to put our differences aside for her because I know how much better her life will be without having to feel torn between her parents later on down the road. When my dad finally started taking a part in my life I saw a better side of him than what my mom made out to be. I don't want that to be the case for my daughter. I want her to truly believe her dad and mom are her world with no bad mouthing from either side. My daughter did make a statement though yesterday that worries me when she mentioned to me that I was daddy's silly girlfriend. I had to explain to her that daddy and I are just really good friends who can be silly together because of her. I hope it's not starting to confuse her.

Day 6 really didn't cause me to initiate any personal conversation with him which I sought as a relief. However, I do have the tendency to get irritable at small things lately unrelated to my ex husband but things I have no control over. I'm constantly stressed which presently is the biggest issue in my life right now. Dealing with being unemployed, not getting calls for jobs and my former employer appealing my unemployment. When I read the reading from that day I realized I do have so many wrong motivations in my life, not just with my ex-husband.
Greed - I have this obsession with accruing material things in my life because I feel like the more I have, the happier I'll be. I know this isn't the case and is something I truly need to work and pray on.
Pride - This is a big one for me because I get so irritated at my family now just when they are trying to help me out. I'm so prideful that I don't want to seem like I can't handle the situation I'm currently in.

These are all things I really need to pray for God to guide me in.

Last night I decided that instead of praying for myself, I would pray for peace and comfort for those involved in the Boston tragedy yesterday. This all breaks my heart so much and just shows you that the only light in this world is Christ himself.

Book Giveaway Winner - John Piper's Brothers We Are Not Professionals (updated and expanded)

ChrisCowan — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 09:49:00 GMT

Congratulations to the winners of last week's giveaway: Brian Elswick, Susan Grey, Josh King, Aaron Lindsey, and Van Loomis.

Each will receive a copy of John Piper's updated and expanded Brothers, We Are Not Professionals.